The Comic Book Characters We Do (And Don’t) Want To Party With



Today at ComicsAlliance, I’m gearing up for St. Pat’s by figuring out which super-heroes I want to party with, and which ones get their invite “lost in the mail.”

Shockingly, most of the characters that were driven by personal tragedy to fight criminals don’t seem like they’d be that much fun to celebrate with. There are a few that would make for a pretty good time, though, and while he didn’t make the final cut, I’d totally recommend Firestorm.

Sure, he might be drinking for two…



…but it’s worth it, if only for the giant, disembodied floating head of Martin Stein.

Also, in today’s scintillating second feature, I’ve taken a look at the most amazing advancement in modern weaponry since Bayonetta’s footguns.

14 thoughts on “The Comic Book Characters We Do (And Don’t) Want To Party With

  1. While the double gun is cool, the AA-12 automatic shotgun is still the neatest, in my opinion. From Wikipedia:

    “The AA-12 uses many different types of cartridges such as 00 buck shot, #4 bird shot, 12-bore lead slugs, or less-than-lethal rubber stun batons. It can also fire flares or special FRAG-12 18.5mm fin-stablized HE, HEAP, and sensor fused HEAB “air-burst” fragmentation shells that can detonate in mid-air.”

    The fact that it could fire one of each of those cartridges in less than a second just adds to its neatness. Let me put it another way: if Batman ever fired a gun, it would be this one.

    Actually, since it fires non-lethal ordinance, maybe he does fire this one.

  2. Isn’t Fandrall a bit more like Otter, really?
    (It’s just, I don’t recall Fandrall being all conflicted between partying with his friends and being the only one with a really serious girlfriend, and having to deal with her growing disapproval of his reluctance to grow up.)

  3. Hey, Jamie Madrox, glad you could come. Hold this six-pack of beer and bottle of rum would ya?

    *slap* *slap* *slap* *slap* *slap* *slap* *slap* *slap*


  4. I definitely wouldn’t want to deal with a drunk Jamie Madrox. Or, more specifically, I don’t want to deal with hundreds of drunk Jamie Madroxes.

  5. I wonder who else is on the no-party list?
    Guardians of the Universe(Ganthet’s probably the lone exception)
    Snake-eyes(Pretty much the same reason as Batman)
    Braniac 5
    Judge Dredd
    I’d have to also put the Cuckoo Girls on the no-party list.

  6. I wouldn’t want to party with Spider-Man. Luckily, he’d probably see the Hobgoblin or something outside and have to go fight him. Also, I think Harley Quinn would be a lot of fun at a party. You may wind up dead, yes, but it’d be a fun death.

  7. While I agree that either Power Girl or She-Hulk would be fun to party with, I’m not sure it would be fun if they were at the same party. I suspect they’d both get liquored up and, since they seem to have the same sort of alpha femaie personalities, they might start butting heads, which could lead to a fight (and if Hercules was at the party, he’d definitely encourage it), which would end up with them wrestling furiously in ripped outfits…

    Wait, what the hell am I saying? Send out the invites and make sure the liquor store delivers!

  8. I’m surprised none of you have thought about Ben Grimm. Dude’s nice, has a great sense of humor, and has awesome war stories and tons of jokes. Not to mention the fact that he can (a) load those kegs all by his lonesome (although he’ll drink most of ’em himself by the time the night’s through) and (b) can get rid of annoying party guests.

    Which will invariably be Johnny Storm, who wants to come over and mess with Grimm’s shit.

    Okay, maybe this idea wasn’t so well thought out.

  9. If super-VILLAINS somehow scored an invite (mail theft or somesuch, the dirty gatecrashers), you just know that Doctor Doom would have the greatest pimp chalice in the room. He’d even give Herc’s ornate liquor bucket up there a run for most ostentatious.

  10. No way dude. Doom would be That Guy. The one who won’t stop bragging about how much he drank last weekend, and how many chicks he scored, and how he’s cooler than we are. Whether or not it’s true, he’s obnoxious, he’s loud, and he’s taking up ALL your couch and eating ALL the chips. Also he may or may not have just seduced your girlfriend in the kitchen.

  11. Swamp Thing performs very useful party tricks at John Constantine’s fortieth birthday party.

    Black Canary creates real problems when she’s had a few too many and picks up the karaoke microphone.

    Red Tornado… well, you know.