Romance Special: My (Allegedly) Funny Valentines 2008

It’s finally here!

That’s right, friends, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and assuming you’ve been following the example set by Jimmy Olsen, you’ve probably found yourself in the company of either your one true soul-mate or a horrible monster of a stewardess. In either case, the only thing you need now is a way to truly express your feelings, and when it comes to strong emotions, that can be a difficult task.

And that’s where I come in! Instead of giving your significant other an expensive, store-bought card this year, why not leave it up to me and my keen sense of ahhhhhhROMANCE by using one of this year’s offerings from the ISB, designed to make your Vamlumtimes the best of times!

Feel free to print ’em out:






And finally, because I am indeed the worst person alive…



Happy Valentine’s Day, Everybody!


You can find the source material for tonight’s Valentines in the pages of Cromartie High School, Grant Morrison’s Doom Patrol, I Shall Destroy All the Civilized Planets, and of course, The Death of Gwen Stacy.

For more Valentines, check out the other installments in a fine ISB tradition:

My (Allegedly) Funny Valentines 2006
My (Allegedly) Funny Valentines 2006: Horror Edition
My (Allegedly) Funny Valentines 2007


Special thanks to Mark Hale.

32 thoughts on “Romance Special: My (Allegedly) Funny Valentines 2008

  1. I wouldn’t say you’re the worst person alive. The customer who wrote me an email in lolcat-speak to make a serious inquiry about our company? He’s worse.

  2. Oh, SNAP! That’s funny. Happy V-D to you Chris and I wish you much monkey love this holiday.

  3. I’m now linking the Gwen Stacy one to everyone I know and wishing them a happy Valentine’s day.

    Because I am a bad person, and you are my enabler.

  4. Gorilla My Dreams? Worst pun in world history and a damn fine all girl band in Bristol (England)in the 80s!

  5. Monsieur Mallah & The Brain never appeared in an episode of Love, American Style.

    But they should have.

  6. Oh, man.

    Well, I may be another of the worst people alive, because I love the Gwen Stacy valentine to no end.

    Also, the Brain/Mallah one.

  7. oh lord– as I was scrolling down the screen happened to cut off just below the words “I’m falling”. As I was reaching for the spacebar, I thought, “He wouldn’t, would he?”

    He did!

  8. Nah, if Sims were really sick, he’d give us one Gwen Stacy getting hot and sweaty with Norman Osborn…”Thinking Of You (While I Bone Your Worst Enemy!!)”.

    Good thing nobody’s that nasty…

  9. Actually, I think the Gorilla pun is worse than Gwen Stacy.

    Speaking of which, PLEASE say you picked up Salvation Run #4, Chris.

  10. Great, now Stardust the Wonder Wizard has ruined Valentine’s too. That is not a “little head.” It is, in fact, an freakishly enormous bobble-quality head, attached to little legs – and NOTHING ELSE. Dude has two legs for a neck. Either that, or it’s a Mardi Gras costume and there’s a Lilliputian under all of that face. Either way, it’s nightmare fuel – after which the Gwen Stacy panel is actually something of a relief.

    Well played, Chris Sims.

  11. I just had to steal, er, I mean borrow, the Mallah and Brain Valentine. It’s just too, too perfect.

    I TOTALLY gave you credit, though.

    Happy Valentine’s Day!