Christmas Special: Right This Very Minute!

With only 22 days left ’til Christmas, some of the more sharp-eyed ISB readers might’ve noticed that I’ve been a little lighter than usual in terms of holiday content, and I have to admit, I’m just not feeling it yet this year.

Maybe it’s just because I don’t have the tree up yet–marking the latest I’ve put it up for as far back as I can remember–but while I’ve been faithfully popping open my Advent Calendar and rocking my favorite Christmas Album, but for some reason, the ol’ zing just isn’t there, and I feel like I could use something to kickstart the holidays.

I guess what I’m saying here is… I need a little Christmas.



Ah. That’ll do just fine.

Oh, relax! He’s not talking about the real Santa Claus! But I imagine that’s going to require a little bit of explanation.

It all goes down in the pages of Scott Gray and Roger Langridge’s “How Fin Fang Foom Saved Christmas,” from the 2007 Marvel Holiday Special, conveniently reprinted in the Marvel Holiday Digest. Its no secret that I’m a fan of Christmas comics in general–aside from Abe Lincoln covers, they’re one of the few things I go out of my way to collect–but for the past few years, Marvel’s been doing an amazing job with theirs. Heck, 2005’s even includes Jeff Parker’s Santron story, which edges out even the Deadman bit from Christmas With the Super-Heroes #2 as my favorite holiday comic of all time.

Gray and Langridge, however, do one that’s a little less moving and a little more silly, and it’s totally awesome.

As you might have already gathered from the title and the panel above, it’s a story about how Fin Fang Foom saves Christmas by blowing up Santa Claus…



…but as for why Triple-F is walking around on Christmas Eve in one of Ben Grimm’s overcoat-and-fedora “disguises,” the world may never know. Still, who are we to fathom the motivations of an ancient dragon alien who wears little purple pants and fights Iron Man?

What matters is that he ends up running into Dr. Strange’s live-in manservant and kung fu teacher, Wong, during a Christmas parade, which means that team-up rules are now officially in effect and the probability of an attack by HYDRA has now risen to roughly 97%.



Okay, look: I know not everyone’s as big a fan of Christmas as I am, but come on. A giant green HYDRA Claus robot rampaging around with a running crew of “elves” with laser guns?



That is at least eight kinds of awesome.



Hey, that’s another one of my favorites!

Anyway, as awesome as a giant green Santa robot is, it’s not so awesome that a good ol’ fashioned team-up can’t take it out, and while Fin Fang Foom is a little reluctant to aid the puny humans at first, he eventually learns a little something about the true meaning of Christmas.

Because you see, children, Christmas isn’t about presents, or songs, or even robots. Christmas is about something more. Something deeper. Something… true.

Christmas… is about karate.



And that’s real.

37 thoughts on “Christmas Special: Right This Very Minute!

  1. Fin Fang Foom AAA-AHHH-AHHH!
    Fighter of the Hydra AAA-AHHH-AHHH!
    Champion of the sun AAA-AHHH-AHHH!
    You’re a master of karate and friendship…for everyone.

  2. Excellent, excellent choice on the Phil Spector Christmas album. If you’re a fan of “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” and you haven’t heard it yet, check out the Sammy Davis Jr./Carmen McRae version. It’s my Official Christmas Jam of 2008. When I’m not listening to Los Straitjackets, I mean. Also completely rad? Stone Temple Pilots covering “Christmas Time is Here.” It’s really hard to find though. On one of the super early Kevin & Bean comps. Also includes Poe doing “Grandma Got Run Over.” I’ll shut up about Christmas music now.

  3. I’ve gotta say after Futurama and Invader Zim did their versions of evil Santa Claus robots I was afraid that it was impossible for there to be a new approach to the concept. All HAIL HYDRA! For giving us this gift.

  4. Ah the Scott Gray/Roger Langridge tag team always bring joy. There are some new Fin Fang Four stories coming (sadly through Marvel’s digital service) which will hopefully see print soon enough.

    Still Langridge is illustrating a Muppets comic which is a joyous event on it’s own that surely can rival any Christmas comic ever produced.

  5. Wow, this site rocks.

    Never in a million years did i think I’d see fing fang foom *and* santa claus discussed in the same post.

    maybe there is a christmas after all!
    *runs off on his pizza-box crutch*

  6. Any chance for a “Batman RIP in 30 seconds” feature to alleviate the confusion in the comicsphere? You ARE the ultimate authority.

    Thanks for spreading a little Christmas cheer, Sims.

    And I too would love to see a Batman: .R.I.P In 30 Seconds feature sometime.

  8. Any chance for a “Batman RIP in 30 seconds” feature to alleviate the confusion in the comicsphere?

    I would, but I don’t understand why there’s confusion.

  9. Then a “Secret Invasion in 30 seconds”, just so we can think that crappy “event” produced something worthy? Although I guess it would be “in 3 seconds”, tops.

  10. So does that make Wong the Dayman and Hydra the Nightman? Hydra didn’t try to get into Wong’s “boy’s hole”, did he?

  11. Actually, if Wong is really a kung fu teacher then that’s NOT real! Kung fu is a Chinese martial art while Karate is a Japanese martial art. You should know that.

    I’m disappointed in you, Chris.

    *shakes head is sadness*

  12. Who’s to say Wong doesn’t know all kinds of martial arts, in the same way that Dr. Strange knows all kinds of magic? It’s not like he JUST uses the Flames of the Faltine!

  13. Indeed, the spirit of christmas is a spirit of giving, giving something truly needed, that reflects the conection between giver and giftee. Sometimes a kung-fu punch isn’t quite the right thing to give a Hydra agent, where a karate chop really speaks about the relationship. Merry chrsitmas to all!

  14. Hmm… I supponse that’s true. I amend my statement. Accept my apologies. After all, there’s no reason why a badass martial artist shouldn’t know *all* martial arts… Especially in comics…

  15. No one has answered my question, about whether or not this is the same Fin Fang Foom that was in the “Fin Fang 4” book or not. It doesn’t really matter, I guess, as this story seems super-neat, I would just like to know.

  16. The story in question is not in the holiday digest, as least not in the one I bought yesterday.

    Still: The digest is good.

  17. @Mike P: Lord Foom is roughly human-sized and coherent here, so yes. “Fin Fang 4 version”. Especially if he’s still working as a chef in this story. (Is he? I can’t remember.)

  18. I just bought and read the Fin Fang Four one-shot today, and I KNEW the Christmas story in there rang a bell.

    Chris, you NEED to read this. It’s all by Scott Gray and Roger Langridge, and it’s quite possibly the funniest thing Marvel’s ever produced. Plus, it’s got the Hypno-Hustler in it.