The Internet’s rowdiest rundown for this month’s Previews continues! Last night, I went toe-to-toe with the major publishers, but there’s still half a catalog to get through, and you know what that means.
That’s right, folks: The dreaded Apparel Section. But to be fair, there are a few hidden gems mixed in amongst the shirts that can identify you as a serious zombie movie enthusiast, like, say, this one:
Hey, wait a second! That’s not from this month’s Previews at all! In fact, that’s The Official ISB T-Shirt, one of the many fine ISB products available for purchase right now from CafePress!
Yes, I know: That was a gratuitous misuse of the introductory paragraph. Probably best to just move right along.
P.216 – AIT/Planetlar: I’m not sure if I mentioned it back when I read it, but since Matt Fraction’s Last of the Independents is re-offered in this one, it’s as good a time as any for a quick reminder: This book is awesome. It’s like a crime-oriented action movie set to paper, which is only reinforced by the fact that it’s printed landscape style (but with a nifty slipcase so it doesn’t look out of place on your bookshelf), and if you’ve been reading recent issues of Punisher War Journal, you’ll probably already know that Matt Fraction does high-powered desert showdowns better than just about anybody. If you haven’t already, pick it up. And what the hey, grab The Annotated Mantooth! while you’re at it. That thing’s like the book version of girls making out with each other while things explode.*
P.232 – Archie Comics:
For those of you wondering why I still read the entire line of Archie comics even though the stories tend to be exercises in formula that forget to actually resolve into a punchline about half the time, I give you Civil Chores, wherein a dispute over allowance causes Archie and Jughead to turn against each other in a dispute that tears Riverdale in half. One can only assume that Dilton’s going to build a prison in Midvale to house dissidents like Josie and Bingo Wilkin, and that it’s only going to end when Archie’s gunned down by Betty, who has been brainwashed by Jason Blossom while Sabrina meditates at the North Pole.
And you don’t even want to know what’s going to happen to Chuck.
P.238 – Avatar Press:
Two weeks ago, I would’ve jumped on this t-shirt without question, but after having my “Jimmy Olsen Must Die!” t-shirt (the design of which I still like an awful lot) come out on the same day that I decided Countdown was a nigh-irredeemable mess this week, I wish they would’ve held off until I knew if Doktor Sleepless was going to be as good as I hope it is.
Then again, “Science Bastard” pretty much sums up the career goals of Chris Sims, Age 9, so it might be worth getting anyway.
P.288 – DMP: Is it just me, or do these guys look really bummed out about the fact that someone’s making a comic book about their wispy, man-on-man lovemaking?
I mean, I would be too, but those guys are supposed to be professionals!
P.330 – Oni Press: SAINTS BE PWAISED!
P.420 – Central City Track T-Shirt: I give the folks at Graphitti Designs a lot of crap for the t-shirts they come out with every month (which, lest you mistake this for an apology, is entirely deserved, as evidenced by the Zombie Captain America shirt from last month), but every now and then they come up with one like this. Like the WHIZ Broadcasting logo they did a while back, it’s sort of a stealth comic book shirt: obscure and generic enough that it doesn’t stick out like a huge, tacky sore thumb–Batwoman Metallix Symbol T-Shirt, I’m looking at you here–but anybody “in the know” is going to get what it’s about right off.
Atlantis swim team, however? That’s pushing it.
P.423 – Punisher “Bling Symbol” T-Shirt: And here I thought I’d finally managed to reconcile my love of the Punisher with my love of bling when I custom-ordered these from Paul Wall:
P.426:: With HeroesCon fast approaching some of you might be wondering how you can quickly identify yourself as someone that I really, really don’t want to talk to. Answer? This shirt:
Mark Hale: Would you talk to me if I had bought that Arkham Ahtletic Department shirt?
Chris Sims: … I have that shirt, Jackass.
Mark Hale: I figured you might.
Toys & Action Figures
P.444 – Star Trek: The Original Series Minimates Series 2: Despite a thorough, all-consuming obsession in my younger days (read: a socially crippling year in 5th Grade) I don’t have any particular attachment to Star Trek anymore. Even so, I seriously feel the need for a Happy-Ass Shirtless Sword-Weilding Sulu MiniMate.
This is probably why I remain single.
And it’s probably best to stop there. Besides, if I go any further, I may not be able to resist my desire to order the WWE John Cena Spinner Championship Belt Replica (P.470), and I think we can all agree that that should be avoided.
I mean, it spins, people. I’m not made of stone here.
*: No seriously: That actually happens in this book.