The Worst of Netflix: Interceptor Force

 

 

I watched this one because of six words: “And Ernie Hudson as The Major“:

So you remember that part in Ghostbusters when Ernie Hudson says that he’ll believe in anything as long as there’s a steady paycheck in it? After catching his ten minutes of screen time in Interceptor Force (aka Interceptors, aka Alien Interceptors, aka The Last Line of Defense, aka The Piece of Crap Heavy Paid Me To Sit Through This Week), I’m pretty sure that’s a philosophy he applies in real life as well.

I mean, how else does a guy end up phoning in a couple of scenes for a movie that’s such a shameless ripoff of Predator that it was actually released on VCD (remember those?) as Predator 3?

The Worst of Netflix on Heavy.com: The “Official” Web-Based DVD Mockery Column of the 2010 Olympic Games.

15 thoughts on “The Worst of Netflix: Interceptor Force

  1. I haven’t seen the film, so I can’t say anything definitive, but jumping down a well to survive a nuclear blast isn’t as stupid as you might think. There isn’t much downward air flow to effectively convey heat down a deep narrow well, so it provides a fair amount of thermal protection, and the surrounding dirt and stone would work as an effective protection against shrapnel, debris, and even radiation (at least temporarily). The main problem would be if there were a lot of combustible materials around the well, as the resulting fire could suck the oxygen out of the well, suffocating him. Also, leaving the well while the fallout was still present would probably be problmeatic, but i confess i don’t know much about radiation’s effect on people.
    (Obviously if he’s a at gound zero, he’s fucked, but at even a small distance away from a small nuclear bomb, in a relatively undeveloped area, you could feasibly survive a blast by jumping down a deep well.)

  2. I have to say that I found the idea of the Mexican bandito “Rosario” being played by guy named Stefan Lysenko to be pretty funny.Because, you know, it’s *so* hard to find actual Mexicans in the US. No, let’s cast a guy who seems to be related to the infamous Soviet pseudo-scientist instead!

  3. I was going to nominate film called Frost: Diary of a Vampire for WoN, but sadly discovered it has been awarded two stars. Which is a shame, since it is absolutely one of the worst films I have ever seen (plus Kevin VanHook, the writer/director, is a former comics writer, so there’s that as well).

    But t give you an idea of how bad this movie is…you know how every vampire movie has a wise old professor type who instructs the hero on how to combat the undead menace? In this movie, that character is played by GARY BUSEY.

  4. And jumping down a well is still only the second dumbest method for surviving a nuclear blast I’ve ever seen in a movie.

    Yes, I’m looking at you, Dr. Jones.

  5. Spoiler alert (yeah, because you’re going to watch this movie):

    I only watched this movie because of Angel Boris (who I admit I have crushed on since she was in a Women of Hawaiian Tropic special on, I think, USA Network sometime last century) and it pissed me off royally that she was the victim of the Highlander Rule for Women In Film.

    The Highlander Rule for Women in Film (or HRW), for those of you unfamiliar with it, is that if you have an action, fantasy, sci-fi, or horror film with two or more women, by the end of the film there will be only one. While not universal, it is a rather widely employed rule; the Bond films provide a number of good examples of this (not counting Moneypenny — sorry Moneypenny). Even if they have to come up with the most ridiculous, insane, or otherwise contrived way of knocking off the ladies, they’ll do it (see a movie called Ice Queen for a particularly deranged example). In Interceptor Force, even though Boris is pretty much the only woman in the damn film, they out of the blue disintegrate her so they can inexplicably save the bad guy’s girlfriend from a nuclear blast. WTF?!

  6. It occurs to me that somebody might watch Ice Queen because of what I said and I can’t have that on my conscience. DON’T WATCH ICE QUEEN (unless you’re Chris and getting paid for it). In a nutshell, guy, girlfriend, and slightly injured girl are fleeing a monster, get to a ladder, and they have the slightly injured girl go last. And not for a “we’ll go up first and help you” reason, or even a scumbag “screw her, she’ll be too slow going up” reason (they hang around trying to help her even after she’s a goner). Nope, as near as I can tell it’s just girlfriend up first, then Mr. Chivalry decides it should be “girl-guy-girl” and goes up while slightly injured girl waits. It’s literally as if the writers (if they can be called that) realized that it was nearly to the end of the film and so contrived a way to satisfy the HRW.

  7. This issue of diving into a well got me wondering, so I’ve been perusing a few books I have (leftovers from the good old days of the Cold War) and looking online, and all of them agree that getting underground is the best way to survive a nuclear blast–a quick search of the internet yields all sorts of rather disturbing videos of U.S. troops ducking in trenches as an atomic bomb goes off a few miles away in the early 50’s. So depending on how far the well was from ground zero and the size of the device, it’s not inconceivable that he would survive to walk off across the blasted, burned countryside.

    Hang on, I don’t recall a blasted, burned countryside. I seem to remember it looking more like a countryside in the summertime after it hadn’t rained in maybe a week.

    They must have forgotten to put the scenes of destruction in. Much like they forgot to put in the scene where he dies of radiation induced cancer ten years later.

  8. Funny that you invoke the Highlander rule for this film, since Interceptor Force 2 starred Elizabeth “Amanda” Gracen, in what I think was her final role before retiring from the business altogether.

    She was actually pretty good in it.