As those of you with real jobs may have noticed from the fact that you didn’t have to go to work, last Monday was Labor Day, and before I came down with the plague last week, I decided to celebrate appropriately. After all, for today’s modern jet-set comics reader, there’s nothing more laborious than having to go through the five hundred-page monster men call… The Previews Catalog.
Yeah, I know: That opening would’ve worked a lot better last week, but darn it, this is the ISB and we don’t re-write our segues around here, no matter how ridiculous they’re getting!
Maybe it’s best if we just move on with another no-holds-barred look at this month’s solicitations! Tonight, it’s the major publishers, and only one of us is gettin’ out in one piece!
Dark Horse Comics
P. 37 – The Goon Fancy Pants v.2: The Rise and Fall of the Diabolical Dr. Alloy: Despite the consumerist mania that has led me to own New Gods #1 in at least three formats, I’ve been trying to cut back lately on buying new versions of comics that I already own. That said, I’m still going to be getting this one, for the simple reason that the last Fancy Pants hardcover is one of the best-looking, best-produced, and signed-by-Eric-Powell-iest things I own.
Besides, do you guys realize how many deluxe-format hardcovers there are based solely around tough guys beating the living crap out of rampaging cyclopaean robots? Even if you count the Metal Men Archives, the answer is Not Enough.
DC Comics
P. 80 – Superman Annual #13: You know what I like about Superman? The fact that he’s the last Kryptonian. It makes him unique in the universe, but it also gives him that sense of tragedy in his past that drives him to do good: He saves the world because he’s from a planet that didn’t get saved, leaving him as the only survivor–
…Oh. Well, nevermind, I guess.
P. 87 – Justice League of America #15:
You know, it’s just not the Justice League until someone’s in iminent danger of being brutally murdered by a telepathic gorilla.
That said, the idea of Dwayne McDuffie on Justice League has got me excited to an almost unreasonable level, and not just because I’d like to see a comic about the JLA that’s actually readable again. No, it’s because he not only made an Injustice League with the characters’ arch-nemeses and evil opposites, but also somebody’s baby-mama. That’s genius.
P. 95 – Harley Quinn: Preludes and Knock-Knock Jokes HC: I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that I like Karl Kesel a lot. As a misguided teenager who had given up on Spider-Man for the relatively greener pastures of Gen 13, it was his amazingly underrated run on Daredevil (alongside Conan‘s Cary Nord) that brought me back to Marvel and rekindled a love for the character that continues to this day.
That said, Harley Quinn is fucking awful.
To be fair, it’s a lot better at the start than it is once A.J. Leiberman comes on to run it right into the ground for the last couple of arcs, but aside from the art of Terry Dodson–who’s awesome when he’s drawing anything that isn’t Trouble–there’s not a whole heck of a lot worth reading in this thing, especially when you can find the back issues on the cheap for far less than the $25 a completely unnecessary hardcover’ll set you back.
P. 96 – The Legion of Super-Heoroes: An Eye For An Eye: This, however, should be considered absolutely essential. As long-time ISB readers might recall from last year’s Badass Week Finale, the 1984 Paul Levitz/Keith Giffen Legion relaunch, wherein the Legion of Super-Villains decides to get serious about killing their counterparts and gets to it with brutal efficiency–is one of my all-time favorites. I mean really, from Light Lass running around naked for three issues to the final battle between Karate and Nemesis Kids, this one has it all.
If you’re going to read one Legion story in your lifetime, it should be… well, it should probably be The Great Darkness Saga
P. 96 – Batman/Superman: Saga of the Super Sons: Collected in trade for the first time: The adventures of Superman and Batman’s sons, who pretty much just roll around in a van kicking ass and fighting bikers.
By Bob Haney.
Fuck yes.
P. 108 – World of Warcraft #1:
Given that my taste in video games leans heavily towards lawyer simulations
Two words: Walt Simonson.
It might be hard to understand for those of you who haven’t read it, but Simonson’s work on Thor
Besides, if there’s one thing he’s known for, it’s the great way that he blends mythology, action, and super-heroics in a way that might actually work against the backdrop of the game’s setting. And besides, the preview pages include a scene where a guy punches out a crocodile, so it’s already better than Hawkgirl. But really, what isn’t?
Marvel Comics
P. 4 – Marvel Illustrated: The Picture of Dorian Gray #1:
Huh, that’s weird. I don’t remember Sarah Michelle Gellar being in that story at all.
P. 5 – Marvel Illustrated: Treasure Island #6: Like anyone else who dreams of writing comics for a living, I often find myself wondering what would be the most fun job in comics, and now I know: Writing solicitation copy for the Marvel Illustrated titles, wherein the classics of Western Literature are shilled to the massses in the Mighty Marvel Manner.
I mean really: This one promises both a stunning conclusion AND a cutthroat climax as Jim Hawkins takes on Long John Silver and his scurvy crew, and if that’s not a sign of Robert Louis Stevenson being filtered through the lens of Bill Mantlo, then brother, I don’t know what is.
P. 10 – Ultimates Saga: So, to review: This is a book designed to catch you up on all the intricate details you might’ve missed in a series that has a grand total of twenty-eight issues, including annuals. One can only assume that this is being marketed to goldfish, or maybe people that stopped paying attention to this joke forty-three words ago. Either way, good luck ordering it, suckers.
P. 25 – Ghost Rider Annual #1: Not to knock the good people with the thankless job of putting together the ad copy for Marvel Previews or anything, but there’s a banner across the top of this one alerting us to the fact that Ghost Rider Annual #1 introduces a brand-new character to “the Ghost Rider Mythos!” Even putting aside the fact that Ghost Rider having a “mythos” is, at best, a pretty tenuous stretch, has it really gotten to the point where the introduction of a new villain is really so unheard of that we need to flip out over it?
I mean, unless the new guy’s a demon made out of bees with rocket-launchers for arms and a devil-may-care attitude matched only by the speed of his Winnebago or something. Now that’s worth $3.99.
House of M: Avengers #1: PROS:
-Christos Gage and Mike Perkins, the creative team behind Union Jack
-An Avengers team consisting of Power Man, Iron Fist and Misty Knight among others.
-Luke Cage back in the yellow shirt that he seriously never should’ve stopped wearing.
CONS:
–House of M really, really sucked.
Decisions, decisions.
P. 56 – Sub-Mariner #6: So you guys want to know what happens when you start your drawing too high on the page and don’t leave yourself enough room at the top, so you have to draw the head really small to make up for it?
At least, I think that’s how it happened. The only other possibility’s that Michael Turner has very little grasp on anatomy, but really: What are the odds?
And that’s all for the majors. Tomorrow night, the small press and merchandise sections have their turn, but until then, feel free to discuss anything that caught your eye, like, say, why Judd Winick thinks it’s a good idea to have Cyborg include a guy who tried to rape Supergirl on his new team of Titans.
(HINT: It’s not.)
I’m normally against “throm ’em in the meat grinder and revamp” that premeates DC of late. But you can pretty well guarantee me buying a comic if it PROMISES to kill Dr. McRapeyLight. You can bring back the other Dr. Light, working as a eco-terrorist for Ras Al Ghul…
Power Boy belongs in Cyborg’s team because he’s hot and not very smart, a combination that is a weakness of mine. ‘Sides, outside of Roy Harper, name me one other himbo hero? Power Boy fits a niche and I look forward to the day he has two titles, appears on a team, and headlines a team up book.
The only other possibility’s that Michael Turner has very little grasp on anatomy, but really: What are the odds?
Getting better by the day, given that Namor’s right arm is thicker than his entire body, and he appears to have a giant fist growing out of his crotch. Although that would explain the look of puzzled irritation on his shrunken head…
2 things:
1) Michael Turner gets paid HOW MUCH? Maybe he’s paid more for every Photoshop filter used – ‘coz that’s rubbish. Hasn’t he ever seen a John Byrne Namor, for example?
and 2) Walt Simonson is indeed a god. Why, just last night, looking for something to take me off to the land of nod, I re-reread the X Men/Teen Titans crossover from waaay back when. I still say that Mr Simonson just about drew the X-folk better than Byrne and the Titans better than Perez in that book – and his Slade Wilson is magnificent.
So yes, I might get the Warcraft book just because he drew it. And the Power Man-back-in-funky-mofo-costume book: far too cool.
Great reviews as always, Mr Sims. I’m slowly getting back my enthusiasm for this wonderful medium thanks to sites like this.
Cheers!
Mal
“Power Boy fits a niche and I look forward to the day he has two titles, appears on a team, and headlines a team up book.”
That’s a beautiful dream, but he’s a New God. He’ll be dead soon.
So… This Namor is the new “Captain America pic”, right?
I kind of hope that I’m not right.
Ah, it looks like Liefield has been training a successor!
Featherless gods! That’s…wow.
what happens when you start your drawing too high on the page and don’t leave yourself enough room at the top, so you have to draw the head really small to make up for it?
I think that might not be an either/or but a “both/and” situation, btw.
Every time I get depressed about my own figure drawing skills/lack thereof, I look at a Liefeld cover and think “This man gets PAID to do this! I had a better grasp of human anatomy and volume in tenth grade (and the portfolio to prove it!) Dammit, I so too can draw comics!” and pick up my stylus again and keep plugging…
…or a Turner cover, of course. What’s with the scritchy-veiny muscles they both favour? Was that a fad in comics drawing when they got started, or did they start that school themselves?
Obviously, Atlanteans have a different anatomy to us normal, puny humans. Certainly Namor seems to have many more muscles in that arm of his than we do.
And…
“As those of you with real jobs may have noticed from the fact that you didn’t have to go to work…”
I didn’t have to go to work last Monday?!? Wha…?
No, no Chris. It was the Monday before that (27th Aug). And it’s called a Bank Holiday not Labo(u)r Day. :)
RE: Ultimates Saga:
“This 32-page special will also include an extra four-page section featuring an all-new story by C.B. Cebulski and Travis Charest.”
There’s your reason. I mean, it’s a lousy reason – they serialised that bloody Vision strip across all the Ultimate comics, but they can’t find room for this*? – but there you go.
//\Oo/\\
* – um, obviously I don’t mean “serialise a four-page comic…”
In the DCU, Baby Mama Drama = getting slashed with poison claws. Dave Hollister should have sang about that – his career might have lasted longer. (No one will get that joke)
Also – I’m surprised you don’t like World of Warcraft what with your affection for D&D.
re: Walt Simonson
I’ll be the first guy in line to rave about Simonson’s Thor run to anybody who will listen, and I was jazzed beyond belief when they finally solicited the next Simonson Thor Visionaries (which I finally got last week and, even though I feel like it’s treading water a bit, it’s treading water AWESOMELY).
Having met the guy and talked with him a few times, I can also say he’s a supremely cool human being who was far more patient with me than I deserved as I was trying to explain Dave Campbell’s “F@%K YEAH” to him and why Skurge rocks. And I still love his artwork.
But I find I can’t quite defend Simonson the writer quite as vigorously after reading his Wonder Woman arc between Phil Jimenez and Greg Rucka (the one that made headlines in a slow news cycle because “Wonder Woman cuts her hair! Film at 11!”). It was a pretty thankless assignment and I’m sure he did his best, but it was terrible.
” I don’t remember Sarah Michelle Gellar being in that story at all.”
And I don’t remember it having a James Marsters look-alike in it either.
Re: Superman Annual #13
I haven’t been reading Superman for a while – who’s the kid in the “S” jersey? I thought they killed off Superboy – is that “Supertot” or “Supertween” or something?
Poor Namor. Who knew you could get elephantitis of the arm?
And under the sea, no less?!?!
Jer,
I’m pretty sure that’s “Chris Kent,” the cousin of Clark Kent that he and Lois adopted, around teh same time a super-powered child from Krypton appeared on Earth and was broken out of a military facility by Superman.
So of course no one suspected that Clark and Superman might be the same person.
That all happened in the un-finished Donner/Johns/Kubert deadline flaunt-a-thon, but I guess Chris is sticking around, as Busiek occassionally refers to him in his Super-books.
And I think they’re publishing that Ultimates Saga for readers who are too lazy to reread the Ultimates. Like, yeah, there weren’t very many issues, but they spanned years, with months and months between issues. I guess they want us to be all up to speed when Jeph Loeb comes on and starts ignoring what came before.
That House of M:Avengers will have me riding the fence until I walk in the comic shop.
Yeah, as a wannabe drawin’-type guy, that Namor pic hurts my brain on many levels. I mean, yeah, he’s got the Atlantean Fistcrotch* goin’ on, and in order for that to work, his left elbow has to be somewhere around his hip. But then you look at his right arm, and clearly he’s either more asymmetrical than John Merrick or his elbow is about 2 inches from his wrist. WTF?
*-Atlantean Fistcrotch. Is that a martial art, a tragic STD, a missing page from the undersea kama sutra, or a kickass mixed drink? Discuss.
Looks to me like the Scion of Atlantis been whackin’ it.
Mark, judging by the flat profile on the green trunks, there’s nothing there for him to whack. Atlantean physiology seems to be a lot more different than we suspected.
“judging by the flat profile on the green trunks”
Did anyone else start humming the theme from “The Crying Game” just now?
Joel, he’s clearly built like a cetacean. It’s for streamlining (and also requires a special circulatory system to prevent against dangerous overheating – which may be TMI but hey, that’s biology for you, you can’t go very far without hitting TMI/Major Squick…)
It’s not just his arm – those knuckles are mind-boggling. See, on an average adult human being, your knuckles should be almost exactly the same width as the distance between the outer edges of your orbits, aka eye sockets, and likewise about the same as the distance between the outer corner of your eye and the point of your jaw. There will be individual variations, of course, but not as gross as this. Your fist however should not be anywhere near the size of your head, and this is true for all humans of any age, male or female. Also, your wrist should not be thicker than your neck! I’m trying to sketch out what his skeleton would look like, but it’s really hard because it’s so…distorted.
This is what I mean – I’m not an anatomist, just a semi-trained artist, but I think this is pretty accurate to what would have to be there without the distracting bands…
“Tonight, it’s the major publishers, and only one of us is gettin’ out in one piece!”
I really thought you were going to conclude with the famous Captain America line, “…and it won’t be me!”
bellatrys – so that’s what people mean when they say they’re big-boned.
also, i read that the guy who does samurai jack is doing a power man story with yellow shirt, tiara and all. awesome.
I think the term “Photoshop Filters” gets used too often. And incorrectly most of the time.
Having said that, Turner is crapping out a lot of these bad bad bad covers lately. Who demands it?
Objection!
Doctor simulators > Lawyer simulators
Chance – there is disturbing similarity to this skeleton, imo!
Power Boy fits a niche and I look forward to the day he has two titles, appears on a team, and headlines a team up book.
Which niche was he going for that time he–and this is clutch here–tried to rape Supergirl?
Is it me, or does that Superman/Power Girl/Supergirl/etc. pic bear a striking resemblance to a spot illo from a D&D rulebook demonstrating the relative heights of the elves, halflings, and other various demi-humans?
re: Guilty Gear
Explain to me how the hell a game becomes a Playstation Classic game and gets F&%#ING DISCONTINUED BY THE MANUFACTURER! GAAH! I… I just want my PS2 copy of X2… I need it so bad… Damn other Canadians, being too smart to sell their copies to me. Damn Amazon, not shipping to Canada. *weeping and gnashing of teeth*
I could buy Power Boy on Deathstroke’s Titans, sure, but this? Or perhaps he’s fooling everyone? Perhaps a DC comics version of “the accused” where no one believes Supergirl is in the works.
…
…
…
if so, just shoot me,
Clearly Power Boy’s Titan membership is the start of DCs bold new attempt to redeem rapists. I look forward to see him start a new team with Dr. Light, Tarantula, and The Mist. Toss in Major Victory for hours of irredeemable fun!
A “demon made out of bees with rocket-launchers for arms and a devil-may-care attitude matched only by the speed of his Winnebago” sounds like the greatest villain of all time. Seriously. Is there any way you could ellaborate with a name, or perhaps one of your infamous crayon illustrations of said villain? Because I think it would be amazing.
feel free to discuss anything that caught your eye, like, say, why Judd Winick thinks it’s a good idea to have Cyborg include a guy who tried to rape Supergirl on his new team of Titans.
To be fair, this is the DC Universe, where Maxima can murder a bunch of people and still be welcomed into the Justice League…
I happen to have a Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney card at my desk (I work at a law firm). Sadly, we do not have psychic legal assistants.
I don’t know. Does a demon made of bees really beat an undead nazi made of bees? Can’t we just give the winnebago to Swarm?
Although, I suppose he could use rocket launchers for arms.
Come to think of it, did Swarm ever fight ghost rider? I think I remember hearing something about him and the Champions.