With all the excitement of Dr. Doom’s Mirror-Spidey yesterday, it completely slipped my mind that Wednesday was the first night of Hanukkah. Shameful, I know, but the nice thing about Hanukkah is that even if you miss a day, you’ve still got seven more to make it up.
Still, I guess I’ll just have to wait until next year for an eight-day ISB extravaganza called Hanukkick!, a celebration of the Festival of Lights done entirely in foot-to-face violence! Because really, if someone getting kicked so hard that their entire head turns into a sound effect doesn’t qualify as miraculous, then brother, I don’t know what does.
Until then, however, we’ll just have to content ourselves with another round of the Internet’s Most Festive Comics Reviews! Here’s what I picked up this week…
…and now, let’s find out if I got any comfort and/or joy out of ’em!
Comics
The All-New Atom #18: Okay, seriously guys. I know the Atom shrinks and it’s his deal–and that Ray Palmer had the crazy suit in the Silver Age that was invisible at full size and all–but come on, man! Can’t we get that guy a full-sized chair? It’s been like forty-six years!
Oh well. Anything’s better that sitting on Hawkman’s shoulder, I guess, but judging your furniture by how it compares to a half-naked alien cop in a bird costume is no way to get through life, son.
Seating arrangements aside, it’s another fantastic issue from Gail Simone and Mike Norton, with the normal rapid-fire string of craziness that’s as close as modern comics come to guys like Bob Kanigher. And of course, I mean that in the best way possible, because really: There’s no way I’m not going to love a comic where the lead character’s in imminent danger of being murdered by a “Ted Grant Grease-Grabbin’ Grill.” That’s just genius.
Atomic Robo #3: Not since the heyday of Luchadore cinema has their been a battle of Robot versus Mummy this furious!
I’ve been enjoying the heck out of Atomic Robo so far, and while this issue does a pretty nice job of continuing that streak, I’ve got to say that this is probably my least-favorite of the run. It’s not the story per se that’s the problem here; Brian Clevinger’s usual bombast comes right through with a story of the Action Scientists! taking on a mobile, death-ray enabled pyramid powered by Ancient Egyptian computers, and Scott Wegener’s art fits beautifully, especially in the way that he’s able to make Robo, a character with no actual features to speak of, so darn expressive. No, for 90% of the story, it’s great. It’s the ending where it all falls apart.
Specifically, it’s the last panel, where things just explode and the story grinds to a halt. I think the record’ll back me up when I say that I probably like explosions way more than your average guy, and I’m assuming that the next issue’ll pick up with the next part of the story, but the actual issue has no indication whatsoever that that’s the case. Even one more panel could’ve wrapped things up or set them up nicely for the next issue, but that panel never shows up, and I can’t figure out why, especially given that it’s followed almost immediately by a four-page backup.
Still, it’s a fun book, and if you haven’t given it a shot already, it’s well worth checking out. I mean, sudden ending or not, it’s still a comic where guys called the Action Scientists! fight ancient death rays, and that pretty much sells itself.
Avengers: The Initiative Annual #1: I’ve gone on at length about my affection for the Enforcers in the past, and rest assured that it’s pretty much boundless. Only slightly less well-known, however, is my love for the Underground Liberated Totally Integrated Mobile Army To Unite Mankind and their leader, a sinister terrorist mastermind whose only goal appears to be hitting things with his stick.
It doesn’t usually work out too well for him.
Still, I cannot get enough of Flagsmasher and ULTIMATUM, which probably stems from the fact that it was pretty much a rite of passage for any character in the ’90s to team up with the Punisher to stop him from accomplishing his vaguely nefarious schemes around issue #5, and darn it, that’s one tradition that I’m glad to see back.
Beyond that, however–and let’s be honest, folks: Flagsmasher shows up for a grand total of four pages here–Dan Slott, Christos Gage and the art teams do a fine job of filling in the histories of one of the most enjoyable casts in comics, and they even have time to include the secret of unlocking optimum human potential. Great stuff.
House of M: Avengers #2: You know, this thing might as well just be called MARVEL COMICS: THE ’70s.
I mean really: If you went back in time and told me a year ago that I’d not only be reading a House of M spinoff, but enjoying it more than just about anything else on the stands today, I would’ve thought you’d lost your mind. “Listen, pal,” I would’ve said, “I’m sure in 1985 you can buy plutonium at any corner drugstore, but around here, House of M is awful. Just awful.” And yet, here we are with a book by Christos Gage adn Mike Perkins that’s delivering on every bit of potential that it could’ve asked for.
After all, it’s a book that opens up with Luke Cage and Shang-Chi, the Master of Kung Fu, throwing down in an alley, and if you’re reading this on the ISB, then there’s a good chance that’s all you really need to know about why you oughtta be buying it. And of course, there is the small matter of the fact that this issue introduces this guy called Frank, who brings us the most clever bit in the issue.
Admittedly, I probably think about the Punisher more than anyone really should, but if memory serves, part of the deal with House of M was that the Scarlet Witch created the “perfect world,” where everyone got what they wanted. Magneto got a world where mutants were in charge, Spider-Man got a life where he didn’t fail to save Uncle Ben, and so on. And in this, we see Frank Castle, who manages to save his family and still gets to become the one-man crime-fighting badass that he was always meant to be. It’s great.
And it doesn’t stop there, either: From the Sons of the Tiger to the secret origin of “Sweet Christmas,” this thing’s just full of good old-fashioned fun. And punching. But mostly fun.
Justice League of America #15: Earlier tonight, I had a pretty interesting conversation with my pal Chad about his frustrations with this issue. Initially, I didn’t notice too much out of the ordinary going on–mostly because I was basking in the glow of an issue where Firestorm shows up to save everyone, which I honestly don’t think has happened before in my lifetime–with the exception of the really weird scene with Dr. Light and the Cheetah. The more that he pointed out, however, the more I had to concede that he’s right: There’s an awful lot that’s just jumbled up in this issue, from Hawkgirl making a big deal about grabbing a couple of arrows and then never doing anything with them to a scene where Superman beats up Lex Luthor while his friends hold him down. Evil mastermind or not, that’s pretty low class.
And it’s pretty disappointing, too, especially considering how good Dwayne McDuffie’s doing on Fantastic Four, and how much promise his Justice League run showed in the pages of the Wedding Special. Still, there’s so much disconnect between the art and the script in certain places that you’ve got to wonder how much of that goes with Ed Benes, too.
There is one pretty big redeeming quality, however–aside from the fact that it’s still worlds better than the Brad Meltzer run–and that’s the panel included in the shopping list above. I’d pay good money for a book where Lex Luthor just stared pensively at household objects and said the names of third-string super-heroes:
PANEL ONE
Lex Luthor holds up a pot of gardenias, looking at them wistfully.
LUTHOR: Blue Devil…
It’d be like printing gold.
Lobster Johnson: The Iron Prometheus #4: At this point, I’ve gone on enough about my love of Mike Mignola in general and the pulp-style action of Lobster Johnson specifically, and honestly, four issues into a five-issue series, I don’t think I’m going to win anybody else over here.
However, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the “True History of Lobster Johnson” one page text pieces that have appeared as backups in each issue, for the simple reason that this issue details the ’50s and the Lobster’s brief tenure as the Luchadore focus of a series of “amazingly low-budget Mexican horror films.”
And yes. It’s every bit as funny as it sounds.
Robin #169: And now, a blunt, authoritatively stated review in the Mighty Chris Sims Manner:
Hey, you know what’s not very good?
This.
Suburban Glamour #2: And also falling into the category of Things I Don’t Really Think I Need To Say Anymore, we have the absolutely gorgeous art of Jamie McKelvie. By now, there’s no doubt in my mind that you’ve all listened to my constant praising and picked up a copy of McKelvie and Keiron Gillen’s Phonogram
In this issue, there’s a scene where Astrid has an appointment with her guidance counselor, who tells her that a career in music or music journalism just isn’t a reasonable goal. And the guy who tells her that? It’s totally Phonogram‘s David Kohl. Seriously, cracked me right up. Well done, McKelvie.
Uncanny X-Men #493: Step off, Evan Dorkin! Back the hell up, Johnny Ryan! Watch your ass, Michael Kupperman! You guys might’ve thought you knew how to do comedy, but Ed Brubaker’s here to show you how it’s really done!
I mean it, man: I haven’t laughed this hard reading a comic since The Cowboy Wally Show
And as funny as that is, it’s a mere prelude to the real punchline, which comes when Cyclops mentions that it’s time to “up the stakes,” which Wolverine takes to mean “Go get everyone with a knife and/or claws and go kill my son from the future.” And they call it… X-Force. I had tears in my eyes. Heck, it was almost as great a gag as Chris Giarrusso’s haiku joke.
Trades
Saga of the Super-Sons: Ahem:
So yeah. You’re gonna want that
And that’s the week! As always, any comments, questions or debate on whether it’s my love of Owly
As for me, I’ll be trying to find that new issue of Tiger Beat. My store got shorted again!
Mr. Sims, you are STILL not reading ps238. Despite the fact that the older issues are available online for free. This is a crime Mr. Sims. I crime against comics and the super-heroes that so many of them feature. GO Mr. Sims! Go and read! Then go and buy! NOW MR. SIMS! GO NOW!
I agree that the world needs more Flagsmasher. An evil Space Ghost with a mace? And henchmen who wear berets? He’s too perfect.
God bless you Mr. Sims for telling the truth about the disappointment of McDuffie’s JLA. Just what was that about? At least the heroes aren’t calling each by their civilian names in combat.
I will join both post 1’s cry for more PS238 in the Sims household and Jeff’s cry for more Flagsmasher and add my own cry of curse Chris’ store having a different shipping schedule from mine on the book of the week, Nova! I so looked forward to the review of the battle to save the society that lives inside of the hollowed out Celestial head drifting on the outside of reality. Which of course meant that Chris wouldn’t get it until next week.
CURSES!
I haven’t read it yet, but the guidance counselor might very well also be Kieron Gillen, writer of Phonogram and a music journalist.
And as the world turns more surreal, McKelvie is referenced by name in a music video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJZTR_3DOdU
Considering that it’s McDuffie, I’m willing to let it slide a little while. Of course, finding out that Millar is taking over Fantastic Four in the not-too-distant future might have driven McDuffie to a heavy drinking binge. This, coincidentally, might be the rational explanation as to JLA this month. Honestly, I think it’s the art more than the writing, though DC’s habit of screwing up scheduling (really, JLA #15 should have come out before Salvation Run #1, and likewise with some of the GL stuff and Countdown) is rather annoying, to say the least.
And no Countdown: Arena? Not that I exactly blame you, but the thought of three alternate-universe Batmen throwing down would have been a given. Of course, to make it truly perfect, Monarch should have provided a car battery or two in the arena where they fought to the death.
(Damn, I’m feeling talky this morning.)
Stay back, you grotty goon!
Wow. That must be the Earth-Adam West Batman.
I too laughed at the Uncanny X-Men (although I am enjoying the story). The last page just needed one of those sound effect hallmark cards to play some cheesy 70s action show music.
Question: No The Sword?
I was really hoping to read your thoughts on Supergirl #24. I read that issue three times thinking, “I must be missing something.” I’ve finally decided that it just doesn’t make any sense. Does ANYONE understand this issue? Especially the end:
KARA: Pours out heart about Clark’s mom.
CLARK: Um… what?
dude i feel you on the uncanny xmen. i was sitting there going when did he have time to buy a baby harness with the x-men logo on it and where did he find it. did he sew it himself? regardless cable with teh baby harness makes all my time reading xmen comics worth it
I kinda wanted to hear what you thought about Ultimates III. I thought it stank. VALIDATE MY FEELINGS.
“…judging your furniture by how it compares to a half-naked alien cop in a bird costume is no way to get through life, son. “
Yes. Yes it is. Until you have done it, you have not lived. Also, you undoubtedly have crappy furniture.
True story:*
A few years ago, my old roommate and I were in IKEA picking out couches and the like for our new Swingin’ Bachelor Pad. We’d test the couches and chairs by sitting in them, then administering a test.
ROOMMATE: How’s it feel?
ME: Good. Very good.
RM: How does it compare to sitting on the shoulder of a half-naked alien cop in a bird costume?
ME: Hard to say. Durlan cop? Khund?
RM: Thanagarian.
ME: Hm. (Adjusts butt, thinks.) Better than Katar, not as good as Shiera.
RM: Cool. And it’s on sale.
ME: Works for me.
—————-
*Not a true story.
Damn you Chris! Lex and his gardenias almost made Pepsi come out my nose.
I can neither confirm nor deny a Gillen appearance in my comic.
No, no, no Chris. Having an obsession with “Dramacon” is just a way to pack a years worth of anime-con-going-frivolity into a trade paperback so one never actually has to go to an anime con… making it an essential part of everyone’s reading list.
If you really want to get on the neighbourhood watch list, I highly suggest having friends sign you up for a years subscription to “Shojo Beat”, when you and your sole roomate are both males in their late 20s. Never has been getting the mail been so uncomfortable!
dude i feel you on the uncanny xmen. i was sitting there going when did he have time to buy a baby harness with the x-men logo on it and where did he find it. did he sew it himself? regardless cable with teh baby harness makes all my time reading xmen comics worth it
Obviously, Cafepress is still in existence in the far distant future where Cable is from. He just ordered it with express shipping before he came back.
GO Mr. Sims! Go and read! Then go and buy!
I’m good, thanks.
And no Countdown: Arena? Not that I exactly blame you, but the thought of three alternate-universe Batmen throwing down would have been a given.
Believe it or not, but the idea of alternate-universe Batman fighting each other doesn’t really appeal to me, especially when one of them is Vampire Batman, who is:
a) Stupid
b) Lame, and
c) Stupid lame.
It just doesn’t make any sense: Why would we want to see who the “best” Batman out of those guys is? We already know who the best Batman is, it’s “our” Batman. And if our Batman isn’t the best, then what the hell are we doing reading about him every month?
To be fair, I did flip through and thought the part with the knives was pretty funny–and I did get a kick out of the version of Nightshade that’s also the Shade–but it just doesn’t grab me in concept, especially not at $3.99 for a weekly series.
Question: No The Sword?
I don’t care for the Luna Brothers.
Or rather, I don’t care for their work. I don’t know what they’re like as people, and I’ve heard nice things, although this one time at HeroesCon I got pretty drunk and expressed an intense desire to fight them.
I kinda wanted to hear what you thought about Ultimates III.
Oh, it’s godawful. I could go on and on about it, but I try to only review books I actually buy in TWII, so I skipped it.
For further edification, see also.
I was really hoping to read your thoughts on Supergirl #24.
Yeah, that issue pretty much confirmed that I’m done with that little experiment. It might be a steep curve, but I gave Kelley Puckett two issues to wow me into liking the book, and he didn’t. And honestly, I never need to see Krypton again.
Am I wrong in thinking Ultimates III might be intentionally awful, like All-Star Batman? Because no one can do a comic that bad accidentally…can they?
Also, the Hulk Haiku was easily the highlight of my week.
But you’re not good Mr. Sims. You’re living in a horrid state of non-ps238ness. A horrible half-life where every day you don’t have the recommended dosage of school children who engage in time travel, build mechs out of junkyard cars or attend classes with Hestia, Goddess of the Hearth…
Re: Ultimates III, Chris says:
For further edification, see also.
Beautifully put by Mr. Church, though I think he doesn’t value his time highly enough. (Or the American $ really has devalued. Try it in Euros, Kevin!)
I haven’t seen anybody point out yet that two Marvel comics this week — Ultimates 3 and The Order — both feature a team member’s sex tape as a plot device. Certainly made the second less interesting after reading the first.
Can’t we get that guy a full-sized chair? It’s been like forty-six years!
Oh well. Anything’s better that sitting on Hawkman’s shoulder, I guess, but judging your furniture by how it compares to a half-naked alien cop in a bird costume is no way to get through life, son.
Ah, but you forget that this little chair was just stored in Wonder Woman’s rack, thus considerably upping its value.
Isn’t GUMBY as close as we get to Kanigher these days? I mean, Laser Teeth.
Rather harsh on Dwayne McDuffie there Mr. Chris. Black Canary says a great line to Giganta and after all these years we get the confirmation that Batman is indeed a god.
Maybe you were thinking FF4 while reading a JLA book.
What’d you think of Ultimates 3 # 1, Chris?
I’m surprised you didn’t review it. I mean, it is something of a big deal…
Alexander, see post 18.
No Ultimates 3 #1 review?? I was looking forward to laughing till my sides to hurt.
Also: Someone tell me whether Northlanders is any good.
Surprised no one’s mentioned it but Hanukkah started on Tuesday. Any given “day” starts at midnight in the Gregorian Calendar cycle and at sundown of the “day before” per the Hebrew calendar. So though Hanukkah is marked on Wednesday on the calendar it really started Tuesday evening.
Rather harsh on Dwayne McDuffie there Mr. Chris. Black Canary says a great line to Giganta
Are you referring to the thing about her dress? Because Giganta’s been wearing a crazy body-suit (with leopard print lining) in most of her appearances for the past couple of years, including on the cover to JLA #13, so…
“Still, there’s so much disconnect between the art and the script in certain places that you’ve got to wonder how much of that goes with Ed Benes, too.”
I have a very strong desire to start a “Put Amanda Connor on JLA onoing” petition.
I read your blog like CANDY.
-mE.
While I see your point about Batman v Batman v Stupid Lame Batman, our Earth (whatever the hell number they gave our Earth) isn’t involved. Instead you get Liberty Files and Gotham by Gaslight, which are both AWESOME. The end leaves a metric fuckton to be desired, however.
Re: Atomic Robo. Finally got to it. The ending? Just as jarring as you described. And to think I doubted your correctivity on this one.
Re: JLA. Here here on better than Meltzer. The Hawkgirl/Red Arrow (Uh, what? Really? That’s the best name you could come up with? What about..Arsenal?) thing was meant to be a “moment” I think. It sure read better than the awkward stuff that Meltzer was putting into his stuff.
I’m just disappointed when Firestorm came back that he didn’t bring a whole cavalry with him, considering how many supervillains there were and their supposed advantage. Batman with a pen was funny though.