35 thoughts on “The Battle of the Century!

  1. There is no such thing as too old for Lego.

    At least, the old school Lego, where you actually had versatile bricks and could make a castle with wheels and a laser turret. Not like this new-fangled stuff, all shaped ‘special’ pieces and fancy themes. In my day if we wanted to build a wall we did it piece by piece. And we didn’t have shoes in those days. We used to wrap our feet in the flayed skins of our enemies so we could walk to school. Ten miles. Through zombie territory. Uphill. Both ways. And we didn’t even have pirate Lego back then. Of course, this was before you whipper-snappers had those talking pictures with Johnny Depp in them.

    Man, I miss my Lego.

  2. I still have two gigantic boxes of space legos in my parents’ house.

    Someday my children will love me for this.

  3. You know… I’ve been reading this blog for about a year or so now and I gotta say that this is probably THE BEST FRICKIN’ POST YET!

    It’s rating a RAD on the AWESOMETER

  4. Hey, waitaminutehere, I can see Shaq’s wire…er brick? What’re you tryin’ to pull here, Sims?

  5. You are not seeing a brick attached to Shaq. What you are seeing is the Lego Speed-lines. Lego SHaq is moving so fast he is leaving small afterimages of his Lego Shaq shoes behind him.

    Don’t doubt the awesomeness of Lego Shaq.

  6. I think it is fair to say I enjoyed this.

    Can we now have a ludicrous transatlantic battle about the plural of ‘Lego’ being either ‘Legos’ or just ‘Lego’?

    No? Okay.

  7. Pure fricking gold!!! Even the alt-texts are amazed!!!

    On a related note, I just finished Lego Indiana Jones! Can’t wait for Lego Batman next month!

  8. Actually, it seems there are no alt-texts at all. Chris was too busy playing with his Legos.

    And really, I can’t blame him for that.

  9. @Thrilltone

    Actually, as seen in the above photos, the plural of “Lego” is “awesome.”

  10. Sometimes alt-text would just be gilding the lily. I await with baited breath “Secret Invasion in 30 Seconds (The Lego Experience)!!!”

  11. Oh sure, on land. Home court advantage! Let’s see Shaq try that under water. Or is he walking/standing/fighting on water? Because that means Shaq is a whole lot more powerful than I ever imagined.

  12. I agree! A rematch in the water!

    (Got directed here by a friend, btw. This is so awesome. It was a great way to start the morning. :D )

  13. When evening came, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. Shaq saw the Lakers straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night he went out to them, walking on the lake. He was about to pass by them, but when they saw him walking on the lake, they thought he was a ghost. They cried out, because they all saw him and were terrified.

    Immediately he spoke to them and said, “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.” Then he climbed into the boat with them, and the wind died down. They were completely amazed, for they had not understood about the dunks; their hearts were hardened.

    Well why did you think they were called the Lakers?

  14. Utterly brilliant, Chris. Your Lego-Fumetti-fu is strong. And the verses from the Book of Shaq make it a solid slam dunk.

  15. That range actually showed up at Toys’r’us last week. I was working in that section today. I can’t believe I didn’t notice that one of the sets had sharks with lasers on their backs.

    Just when I thought they hit their peak with the Lego Raiders of the Lost Ark Nazi Truck Chase playset, they go and pull off something like this.

  16. “What have I done?”

    You done good, Chris. Shaq Attack — He’s Got Your Back.

  17. nightfly Says:

    Actually, it seems there are no alt-texts at all. Chris was too busy playing with his Legos.

    And really, I can’t blame him for that.

    Look, some scenes need alt text and some scenes DON’T NEED NO FUCKING ALT TEXT.

    Greatest omission of alt text ever or GREATEST omission of alt text ever?

  18. I’m pretty sure Shaq won predominantly due to his name ending in a Q. If the sharks had gotten street, each becoming a Sharq – I’m pretty sure they would’ve won.

    For additional proof of Q power, please consult that smarmy guy from ST:TNG, or a bottle of NyQuil. (It’s capital ‘Q’ for a reason.)

  19. But if the sharks got their lasers then it’d be only fair that Shaq would get his Steel gear (true fact- even though the movie was horrible, that armour is fully operational, but only when warn by Shag himself.), so, even though that might make walking on water harder, it’d still be Shaq for the win. He’d hammer em.

  20. I think Lego Shaq could beat Lego lasersharks even with lasers, but more importantly, if he had some sort of disco-ball or other mirrored sphere that he could use as a combination basketball and laser deflection shield, he would not only win, but it would cause people all across the internet to go into seizures of pure radness from which they would never recover. So Lego Shaq should never do that…never ever…nope…

  21. As a Celtics fan, I was rooting for the sharks since Lego Shaq is wearing his Lakers uniform.

    Now sharks vs. Lego Paul Pierce would be a different story.

  22. Scene: Lego Paul Pierce in fiecre battle with Lego Sharqs. As Lego Sharqs start to overtake him, LPP fiegns a Lego Knee-o injury. Cue Lego trainers with Lego Stretcher to haul the writhing LPP to the Lego Locker Room when suddenly he superhumanly leaps up to overpower the LS as he flashes his Lego Crips sign. The drunken, green clad Lego Crowd hail him as the new Lego God. End Scene.

  23. Say what you will about Shaq-Fu, and I will, the animation in that game was gorgeous.

    Well, late-90s gorgeous. But there you go.

  24. Absolute b.s.

    No effin’ way is he handlin’ ONE shark, let alone two. Those musta been guppies.