Friday Night Fights: Without Honor or Humanity

And now, we return to the frivolity. Of course, around here, “frivolity” means “grievous head injuries.”

What? That’s the most fun of all! Just ask Bahlactus!






No one kicks asses like girls who wear glasses–so say Larry Hama and Mark Bright in the pages of GI JOE #94!

32 thoughts on “Friday Night Fights: Without Honor or Humanity

  1. Baroness is going off on a motherfucker like that, with a gat that’s pointed at her ass. She better give it up smooth, for there ain’t no tellin’ when Baroness is down for a jack move.

  2. To avoid complications
    She never kept the same address
    In conversation
    She spoke just like a baroness

    She’s a Killer Queen
    Gunpowder, Gelatine
    Dynamite with a laser beam
    Guaranteed to blow your mind

  3. If I recall correctly, Scarlett was shot at an angle, such that the bullet penetrated the skull but did negligible damage to the brain itself.

  4. Why did Baroness hate Scarlett so much? I know why she hated Snake-Eyes. Because she falsely believed him to be responsible for her brother’s death in Vietnam. Up until Destro proved Snake-Eyes innocence. Happily that came after Stormshadow kills some Cobra guys who look like the 3 Stooges…

  5. You know, it’s weird now that I think of it, but I actually know two people who’ve been shot in the head and survived. No ninja killing required, even.

  6. But..but how will I ever know what you thought of Matt Fraction and Beta Ray Bill!?

  7. About 12 inches away with a .45, and you only manage to do negligable damage? Man, somebody needs to go to remedial villian camp.

    …and Haerandir? You know *two* people who have been shot in the head? That does it, I getting a restraining order to keep you at least half a continent away from me…

  8. This issue was the only issue of a GI Joe comic that I ever read. I thought they had killed Scarlett, so I was “fuck that shit”, and never picked up another one. And now I find out 20 years later that Scarlett survived and that I hated on the comics for nothing. Woe.

  9. First Last: you really have to ask what Chris Sims thought of a book written by Matt Fraction featuring Thor and Beta Ray Bill fighting Skrulls? Is this your first time at the ISB?

  10. A comic with Beta Ray Bill and Thor fighting Skrulls? By Matt Fraction

    Add Rom, Spaceknight, and that might be a perfect comic.

  11. Does this really count as a “fight”? It’s one person shooting another.

  12. a lemur:

    ALL of cobra needs to go to a remedial villaining course.

    My favorite COBRA plot of all time:

    Have Storm Shadow shrink all of cobra on christmas eve (via shrink ray), sneak into the Joes’ HQ, and then INTENTIONALLY WAKE UP ALL THE SLEEPING JOES, AND HAVE A BIG FIREFIGHT IN THE YARD.


    At seven years old, even I knew I was a better terrorist leader than cobra commander.

  13. Hey, have you ever tried to carve your face on the moon with a laser?

    If not, then you cxan’t claim superiority.

  14. Hold up. Cobra Commander, the guy who’s whole schtick is he wears a mask all the time, tried to use a laser to carve his face on the moon?

  15. When he finally took the mask off, didn’t he turn out to be one of the guys from Foghat?

  16. I know it should be a foregone conclusion that Sims will love Matt Fraction writing about Beta Ray Bill but I like to see my sentiments seconded, I am weak willed and easily influenced.

  17. I loved it, naturally, although I will say that my favorite comic this week was Batman. “RIP” is turning out to be the craziest damn Batman story I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen this.

  18. There’s no doubt whatsoever in my mind that Baroness is a lesbian.

    Come to think of it, she does resemble a grown-up Marcie from the Charlie Brown comics…

    We can only wonder what ever became of Peppermint Patty.

  19. One of the things I loved about the art in G.I. JOE – presumably Mark Bright’s art but back then it was just “the art in G.I. JOE” – was the ridiculously oversized muzzle flashes that would engulf half the gun barrel. Or in this case, HER WHOLE FREAKIN’ HAND.