As anyone who’s ever picked up a comic book where someone is actually a skeleton knows, the border between the mortal world and the supernatural is at its thinnest on Halloween. So if you’re out this weekend at around, say, twelve o’clock–The Witching Hour–and find yourself faced with creatures out to terrorize y’all’s neighborhood, don’t panic! The ISB is here to offer simple safety tips from your pals in the Justice League.
Just follow the example of one of the following heroes, and you’ll be sure to have a frighteningly safe Spooktoberfest:
When faced with a supernatural enemy, try to figure out its natural weakness! For example, many evil creatures cannot stand the light:
Thus, simply use your phenomenal powers of Super-Glass-Blowing and Super-Tungsten-Filament-Crafting to make a gigantic light bulb and scare the monsters away.
Batman Says:
HIT IT UNTIL IT DIES.
More tips for safe living, including what to do when you need to fake your death and get your friend to pretend to be your ghost for a few days, can be found in Showcase Presents World’s Finest v.2
Green Arrow says: use an arrow of some kind!
So Batman’s no-kill code doesn’t extend to crystal monstrosities?
I swear the artists on the Batman comics of this time must have had a standard “Robin in corner panel looking shocked” piece they’d just paste in as needed.
Hey, MGK. What the heck happened with your site?
How many writers could get away with Superman and a giant light bulb these days? I’m thinking Morrison, but he seems like an obvious pick.
So that’s why my electrical bills are so damn high!
Hawkman says:
I gotta agree with Batman on this one.
Did DC heroes ever get to fight Dracula? Or did they wait to long so he left to be bad-ass over at Marvel?
there’s the AWFUL Red Rain trilogy, where Batman becomes a vampire… I’m pretty sure Dracula is in those… but I’m not 100% sure, and I refuse to reread them.
Dracula is in the first part, but absent from the second and third.
If comic fans are “truly” lucky, Marvel will get the license to adapt the Twilight books, and then they can do Anita Blake/Twilight crossovers.
..
“Hit it until it dies.”
Isn’t this essentially our strategic doctrine in Iraq?
From a comic?
Spooky.
..
Is Batman flipping off that exploding crystal monstrosity?
On the subject of one of those things I probably shouldn’t think about…
How did Superman get out of the giant lightbulb after he assembled it from the inside?
You’re right, you shouldn’t think about it. But if you look carefully at the first panel, you’ll notice Supes hasn’t attached the glass to the light bulb base, yet and there’s a big gap.
A better question would be: why did Superman make the base with a screw-top electrical connector? Was he planning on making a giant lamp with matching socket to use the giant bulb on, after he’d used it to destroy the monster?
ALSO, did you miss out a panel when he drew out all the air from the bulb before affixing the base?
@scott i…i think he is. talk about insult to injury. beautiful.
I recommend the 1957 SF film The Monolith Monsters. Batman’s tactic not only would not have stopped those alien creatures, it would have only made the problem worse.
And don’t get them wet, either. Yep, before Gremlins.
Marvel Twilight? Would these be pre-glittered or do we get to glue on our own?
I don’t think Batman had a plan at all in that panel. He just chucks Batarangs as a reflex, and he was trying to cover up why he threw it to Robin when it ended up killing the creature instead of just jamming a gun or pinning a thug’s clothes to something.
I like the batarang reflex answer. I’m now imagining Batman responding to everything with a hurled batarang:
(Alfred walks up behind Batman, busy working at the Batcomputer)
Alfred: What would you like for lunch, sir?
(Batman spins and hits Alfred between the eyes with a batarang.)
Just wondering though, how does Batman deal with something supernatural that’s intangible? Anti-Ghost sprays or something like that?
Just wondering though, how does Batman deal with something supernatural that’s intangible?
He hits it until it dies, as was previously discussed.
And to head off your next question: Because he’s Batman.
Well, you left out the fact that he’d already have an intricate, fool proof plan to deal with any intangible, supernatural threat, due to his meticulous strategic mind (and some really slow Saturday nights in the Gotham). Although, come to think of it, that is implied in “Because he’s Batman.” You can cover a lot of bases with that.
You know where you are when the easiest way to produce an intense light source is to build a giant goddamn light bulb?
You’re in the Silver Age.
Offhand, I have to think a giant bazillion watt light bulb would chase just about any thing off, creature of darkness or not.
Assuming it doesn’t, you know, blind then melt you first.
“You know where you are when the easiest way to produce an intense light source is to build a giant goddamn light bulb?”
And not a properly bright bulb like a sodium halide bulb, but a tungsten bulb, whose filament would melt if you heated it that much.
Yes, Batman has a plan for everything. He has a Special Mummy Raygun, remember?
http://seanbaby.com/hostess/v2batman01.htm
Correction:
That ray gun is Robin’s. he says “MY special mummy ray gun”, after all.
…which probably explains why it doesn’t work. A ray gun built by Batman would have vaporized that mummy, no problem.
So Batman’s no-kill policy really only applies to things that can talk to him, and barring that, look like a human being?
What if that crystal monstrosity was taking its mate and offspring to a show, Batman, and you just came along and shattered it with your batarang? What then? I’ll tell you what happens then: that crystal monstrosity’s offspring will eventually put on a costume and fight for justice, crystal monstrosity-style.
Remember, this is “early Batman”. He hadn’t given up batarangs for car batteries.