Christmas Special: He Sees You When You’re Sleeping…

Pop Quiz:



Is this:

A) A creepy Christmas cover, or

B) The creepiest Christmas cover?

Show your work.


The above image can be found on the cover of 1988’s Archie’s Christmas Stocking (Stalking?), which one can assume is NOT reprinted in the trade of Archie’s Classic Christmas Stories, for good reason.

28 thoughts on “Christmas Special: He Sees You When You’re Sleeping…

  1. Christmas-Bear is Jolly in Santas sack!.

    Jolly-ROGER, that is.

    *Thinks about people maybe missing that roger is a sexual euphemism . . looks at picture again . . .no, that’s ok.*

  2. Thanks Archie for ruining Santa Claus for the second time in my life. Well, third. See website link for details.

    Whats that weird orange-colored object in the top left corner??

  3. “As creepy as this is, I’m sure there’s something even creeper out there.”

    Don’t worry. I’m sure Tarot has a Christmas special this year, too.

  4. Well, how else do you think Santa finances his operation?

    That’s right – his surveillance equipment combined with The Naughty List is used to provide 98% of the world’s porn!

    That reindeer feed doesn’t grown on trees, you know!

  5. That reindeer feed doesn’t grown on trees, you know!

    Actually, the diet of the reindeer consists primarily of tree-borne mosses and various types of leaves, so, well, it kind of does grow on trees.

    I’m just saying.

  6. If you divide that picture by the scene where the Green Goblin and Gwen Stacy are bumping uglies and then multiply it by a foot drawn by Rob Liefeld you get something that’s approximately 1.43 times creepier.

  7. As disturbing as this picture is, the fact that Betty’s sweater looks like it was designed by Jack Kirby for an Xmas-themed New Gods character helps ease my pain.

  8. I don’t get what’s creepy about taping a teenage couple having sex. Around here, we call that “Tuesday.”

  9. Really, the only change that needs to be Photoshopped in:

    Santa should be giving a “thumbs up” with his left hand.

  10. When I used to roam around in the vast jillions of comics I once owned when I was a retailer (and in my dad’s warehouse packed with comics when I was a lad), I stumbled upon an Archie comic book that must have been done around the late 70s or early 80s where Archie and Betty get stranded somewhere during a storm and they have to spend the night, alone, together in a motel room. Naked for part of the time, shrouded in blankets (their clothes were soaked in the storm and they have to take them off to dry them out).

    Honest to Jove. At least that’s how I recall it.

  11. Does this make anyone else think of that Calvin and Hobbes strip where Calvin asks whether Santa is a ‘kindly old elf or CIA spook?’

  12. answer: b the creepiest
    why: it brings to mind memories of creepy santas at the mall plus stalker much. but what really does it for me is the creepy little bear on santas back as if to say not only is santa creepy but he has creepy minions