This weekend, my job sent me to see Immortals, Tarsam Singh’s reboot of the long-neglected Theseus franchise, presumably because it had Superman, Whiplash and Deacon Frost in it. It was visually compelling but not very good, full of unintentional slapstick and a story that constantly reminded you that you were watching the least entertaining parts of the story.

But it wasn’t Jack and Jill, so I dodged a bullet there. Whew.