31 thoughts on “Dear Archie Comics

  1. Emo deserves to have its definition spelled out for America by Archie Comics. This should be a cover for Rolling Stone. Please go after ICP next. Jughead as a juggalo would make for a great Halloween special.

  2. The nice thing about Archie comics is that they’re timeless.

    As for Archie’s stunned look, I think he’s just being emotional.

  3. I’m sorry, did you just say this comic had a Goth Betty?

    This information is doing strange things to me…I must ponder.

  4. Do they also include a scene where Veronica gets collagen injections for her lips?

    Her face there is moving into wombat territory…!

  5. Oh my dear, simple Archie–bless every last one of your fickle ginger hairs–were Superman not the defender of all fiction I would leap into the comic, stroll down Riverdale’s pristine streets and beat your be-freckled face in for polluting your previously polite and pristine pages with such a disgraceful “do” and the latest in a long line of Tim Burton-inspired variations of the douche bag uniform (of which the faux hawk is also an ensemble piece).

    Yet the more I resist this abomination a la mode, the more I want to purchase this comic (though that probaly has more to do with the anticipation of seeing “Betty the Goth”–a premise I find irresistibly intriguing).

    Chris Sims, you magnificent bastard! Your on the Archie Comics payroll, aren’t you?! This purchase-inspiring disdain could only be the result of a weaponized form of hypnotic reverse psychology cooked up in the lair of a marketing mastermind! God help you, and every last one of your hypothetical future children!

  6. It is SO good to know that some comics do
    not ever really change with the times. Especially since every other comics seems to feel it needs to be so serious and real,

    If I want reality, I will just look around at the usual stupidity and vice I am mired in every day. No thank you.

  7. ‘But you still don’t look happy, Goth-Betty!’ Thought that was the point!

    Anyway, this REALLY reminds me of the time Jughead went punk, and told Archie about the crazy new dance that the punk scene had, called “The Slam.”

  8. Dear Archie Comics;

    I would not only read, but subscribe to the continuing adventures of Goth Betty and Vampronica, as would many others if this comment section is any indication. So if you enjoy money like I know you do, please release a new monthly as soon as possible.



    Goth Archie looks a little too Flashdance. There’s no need to include him in the new series.

  9. The Gothic Archies are an actual band – they’re a Stephen Merrit (Magnetic Fields) side project that’s worked with Neil Gaiman on stuff like Coraline
    also, i wish people would leave emo kids alone

  10. I can’t believe people are getting worked up over Goth Betty and Emo Archie, and ignoring the fact that this issue also contained Cosplay Veronica.

  11. I can’t believe people are getting worked up over Goth Betty and Emo Archie, and ignoring the fact that this issue also contained Cosplay Veronica.

    So Archie Comics, in a bold new marketing direction, is catering exclusively to internet weirdos?

  12. Trevor, you say that as if that hasn’t been their target market for years. I know when I worked in comics retail over 50% of our Archie customers were adult men who only bought Archie comics and porn.

  13. I’m not saying there hasn’t always been a “secret” audience for the books, Dorian, but you have to admit that the objective has never felt so precise, so niche. When they include cosplay and goth in the same issue, you can tell they’re doing their best to pique the interest of a certain specific kind of creepo that dwells only in the darkest pits of 4chan.