The Week In Ink: 5-31-07

That ominous rumble of thunder that you may have heard yesterday as you approached your local comic book store? That, my friends, was the sound of a day when Anita Blake, Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose, and Dark Xena all hit the stands at the same time.

I call it… the Perfect Storm.

 

 

Yes, comics may have been delayed this week, and while words can barely capture the abject joy that I felt reading through this week’s stack, the Internet’s Most Mind-Shattering Comics Reviews can wait no longer! Here’s my highly dubious purchases from this week…

 

 

…and these are the even more questionable opinions that led me to those purchases!

 


 

Comics

 

Amazons Attack #2: The second installment of Amazons Attack is nowhere near as jarringly disjointed as the first one, but I was still pretty lost in a few places, and I’m really not sure whose fault that is. I mean, really: you can’t blame Will Pfeifer, whose run on Catwoman continues to be one of the best books DC’s publishing, for writing a footnote-laden story that doesn’t quite make sense if you’re not following the book it spins out of, what with its very nature as a spin-off. If anything, it’s Jodi Picoult’s fault for not appearing to have any discernable idea of what she’s doing on the main title, thus keeping me from reading it. Either way, it’s got its solid, exciting moments (like the Amazons being bad enough to bring down a fighter jet with a bow and arrow), and while it pains my heart to see Pfeifer have the Justice League referring to each other by their first names while they’re out in public, I guess that’s just what those guys do now. I just wish I wasn’t missing half the story.

 

Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter: Guilty Pleasures Handbook #1: Because apparently, there’s a market for a book of in-depth information on characters from a comic book less than a year old, read almost exclusively by people who have also read the twenty-eight part novel series upon which it is based. That’s why.

 

Countdown #48: As those of you who have been paying attention may remember, my policy with Countdown since the first underwhelming issue has been to wait out the first four to give the entire rotation of writers a chance, and while I can already tell that it’s going to be one of those books that’s perpetually on the chopping block, I’m just barely interested enough in it to keep going. At this point, despite what looks like Adam Beechen’s best efforts at dredging up something interesting, it’s succeeding solely on the fact that it’s posing a few interesting questions (like why Jimmy Olsen’s sprouting new super-powers, apparently at random), but it’s severely held back by the fact that the majority of the questions tend to involve characters that I just don’t care about at all, and while 52 did a pretty bang-up job of juggling the multiple storylines (usually by focusing them on different characters in each issue), Countdown just feels jumbled and choppy. Throw in yet another phenomenally boring back-up feature about how the Multiverse works now–because, y’know, we didn’t get enough of that last year with Donna Troy and her floating basketball–and it really just boils down to wanting to know what’s up with Jimmy and the New Gods.

Seriously, though: Perry White?! Is there anybody left who doesn’t know Jason Todd’s secret identity?

 

Daredevil #97: Ah, finally: For those of you wondering if I actually liked new comics anymore, allow me to reassure you with that most soothing balm to today’s discerning comics reader, Ed Brubaker. I generally have nothing but good things to say about Brubaker and Lark’s Daredevil, and this issue’s no exception, seeing as it involves a blind ninja acrobat lawyer fighting a mentally-disabled man who puts on a helmet, straps buzzsaws to his wrists and essentially becomes Master Blaster from Beyond Thunderdome on a rampage. That, my friends, is almost exactly what I want from a comic, and the only reason it doesn’t hit the mark dead on is that you just cannot feasably add a bear to the fight scenes of every comic.

Not yet, anyway. We just don’t have the technology.

 

Dark Xena #2: Words fail me whenever I try to convey my feelings about this, the greatest comic ever produced by the hands of men, but allow me, if you will, to just point out one thing about this issue: Evil Xena–who proves that she’s way more evil than Good Xena by quoting Evil Willow from that one episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer–is rolling around the countryside with her crew, which consists of Big German (?!) Guy, Hot Ninja Girl, and Ted Raimi’s Evil Twin Brother Who Is Also Portrayed By Ted Raimi, which is something I didn’t even know my life had been lacking until today. Truly, a world in which this comic exists is the finest of all possible worlds.

 

ISB BEST OF THE WEEK

 

Hellboy: Darkness Calls #2: I probably mention this every time I talk about my love for Hellboy, but if you grab yourself a copy of the first trade, you’ll probably notice that it’s dedicated to H.P. Lovecraft and Jack Kirby, and in that one quick summary of his influences, Mike Mignola explains the aesthetic that makes Hellboy so great. It’s the conflict between the unfathomable horrors that lurk in darkness–always drawn in shadowed, dim tones–and the bright red stone-handed monster-punching hero, who continues to remain thoroughly unimpressed with the creatures of the night even as they attempt to reveal sinister prophecies about his own destiny.

Prophecies that he interrupts in this issue by telling them, and I quote:

“How ’bout this?
I let you finish your little meeting,
and I won’t shoot anybody
or burn the place down.”

How can you not love a character like that? Short answer: You can’t, and this issue’s Hellboy at his best, with Mignola’s fantastic script and some truly amazing art by Duncan Fegredo, who does a great job of keeping the look of the series consistent with the earlier installments. Simply put, it’s excellent stuff, but really: Nobody needs me to tell them how good Hellboy is.

 

Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose #44: To put it mildly, Tarot is a book that often raises a lot of questions whenever I read it, and this month, I guess the one that springs readily to mind is this: Come on, Jim Balent, are you even really trying anymore?

Of course, the jury’s still out on whether or not Balent’s ever tried, but really: This one opens up with a scene that’s pretty much the exact same sequence as the last issue, but with a different background, as Tarot shows up for a witchity meeting and–finding herself stood up again–decides to go ahead and diddle herself for nine pages, at which time a big angry rock monster shows up to conk her on the head and introduce her to the wonderful world of bondage fetishism. Incidentally, it’s at this time that Tarot takes to referring to her vagina as both an “altar” and a “cauldron,” thus killing any joy that was left over from watching Balent’s difficulty with homophones. Also of note: Tarot’s new friends in this issue, Twizelpix and Twylynn, both of whom manage to make it through the issue naked and nearly pecked to death by crows in what Balent describes as a story that “celebrates women.”

So yeah, Countdown‘s lookin’ a lot better about now.

 

Teen Titans #47: This has been one of those titles that I’ve been buying more out of curiosity as to what’s going to happen next than actual enjoyment since before the One Year Later jump, but I’ve been looking forward to Adam Beechen coming on the title for a few months, especially given his stellar current run on Robin. Sadly, his first issue as solo writer seems full of wasted potential, and even forgiving last month’s ludicrous plot–where Deathstroke apparently got the bright idea that his kids would have a better life if he pretended to try to kill them, in what essentially amounts to Geoff Johns re-using Zoom’s motivation–there’s just not a whole lot here to like. It’s bogged down with tie-ins to Countdown and Amazons Attack, neither of which I particularly care about, and rounded out with a big fight that feels like it was thrown in just to meet a page count, and there’s no real reason to keep buying it unless a new direction hits soon.

 


 

Trades

 

Penny Arcade v.4: Birds Are Weird: Unless it’s your first day on the internet and you decided to see what happened when you typed “vampire batman punching dogs” into Google, you probably don’t need me to draw your attention to the fine comic strips of Penny Arcade. Seriously, though, even if you’ve been holding off on buying the print versions–which is a pretty understandable decision, given the fact that you can read the whole strip for free online–this one’s well worth the purchase. Why? Because for the bonus material, they’ve printed up some of Gabe’s downright Liefeldian Middle School work, when he was creating masterful super-hero work like Psy-Fox and a character that is “essentially Wolverine plus electricity.” I haven’t laughed so hard reading something since… well, since Satan’s Sodomy Baby, but man, it’s funny.

 


 

And that’s the week, and while there’s an awful lot of negativity up there, I guess it’s nice to be reminded that a set of standards that allows for enjoying Tarot can still find fault in… well, anything, really. As always, if you’ve got any questions or concerns about this week’s reviews–like, say, why I bothered to take the extra day when I had such a relatively small amount of comics to review, and whether or not it had anything to do with Super Paper Mario–feel free to leave a comment.

32 thoughts on “The Week In Ink: 5-31-07

  1. Ahh… Paper Mario, the best series Nintendo has ever created. I’ve played through the one for 64 like 50 times, even more delicious every time.

    No Silver Surfer: Requiem? It has the Silver Surfer who stands around and talks about what he’s thinking abo– Oh wait, I’m the only one who likes that.

  2. Hmm. What would you call a team-up of witches named Tarot, Twizelpix and Twylynn? The Alliterative Wiccans of Perpetual Nudity?

  3. Wait, which evil twin of Joxer was it? The assassin? The wizard? The show-tune slinging theater arts major? I mean he had a mess of brothers who were all played by Ted Raimi. I think he and Lawless had a bet or something going on as to who could play the most characters on the show…

    Also when was the last time you showed the love for Usagi man? I mean, I know its going to be one of your “Yep, still awesome” books but given this weeks short list, now could be a good time to remind people of why…

  4. Hmmm, you didn’t pick up Ennis’ The Boys? Either issue 7 or the trade? And you didn’t buy the first volume of 52?

    Well, I’m somewhat impressed by that.

  5. I know you’re not buying JSA, but it might be well within your interests to skim through issue 6, since I wouldn’t have appreciated who the villain was if I hadn’t read your blog.

  6. “I know you’re not buying JSA, but it might be well within your interests to skim through issue 6, since I wouldn’t have appreciated who the villain was if I hadn’t read your blog.”

    OMG Hate-face?

  7. I deeply, deeply hope that you’re kidding in your synopsis of Tarot.

    I’m not willing to open the damn thing to check, though…

  8. Wait, which evil twin of Joxer was it? The assassin? The wizard? The show-tune slinging theater arts major? I mean he had a mess of brothers who were all played by Ted Raimi.

    What have I been doing with my life? How have I been wasting it for this long without Netflixing an entire run of the series?

    “I know you’re not buying JSA, but it might be well within your interests to skim through issue 6, since I wouldn’t have appreciated who the villain was if I hadn’t read your blog.”

    OMG Hate-face?

    Oh man, is it Hate Face?! Or Bizarro Computo?! IS IT?!

    I deeply, deeply hope that you’re kidding in your synopsis of Tarot.

    Brother, I don’t make things up about Tarot anymore. It’s just not worth it.

  9. I finally had a chance to read an issue of Tarot this week (for free, thank God). Holy crap. For anyone who doesn’t read it (and you shouldn’t), she takes off her clothes on page 2 and never puts them back on. Yes, she “communes” with “nature” three times in the first few pages (that’s what the kids are calling it these days). It’s breathtaking in its audacity. I guess that’s something. Not much, but something.

    You keep reading it, Chris, because I certainly won’t!

  10. I had a great modern comics moment in this week’s Amazon’s Attack. We have the fighter pilot get hit by the arrow and eject. We see her land, gurgle a moment, then get stabbed to death by Amazons. Seconds later Black Canary blasts the Amazons and announces ‘The Cavalry is here!’. I remember when the cavalry arriving resulted in somebody being saved. Instead we get a wasted character death and a posing hero who did nothing actually heroic. That is modern comic books in a nutshell for me.

  11. Seriously, do they even have editors at DC anymore? Their continuity is so screwed up that I feel like Iron Fist is kicking me in the face 24/7 when I read their mags (not that that would be a bad thing…the Iron Fist thing, that is).

    Not only does everyone on the Daily Planet staff know Jason Todd’s “secret” identity; not only have we arbitrarily switched continuties again so apparently Superman as a teenager hung out with the Legion, but not the “current” incarnation of the Legion (did I miss something?? When the sprock did this happen??!?), but that’s OK because Superman seems to be existing in 6 different and mutually exclusive continuities right now; we also have this Duella Dent fiasco, in which we neglect to even mention to readers that she’s “back” or where she came from or anything, oh and never mind because she’s dead. I swear, it’s like any time the current crop of writers craps out an idea, the editors go “Great, we’ll run with it, and figure out how it makes sense later…”

    And isn’t time fandom stood up and said “We loved Jack Kirby, but the New Gods are boring and awful and no one can ever make them work so can we please just retire them for a decade or so? Please??”

  12. Here’s a hint for Super Paper Mario: Go through the Flopside Pit of 1000 Trials AFTER beating the game. You’ll be glad you did.

  13. “We loved Jack Kirby, but the New Gods are boring and awful and no one can ever make them work so can we please just retire them for a decade or so? Please??”

    Amen. I liked the DCU better when Didio was saving them up for something than I do now that the something has hit.

  14. “the only reason it doesn’t hit the mark dead on is that you just cannot feasably add a bear to the fight scenes of every comic.”

    I KNEW that issue was missing a small detail but I couldn’t put my finger on it. But you nailed it. I think “shark” or “pirate” would have worked too.

  15. Thanks for your reviews Chris. The more you review, the less I have to read! One of the very few you didn’t review this week was Blue Beetle #15. Was it just me, or did this filler suck scarab squirt?

    I’d never read anything by J. Torres…is all his work that weak?

  16. It was a small comics week out my way, too, but I still managed to snag Shaolin Cowboy. It seems odd that you wouldn’t get a book full of kicking, shooting, animals, monsters, chainsaws, and exploding babies.

  17. Re; Teen Titans: “there’s no real reason to keep buying it unless a new direction hits soon,

    Which is why I’m so looking forward to Sean McKeever’s upcoming run. Those last couple of issues of Titans were as bad as C-list Marvel titles from the mid-90s. They were so atrocious I felt like Johns and Beechen were personally catheterizing me with a wee porcupine.

  18. And isn’t time fandom stood up and said “We loved Jack Kirby, but the New Gods are boring and awful and no one can ever make them work so can we please just retire them for a decade or so? Please??”

    No. As should be pretty apparent by this point, I love the New Gods. If you really don’t think anyone can make them work, though, I just have to ask:

    Have you read Gerry Conway’s “Crisis on the Fourth World” from Justice League of America #183-185, where Batman and Mister Miracle team up to break the Injustice Society out Darkseid’s palace? Or Walt Simonson’s Orion, which features the fightinest comic ever printed? Or “Rock of Ages?” Or Cosmic Odyssey?

    Those are all fantastic non-Kirby Fourth World stories that work beautifully. Or, in the case of Orion, at least have a lot of punching to make up for the weaker bits.

  19. Or Bizarro Computo?! IS IT?!

    So very close.

    As for making Kirby characters work, there was also the Barda/Knockout slugfest last week in Birds of Prey.

  20. “apparently Superman as a teenager hung out with the Legion, but not the “current” incarnation of the Legion (did I miss something?? When the sprock did this happen??!?)”

    My understanding of the whole Supes/Legion thing (based on what I’ve been told) is that Johns/Meltzer pretty much arbitrarily decided, on their own, that Waid’s Legion run is no longer in continuity/is an alternate future/whatever. Waid (who’s exclusive is ending soon, I think) is not happy about this, as you might imagine.

    On the New Gods: Yeah, pretty much anything by Grant Morrison on the New Gods is gold (barring most of Seven Soldiers, though the first issue of Mr. Miracle is pretty badass, as is the Darkseid scene in SS#1), which leads me to this:

    52 had little-to-nothing to do with New Gods.
    Countdown willd eal extensively with them.

    Why was Morrison on 52, again?

    To Chris: as Benito said, seriously, no Shaolin Cowboy? That series seems like something that would be right up your alley, what with flying sharks being commanded by a talking skull with a sword coming out of one eye.

    Notwithstanding that, honestly, the book is worth every penny of those three dollars and fifty cents for Geof Darrow’s beautiful goddamn art.

  21. Well, while Countdown was… meh, I’m just holding out some hope that they actually can get it going. Especially in light of what Marvel is doing, particularly with their Illuminati silliness.

    Here’s a hint to all the Marvel writers/editors/trained monkeys: around the time of Secret Wars/Secret Wars 2, CHARLES XAVIER COULD WALK, OKAY?!?

    (Not to mention the fact that around Secret Wars 2, he was off bouncing about with the Starjammers and not actually ON EARTH!)

    Meh. Whatever silliness Countdown has, Marvel continues to trump it in the search for the lowest common denominator.

  22. At this time, the isb is the eighth hit when googling vampire batman punching dogs. Try harder, Sims.

  23. That Hellboy quote needs to be made into a greeting card. It’s just poetry.

  24. Here’s a hint for Super Paper Mario: Go through the Flopside Pit of 1000 Trials AFTER beating the game. You’ll be glad you did.

    You sure? Because I did the Pit of 100 Trials in Thousand Year Door before I beat the game.

    Re: Shaolin Cowboy:

    I tried it out and didn’t love the first issue, and around the time he started fighting sharks with a staff capped with chainsaws on either end, it was too late to get the earlier ones. Thus, I’m waiting for the trade, assuming that it actually comes out before the next ice age.

  25. Daredevil is one of the best comics out today. I love reading it, although the movie really damaged it a little by sucking so much. Teen Titans is great too. And I loved the first few issues of Countdown, I hope it continues.

  26. On 4th World, I’ll even add to the ‘pro’ side: the Duchess/ Lashina/ Apokolips storyline from Suicide Squad. But even Ostrander, great as he is, can’t bat a thousand with these insanely difficult characters; his attempt to set up Kanto as a long-term enemy of J’onn J’onnz was a dud.

    Knockout herself was a great addition to Kesel’s Superboy; Kesel, for my money, is the one person who’s consistently managed to make the earthbound parts of the 4th world (whether new gods on earth or cadmus/ newsboy legion/ etc) interesting and fun.

    But then we subtract a hundred zillion points for everything Byrne has ever done inflicting the 4th World on the DCU, and Darkseid in Superman/ Batman, and every interaction between Darkseid and Themyscira, and…

  27. But you can totally add those points back for the Dini/Timm version of Darkseid on Superman: The Animated Series and Justice League Unlimited!

    Also, just a reminder: Kanto is the shit.

  28. 1. If there was a DC book consisting entirely of nothing but Jason Todd getting kicked in the nards, I think I’d buy it.

    2. I did pick up JSA this week and the big question is: How are Karate Kid and Sensor Girl on the same team at the same time? The whole reason Princess Projectra became Sensor Girl is to rejoin the Legion under an assumed identity because the Legion kicked Projectra out because she KILLED KARATE KID’S KILLER. That’s like Hal Jordan being in the Green Lantern Corps alongside Abin Sur.

  29. It was recently asked: “Have you read Gerry Conway’s “Crisis on the Fourth World” from Justice League of America #183-185, where Batman and Mister Miracle team up to break the Injustice Society out Darkseid’s palace?”

    Wait, WHAT? WHAT?!? This exists? I,I,I…how can I have lived this long without reading it?

  30. Dark Xena doesn’t exist in my world. Which I know is a shame to end all shames. But which Evil Willow was she quoting? Vampire Willow or Evil Black-Haired Witch Willow?

    Either way, I’m rending my garments knowing that I’m missing out on this.

  31. If Gabe learned to draw from Liefield and Co… well then there’s hope for me, too.