The Batchuk Contest: And The Winner Is…

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Last Sunday, I asked the readers of the ISB to take their shots at drawing Batman using unconventional nunchuks, and I’ve gotta say: You guys really came through on this one, and I can honestly say that there wasn’t a single entry that didn’t make me laugh.

So let’s see what Batman’s pulling out to fight crime tonight!

 

The very first entry from NickT set the standard that everyone else had to live up to:

 

Nunchuks Made of Batman’s Dead Parents

 

Hey, thedarkbackward draws a lot like Matt Wagner! Somebody get this guy a miniseries!

 

Nunchuks Made of Frankenstein’s Monster

 

Pj Perez brought us the first in a sub-genre that can only be called “Sidechuks.”

 

Nunchuks Made of Robins

 

The rain on Chris’s chest is a salt-water baptism…

 

Nunchuks Made of Sharks… IN THE FUTURE

 

Kilmoonie knows that the most devastating weapon is brutal Internet handsomeness.

 

Nunchuks Made of Chris Sims

 

Jamie goes the extra mile to bring us…

 

Nunchuks Made of the Punisher

 

I knew there was a reason they called Just Some Guy “Mr. Action!”

 

Nunchuks Made of Jimmy Olsen
(Check here for a full explanation and a larger version)

 

Falcon7 goes back to Gotham by Gaslight to bring us this beautiful bit of destruction:

 

Nunchuks Made of 19th Century Street Urchins

 

Earlofthercs crafted a sigil to tap into the collective unconscious of the fictionverse, but when that didn’t work out, he drew this:

 

Nunchuks Made of Grant Morrison

 

The 52 worlds of the DC Universe are as a child’s plaything to Dave!

 

Nunchuks Made of Batmen

 

Psychofish knows that the quickest way to a man’s heart is through Jim Aparo.

 

Nunchuks Made of Mjolnir and Stormbreaker

 

Brian Smith gives us something that I can only describe as “inexplicable and hilarious.”

 

Nunchuks Made of That “Cliff Hangers” Guy From The Price Is Right
(AKA Yodelchuks)

 

Bryan Boles has next summer’s zombie-themed event comic RIGHT HERE!

 

Nunchuks Made of Brian Michael Bendis an Robert Kirkman

 

Tim C did a sequential piece that is just… Just… I mean freakin’ look at it!

 

Nunchuks Made of Monkeys That Are On Fire

 

Jacob Z. Clinton‘s entry is probably the most metal thing I’ve seen today. And I saw Slayer fight Manowar with broadswords.

 

Nunchuks Made of Narwhals Who Are Immune To The Omega Effect

 

It’s like andrewg2442 reached into my head and pulled out my most wonderful dream.

 

Nunchuks Made of Bears With Chainsaws

 

Mitch presents a martial art 65 million years in the making.

 

Nunchuks Made of Tyrannosaurus Rexes, One of Which Appears To Be In a Gang (or Breakdance Crew)

 

Ninjaink can smell their fear… and it is sweet.

 

Nunchuks Made of Chainsaws

 

DouglasG is all about keeping things in scale.

 

Nunchuks Made of Godzilla and Mechagodzilla

 

Sean Whitmore‘s entry isn’t really nunchuks, but come on: we’re not really dealing with the standard definition at this point.

 

Nunchuks Made of Batman’s Own Dislocated Arms

 

Heimdall deserves his own case in the Batcave.

 

Nunchuks Made of Sidekicks

 

Schujo has two words for you: “Ka” and “boom.”

 

Nunchuks made of Dynamite

 

And now, a few that I got via email:

Moises Tavera created a strange world in which The Dark Knight was even more awesome than it was:

 

Nunchuks Made of Movie-Sharks

 

Friend of the ISB Richelle Mead has a fun activity that you can do at home!

 

Nunchuks Made of Smash-Hit Urban Fantasy Novels

 

Paul Milne is now on my Christmas Card list forever.

 

Nunchuks Made of MODOK and MODAM

 

Michael Noonan sent me what is unquestionably the strangest entry I’ve ever gotten:

 


(Click for full-size)

Nunchuks Made of Chris Sims That Are Used To Defeat Tarot, Orca the Whale Woman, the Joker and Dave’s Long Box While Herbie and Rachelle Goguen Look On

 

Caleb Mozzocco gives us a triptych of awesome:

 


(Click for full-size)

Nunchuks Made of The Punisher, Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter: Guilty Pleasures, and Batman

 

And finally…

Philip Oldham is In It To Win It!

 

Nunchuks Made of Missy and Torrance, The Rancho Carne Toros Cheerleaders From Bring It On

 

I don’t think I’m exaggerating here when I say that with entries like that, this is quite possibly the greatest contest in the history of contests, and considering that I got somebody to draw Batman using nunchuks made of MODOKs who also have their own nunchuks, I think I could retire from this whole internet thing tomorrow and be perfectly happy with that. Everyone who contributed was absolutely fantastic. You’ve made the world more awesome, and you should all be proud.

But, this is a contest, and that means that there can be only one winner, and that (dubious) honor can only go to one entry.

Because when you get right down to it, this entire thing was based on Batman using nunchuks made of sharks, and there’s only one thing that could possibly beat those:

 

NUNCHUKS MADE OF ANTI-SHARK REPELLENT BAT-SPRAY
by CornFedCannibal

 

Congratulations, CFC! You’ve won yourself an autographed copy of Teenagers From the Future, featuring an all new essay by me on the inherent teenage cruelty of the Legion Constitution, a copy of Batman Chronicles v.1, wherein Golden Age Batman hits people with other people a lot, and whatever else I happen to scrounge up before it’s time to mail out the prize.

Thanks, everybody! And really… No OMACHUKS?

 

Note: I’ve been through my email and the comments of the original post twice each, but if I happened to miss anybody, please shoot me an email to let me know.

52 thoughts on “The Batchuk Contest: And The Winner Is…”

  2. Richelle Mead is made of awesome, as are those books. I shall immediately make nunchucks out of mine.

  6. Yeah, all I could come up with was Batman with nunchucks made of other Batmen, and I (correctly) assumed that more talented people than me would also think of that.

    I suppose I could have gone the opposite way. Batman could have had nunchucks made of wood! Or steel! Or Shaq as Steel.

  7. I honestly laughed the most at Dead Parents. You really can’t argue that Dead Parents = Pure Comedy Gold.

    Godzillas were my second favorite.

  9. Well, I wish i could have gotten to a scanner this week, my entry was going to be two sets of nunchuks made out of Jason Todd. Like… segmented bits of ONE Jason Todd. but after looking at the other entries… they’re better.

  11. they’re all fantastic.

    for me, it was between

    1) dead parent nunchuks
    2) flaming monkey nunchuks (I mean…LOOK at them!)
    3) batman using his own dislocated arms. i lol’d hard at that one.

  13. Well-deserved win, CFC! And every one of these rocks on one or more levels! Whether it’s the yodelchuks (which still make me laugh), the instinctual understanding that narwhals, being the magical babies of dolphins and unicorns, would naturally be immune to the Omega Effect, the four-killing-machine-in-one combo of Batman with nunchuks made of grizzlies with chainsaws, or the Jim-Lee-meets-Chuck-Jones setup of the TNT-chuks, these are all awesome!

    Mitch, I don’t know what you do when you’re not kicking ass in nunchuk-drawing contests, but those dinosaurs are really cute. You should see if there’s a kid’s book in there somewhere.

  16. Wow, I shouldn’t have read this post so soon in the morning, ’cause now my day is over.
    I mean I know nothing is going to top this.
    Back to bed.

  17. In the one with the flaming monkey chuks (which is brilliant by the way)… um, is that Deathstroke attacking Batman with shuriken made of George W. Bush??

    I think we have a whole new contest there.

  18. As an old school reader, I appreciated that the winning entry was based on the Adam West Batman, complete with Whit-Out eyebrows and dazed expression. That fits the absurdity of shark-repellant nunchuks.

    But the dead parents entry was pretty awesome as well.

  19. Congrats on the win CFC! And a well deserved victory it was.

    Again, absolutely the best contest ever and I was honored to be a part of it. I can’t wait to see what you do to top it Chris.

    Tim C, thank you very much for the kind words. If I’m never known for anything else, I’ll die happy knowing that it was my ability to badly draw cute dinosaurs that made my mark on the internet. What else could a guy ask for?

  20. Holy hell, I need to check back here more often…I leave The Isb for a week or so and miss an Unconventional Nunchuk Contest?

    Oh the humanity…

  21. That was a great contest! Love the sidechucks. Now that I think of it I should have made some out of Converse sneakers so he could use his Chuck-Chucks.

  23. Most excellent all round, but I’d have to give it on faultless execution and fantastic expressions to the 19th century nurchinchuks. Top marks.

  25. Well played, CornFedCannibal! All of these were pretty awesome.

    Ninjaink, I had considered doing just chainsaws but was not able to make mine look as badass as yours. Good job!

    Looking forward to the next contest already.

    -Andrew

  27. i have to agree with a couple other ppl here that the dead parents one was funniest. maybe we’re just sick bastards.

    also the batmen chucks were friggin brilliant! what could be more bad-ass? one of those things you see and slap yourself on the forehead and shout “of fuggin course”

  28. See, I actually thought about something Omac related, but whole “ONE” man Army Corp thing wouldn’t let me logical side go through with it.

    Congrats to the winner and to everyone that entered. It was a lot of fun.

  29. I have to admit, the best entry won!

    Also: “Punchucks”. They brought out big laughs during a saturday night of tequila quaffing.

    Man, this was a good competition.

  31. Kudos to the winner — the penciled version was very cool, but the colored version is spectacular!

    And thanks to everyone who had kind words about the yodelchuks! I’m just honored to be in the middle of so much awesomeness.

    If I can add two more nunchuks to the “What might have been” category — my very first thought was Pac-Manchuks, but I realized pretty quickly that I’d either be ripping off Chip Zdarsky’s Eat Guy, or I’d be bogged down in video game logic (i.e., would Pac-Manchuks need to power up before taking on the Gentleman Ghost?)

    And when I told my best friend on Tuesday about the contest and some of the entries, he said, “I should draw Batman with nunchuks made out of Nighthawk and Moon Knight.” He never did, but man, I’d still like to see that.

  32. I also had misgivings about OMAC. I mean, is even Batman worthy? Plus, two OMACs would mean two Brother Eyes, and since Brother Eye can only be harmed by a machine of equal or greater size, the potential for conflict there was too great…

    Then I decided to just have Batman hitting Iron Grenadiers Destro with nunchuks made of Arctic Trooper Snake-Eyes who’s wearing the weasel skull necklace he got off the Mighty Kwinn when he was shot in the back by Dr. Venom…

    Then I took a long, hard look at my life and decided to just do monkeys.

  33. Yes a very well deserved winner the greatest ever competition (no question about it).

    Thanks so much Sims for hosting such a visual/mental/spiritual feast! And, gotta say, you still came up with the goods yourself (not just with the initial lego-idea) but with the your trade-mark Alt-text comments; you still managed to make our funnies funnier and I (we? can I do that?) salute you.

  34. I Think that the MODOK-chucks with their own nunchucks is fantastic. I also liked the touch in the movie shark-chucks, where the Joker was holding a clownfish.

    I am surprisd, though. No Chuck Norris? Chuck-chucks would have kicked ass.

  35. I may be wrong, but I believe the nunchuks in questions are made of shark nunchuk repellent, not shark repellent.

  36. yeah they’re shark nunchuk repellent…nunchuks just because you Adam West Batman was always prepared for anything :)

    You know on the subject of OMACchuks, I am so tempted to do one in kirby style complete with dueling “Build-A-Friend” chuks. Y’know the thing OMAC throws on the cover of #1 which has disturbed me for 32 years.

  38. I can’t beleive that I didn’t think of anti-shark repellent shark spray. It’s both obvious and genius. Oh well, at least I got to draw Batman and cheerleaders in the same pic.

  41. It’s a good thing I didn’t have time to draw anything because I would have totally messed it up. (Also my drawing isn’t very good.) I thought it was just general Batman-style weapons, not nunchucks specifically. I was going to have him training Robin in the art of the chainsaw-tipped bostaff. I would have been disqualified. And probably fed to sharks.

    Good entries here, though. And tough call, as I’m not sure I could have made a decision on a winner.

  43. Damn it! I was going to put forth Pikachuks, or Charles Barkley-Chuks, or even Okami Chuks. But I just couldn’t do it.

  44. After following your site for a year, I have finally been drawn out of lurk-mode to make an actual comment.

    This has been the most entertaining week your site and commentary have ever produced. Congratulations to you and everyone involved in making a 22-year old student from Liverpool laugh until he developed a headache.

    -Thor

  45. Killer entries all around. Gotta say, though: ROMchucks? Brilliant, TeamSmithy.

    (Seeing CFC’s final, I may have to overhaul my half-assed batterychucks sketch.)

    (Yeah, that’ll happen…)

  46. The flaming-monkey-chucks is brain-meltingly awesome. Just the look on Deathstroke’s face in panel 5 is worth the price of internet access all by itself. I can see his train of thought, ‘Ok, monkey-chucks. Batman’s got monkey-chucks. I can deal with that, I mean, I’ve got a sword, how bad canOH MY GOD HE SET THEM ON FIRE.’

  49. I am in awe. This is perhaps the single most concentrated collection of awesome EVER.

    Special shout-out to the Narwhal Nunchuks. I’m not worthy to declare a best, but that gave the biggest laugh.

  50. I wish I’d known about this contest earlier, if only so I could’ve made an attempt at drawing Dalekchuks.

    Though I can see it wouldn’t have beaten either yodelchuks or sharkchuk-repellent-chuks.