Friday Night Fights: Bad Boy Rumble!

“Hey You… Get your damn hands off Veronica!”







Bahlactus’s prediction: Pain.


Tonight’s brutality courtesy of Betty and Veronica Double Digest #153, featuring the “dynamic new look” for Archie’s favorite girlfriends. Also featured: hardcore Riverdalean beatdowns.

16 thoughts on “Friday Night Fights: Bad Boy Rumble!

  1. Actually, the other dude has nipples. Archie is hiding his nipples like a gentleman. But any nipples is a big step up!

  2. Archie’s in training for when the Punisher comes back to Riverdale.

    What’s next, Jughead facekicking a polar bear?

  3. Despite the new artistic style, Archie remains fraught with an Ibsen-like dichotomy. Brutal enough to beat a man into unconsciousness, but modest enough to keep a shirt on while doing so.

  4. wait, breadbasket?

    im still totally lost as to what part of the anatomy this is, really. i was under the impression, most of the time, that this was the face. is this just some random thing people scream during fights without any reasoning whatsoever, or is there acutually a “breadbasket” to be hit?

    surely chris, one of your many books on the art of fighting has an anatomical study with these answers, yes? it should be next to the diagram of the vital spots of bears.

  5. The breadbasket is located in the heartland of America and is known for producing much of the nation’s grain and…

    …oh, wait, no.

  6. bread·bas·ket [bred-bas-kit, -bah-skit] –noun

    1. a basket or similar container for bread or rolls.
    2. an agricultural area that provides large amounts of food, esp. grain, to other areas.
    3. Slang. a person’s stomach or abdomen.

    Oddly drawn Betty Cooper trumps your knowledge of human anatomy slang terms.

  7. Archie indeed played a smart fight enroute to his victory. Despite having the reach advantage, his shirtless opponent was naively headhunting and leaving his stomach unprotected. Archie came in with a simple startegy of changing levels to avoid the headshots to push into the chest and work the body. Overtime this strategy paid off as his opponent was baited to expect another body shot, anticipating it by dropping his hands. It was during this when Archie deftly shot a quick left body hook to fake and setup into his final right straight to end the fight.

  8. Apparently, there’s ‘roids in the water of Riverdale. I don’t recall people being that ripped in high school.

  9. Nick St. Clair?

    Isn’t he one of those pretty-boy vampires from Anita Blake?

    Wow… Archie is the new Blade!!