The Worst of Netflix: Gooby



This week on the Worst of Netflix, I take a look at Gooby, a monumentally creepy kid flick starring the voice of Robbie Coltrane:

One would think that a recurring role in the ridiculously lucrative Harry Potter franchise would pretty much set an actor up for life, but with diminishing screen time and the shift in pre-teen obsession to the also ridiculously lucrative Twilight franchise, it appears that Robbie Coltrane was left thinking that a solid gold luxury yacht might not have been the smartest purchase. Those things tend to be non-returnable, and when you’re best known for playing a dimwitted giant in a children’s movie about wizards, you’re pretty much left with two options: Start doing the convention circuit, where a constant stream of people who don’t blink tell you about your many erotic adventures in their fan-fiction, or knock out some voiceover work on a direct-to-DVD kiddie flick about a talking teddy bear.

It’s a tough choice, but I’m betting if he knew how bizarrely creepy Gooby was going to turn out, Coltrane probably would’ve stuck with DragonCon.

This was actually one of the more fun WONs to write, both because of the name of writer/director Wilson Coneybeare, and because the film itself included the junior version of my infamous fried ice cream photo:



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20 thoughts on “The Worst of Netflix: Gooby

  1. That’s normal for UK actors though. They just keep working no matter what the job. It’s rare to get that one hit role over there, so they just treat everything like most of us treat our day jobs. It’s just a pay check.

    That said, I don’t know what you’re getting paid for over at Heavy, but the term “no enough” comes to mind after I read this one.

  2. It’s truly tragic because even Hagrid was him doing it for the money – back home he’s Cracker first, Bond Villain/Buddy second, everything else a distant third.

  3. Oh you are horrible – I saw Gooby myself recently and was going to write it up at some point when I had the time.

    >shakes fist menacingly<

  4. Oh ye gods, I saw the trailer for this and couldn’t believe it wasn’t an early-90s Charles Band kid’s movie. Actually, scratch that: it didn’t look sane enough to be an early-90s Charles Band kid’s movie.

  5. Strangely, “Wilson Coneybeare” would make a much better imaginary talking animal name than the one that the film chose.

  6. Unless Coltrane is in the bear suit, I don’t think we should hold this against him. Voice work means a few days in a sound booth and it seems unlikely that he would see or care about the final product as long as it meant he’d get an easy paycheck.

    I like to think that Eugene Levy, on the other hand, is scrounging up funds playing in every shitty movie he’s offered so he can pay for a world-changing private project that revolutionizes cinema. I would almost bet that Levy works more days out of the year than 98% of other actors, until I remember I’ve never seen him in a movie that looks like they spent more than a week and a half throwing together.

  7. I can’t find much bio info on Coneybeare, but I can’t help but suspect he’s the son of Rod Coneybeare, who was the man behind the puppets Rusty the Rooster and Gerome the Giraffe in the classic Canadian kids show The Friendly Giant. Somehow I doubt Friendly would think much of Gooby.

  8. Personally, I like to think that Eugene Levy’s recent career is him flipping the big ol’ bird to society. Sheer boiling misanthropy hidden behind a facade of lowbrow cinema.

  9. So, does Gooby lead the boy to the abandoned apartment complex in some sort of bid for revenge against the boy’s father? Is that where it goes?

  10. “He tumbles to Gooby’s existence and then spends the rest of the movie following Willy around with a camera.”

    Wow, it’s exactly the same role he played in Splash!

  11. “It’s truly tragic because even Hagrid was him doing it for the money – back home he’s Cracker first, Bond Villain/Buddy second, everything else a distant third.”

    Does being in Krull count for nothing?!

  12. Gaaaah! In some of those pics, Gooby looks frighteningly like the late John Candy., who of course was a friend of Eugene Levy’s.

  13. Thank you, Sims. how you do this every week and don’t wash your eyes with bleach is just beyond me.