Last week, commenter Jason asked if I was planning on doing anything to celebrate the one-year anniversary of The-ISB.com, and while the thought had occurred to me, I really didn’t think it was all that necessary. After all, I already celebrate the ISB’s Awesomeversary every year on January 6. I even buy a cake every year, and when you get right down to it, that’s just weird.
Clearly, pastries aren’t necessary this time around, but a full year of the New ISB ought to get some kind of mention, so I thought I’d take this opportunity to go back over a classic. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you The Single Greatest Comic Book Of All Time:
Yeah, I know: Not only have I talked about this comic before, but I tend to talk about it–or at least one scene–at every available opportunity. Still, the last time I actually went into detail about Batman #425 was more than three years ago, and even that post lacked the benefit of a scanner.
So let me set the scene here: Imagine that you’re six years old, and in addition to various hair and polo shirt-related issues, you have a problem. You’re spending the Thanksgiving break at your grandparents’ house in Ohio, six hundred miles away from your NES, and those guys don’t even have cable. So with boredom setting in, you wander across the street to the convenience store with your dad to get some comics to kill the time, and you see that thing up there along with the previous issue.
Now at this point, I’d read a couple of comics before, and I knew a little about Batman from Superfriends and the ’66 TV show, but that did absolutely nothing to prepare me for the mind-blowing I was about to receive. This thing was like a match to the powderkeg that was my brain, and believe it or not, it wasn’t just about the car battery. But we’ll get to that in a second.
So here’s the plot:
Someone’s kidnapped Jim Gordon and sent a letter to Batman demanding that he show up with Robin in tow and no police. Why? Because in the last issue Robin fucking killed a guy.
Oh, relax: He was a total cokehead scumbag who slapped around his girlfriend until she committed suicide, but thanks to his father’s diplomatic immunity
Did I mention I read this story of domestic violence, drug abuse and vigilante justice when I was six?
Anyway, once the handy two-page recap’s out of the way, we find out that Batman recognizes the junkyard where they’re keeping Gordon from the one photograph–because, you know, he’s Batman–and thus he sets off to settle the score without telling Jason, who stows away Speed Racer style in the trunk of the Batmobile. And this is where it starts to get good.
Come to think of it, every story I’ve read about Batman going to a junkyard to save Robin is awesome. I mean, admittedly, there’s only two, but still. It’s nice to have a track record.
So Batman gets to the spot where Jose’s holding Gordon, and at this point, this issue totally turns into Die Hard
Really, though, you’ve got to wonder what the hell Jose was thinking here. Admittedly, he’s bereaved, but the guy’s a career diplomat and he’s trying to set a deathtrap for Batman. You’d think one of his pals would sit him down and explain that Batman wrestles a tiger while escaping a crushing wall trap before breakfast. But alas. Jose was… inconsolable.
So for the next nine pages, Batman just beats the living crap out of everybody he comes across, dispatching them with what I can only describe as cold enjoyment. And then this happens:
That’s it. That’s the moment. That’s where the ISB was born, although it wouldn’t actually show up for another seventeen years. You can draw a line straight to the comics I read today and everything makes sense: The way Batman casually looks around for something to use, the delight he takes in “getting improvisational,” the thug’s reaction and the grin Batman’s got in the shadow, the way the guy just crumples. You don’t hear a whole lot about Mark Bright, but man. That is a beautiful page.
But here’s the thing: The way I talk about the car battery and how much I love it, you’d think that was the climax of the fight scene, but it’s not: That’s the second guy. There’s nine more thugs before Batman even gets to Jose and his bodyguards.
So let’s see how it works out for them:
Ah, the ol’ make-em-shoot-each-other trick. What’s interesting about this one, though, is that Batman’s pulling off a six foot vertical leap. That’s like two feet higher than Jordan! What, did he spend a season with the Harlem Globetrotters when he was traveling the world to learn his Batman skills?
Of course he did. He’s Batman.
Next.
The dreaded Bat-Backhand, with Aparo Effect.
Next.
Oh man, this one is awesome. Three guys, all armed with Uzis, and Batman just takes them out like it’s nothing. I mean, that’s a right-left-right-left ya toothless. And then you say “Goddamn, he’s ruthless.”
In fact, I’m pretty sure I did say that. And that Ice Cube wrote that line about this comic.
But the most awesome thing about this one? Look closely and you’ll see that Batman has knocked out the third guy before the first one hits the ground.
Next.
Whoops! Dart in your neck!
And that’s all of them. After that, all that’s left is to confront Jose and his team of bodyguards. Of course, I should note that through this entire sequence, Batman is completely chilled out. Even when Jose’s got a gun in his face, his narration is “This won’t be easy at close range. I’ll probably end up taking a bullet or two.” It’s so matter of fact that Batman kicking the hell out of these guys is already a foregone conclusion.
Fortunately, taking a bullet isn’t necessary: Robin shows up to provide a distraction, Batman frees Gordon with a couple of Batarangs and takes out the bodyguards–who go down about as quick as you’d expect–and then, for some reason, Batman decides to climb up a stack of cars.
Why? I don’t know. He’s Batman. Just roll with it.
Thus:
And you know what? Until I re-read it this week, I never realized that the sound of a stack of automobiles crashing down on a man is “KAR-TUNKK!!”
Truly, this is the comic that keeps on giving.
Special thanks to BitterAndrew for help with this one.
And the icing on the cake is that throwing a bat-tery even goes with his usual weaponry theme.
Heh. Glad I can draw the inspiration. And it looks like this blog should be one of the best five things to come out of Doc Bright’s career. And the Sealab 2021 reference? Delicious frosting.
Amazing. For your SECONDARY anniversary Marvel comics gives you Guardians of the Galaxy. I can only dream of what will emerge from comics on your “real” blog-aversary…
So all this time you’ve been talking about Aparo, and it’s been M.D. Bright?
Man, I love Doc Bright. Aside from my annoyance over him reusing panels in Quantum and Woody.
Batman doesn’t kill. he just plans his movements so that the bad guys kill themselves.
“… Jason, who stows away Speed Racer style in the trunk of the Batmobile.”
So, is Jason Spritle, or Chim-Chim?
“Well, almost flatfooted.”
I now eagerly await the day that this page will be printed on a shirt. Below it, “Because Batman never fails a Reflex roll.”
So, if the vilain sends a letter to Batman, does it means that the batcave has a known adress?
Sorry this is unrelated. But Chris: PLEASE review Thunderbolts #120 for this week’s comics reviews! Warren “Nextwave” Ellis is in top form, and amidst all the brilliant, shimmering chaos that transpires, he actually manages to make the proverbial chicken-salad out of chicken [ingredients], and through one deftly-placed line, redeem the whole ‘Normon Osborne still being alive and having knocked up Gwen Stacey’ thing. Only Ellis could have pulled it off.
I know what you mean Chris. I had a very similar religious Bat experience with Batman Annual #8 – the one where Batman fights Ra’s Al Ghul on a space station and then sends him flying INTO THE SUN.
Batman doesn’t kill. he just plans his movements so that the bad guys kill themselves.
So… Batman had a go at Wondy Woman for killing Maxwell Lord but is quite happy to jump out of the way and let two thugs kill themselves. Or cause a tower of wrecked cars to crush another thug.
Yep, that’s some superhero.
How do you send a letter to Batman? I’d like to know.
When I was a youngster, I got a subscription to Detective Comics after clipping out a coupon from a Masters of the Universe comic. My only experience to Batman was the Superfriends cartoon. Those issues (around ’83, Jason Todd was just starting out) featured not only a dude getting a knife through the heart but the first time I encountered the “N word” anywhere (for real).
Presumably one could get a letter to Batman by delivering it to Commissioner… oh wait.
Gotta love the Bat-morality of this story. Batman actively causes the death of a bad guy as part of a lesson to Robin that it’s not okay to kill the bad guys.
I’ve always loved how those drugged darts work immediately, too. Reminds me of Green Arrow melting snow with a salt arrow.
So… Batman had a go at Wondy Woman for killing Maxwell Lord but is quite happy to jump out of the way and let two thugs kill themselves. Or cause a tower of wrecked cars to crush another thug.
his Bat-morality is superior to our Earth-morality.
Happy anniversary!
I don’t think I ever told you this, but I found your blog in the first place because I was going to do a blog post about why Batman #425 is the greatest comic book of all time. True story! Before I finished the post, I did a Google search to see if anyone else had ever posted about this issue, because I don’t like to be repetitive. Then I found your post and it said everything I wanted to say…but better.
It really is the greatest single issue ever.
This is definitely a moment of Bat-awesome that has a rotten setup. In addition to all the weird morality and logic issues other people have brought up already, should Batman really give a flying fig about diplomatic immunity? “Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly lot, and I must strike fear and terror into their hearts unless they’re official employees of another sovereign nation.” Uh-huh.
Diplomatic immunity came to play in “A Death in the Family” and the only thing that kept Batman from throttling Ambassator Joker was Superman.
I know I’ve used this picture of mine before, but the chance to reuse it now couldn’t be more appropriate.
Happy Anniversary The-ISB.com!
Let’s try that again:
http://i142.photobucket.com/albums/r99/Hekatef/bdaytilt.jpg
Oh, Vermic! That’s beautiful.
(sniff)
Ed, Starlin *loved* to have the bad guys claim diplomatic immunity. He did the same thing with the KGBeast a few issues earlier.
Your six-year-old self is CUTE AS HELL.
Am I just crazy, or does the car battery actually have the word “DIEHARD” stamped on it?
Look closely and you’ll see that Batman has knocked out the third guy before the first one hits the ground.
That’s only because Grant Morrison takes forever to fall.
I’ve never posted here before, though I’ve been visiting the website for over a year, but I must say, it really takes reading some of these great old comics (along with Grant/Wagner/Breyfogle Detective) to make you realize how much Batman sucks these days.
Why has everyone forgotten how to write this character? Dini gets it right sometimes, but not often enough.
However, I must disagree on the greatest Batman comic ever (but maybe just because I’ve never read the whole thing). For my money, the greatest single Batman issue, encompassing all that is awesome about Batman, was Batman 431 written by James Owsley and illustrated by the incomparable Jim Aparo. It had everything a Batman comic should have: Done-in-one story, the Batman being a detective, an acrobat, a scary MF, a master of disguise and a brilliant martial artist while kicking the crap out of five ninjas who try to bushwack him, taking out one of them with a frying pan! There’s even some pathos in there due to it being immediately after Jason Todd was killed.
It also had one of the best Batman covers ever. I re-read this issue all the time.
I have no scanner and I suck at finding scans of interior pages of books, so if someone else can find any to post, I would be eternally grateful.
Here’s a listing for it that at least shows you a small version of the cover:
http://www.dcuguide.com/Bm/Bm_431.php
What’s interesting about this one, though, is that Batman’s pulling off a six foot vertical leap. That’s like two feet higher than Jordan! What, did he spend a season with the Harlem Globetrotters when he was traveling the world to learn his Batman skills?
Of course he did. He’s Batman.
LOL — God, what I wouldn’t give to SEE the montage where Batman learns to Jump Good…
Am I just crazy, or does the car battery actually have the word “DIEHARD†stamped on it?
Why wouldn’t it? Its a pretty common brand of car battery…
I should’ve made this clear: Batman doesn’t shove the cars onto Jose, he’s just up there when the gunfire causes it to come crashing down.
Oooo…just like the end of episode 54 of Bleach, except that had cool music and was animated.
Does #431 take place in a junkyard? No? Then shut up. How many batteries does Batman throw in #431? Zero? Then shut up.
Snap.
I don’t know, I was always fond of #475 and #476, but that was more for Joker stuff than Batman stuff-I mean the Joker turns the page for the reader, and I believe they hold the best joker panel ever-
http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3841/751/1600/MRJoker.jpg
For that matter, I can’t separate the issues, since they’re a two parter.
So, as far as showcasing Batman goes, this probably is one of the best issues.
I like that Batman decides to use the car battery almost on a whim. The guy’s a minor thug, doesn’t even know he’s there, he could be taken out by any number of things, so Bats indulges himself.
AFTER CATCHING that battery in the gut, that criminal had to be treated for…
stomach acid.
Wow, I just realized that the greatest isssue of Batman is the very last issue before A Death in the Family. It’s as if they said “We can’t top the last issue. There are no more Batman and Jason Todd stories to be told. Let’s kill the little punk off.”
No lie: That was the very first Batman comic book I ever bought after being a Marvel brat for the first half-dozen years of my comic book life. Awesome issue.
It’s not murder-murder, just indirect murder.
Man, that one panel of Batman with the battery over his head… If I were that henchman, he wouldn’t even have to throw it, I’d have soiled myself instantly. Talk about striking fear.
Take that fanboys, Batman totally does follow the `I wont kill you, but I dont have to save you’ morality. Truly that comic is awesome and we have a lot to thank for it.
Actually, in Real life, an Olympic-level weightlifter is capable of making a six-foot jump straight up from a standing position.
It’s nothing to Batman.
I bought a run of comics a few years ago on eBay , and as a bonus, they threw in BATMAN #424 & BATMAN #425. I just rediscovered them not too long ago in a desk drawer, next to some Thor comics where Thor fights Dracula and a Spider-Man comic where Spidey becomes a Hulk..temporarily.
Hey, I have those issues! I must have been like eight or nine when I read them. The one where Jason Todd throws a guy off the balcony left me with the impression that Robin II was a badass, despite the elf shoes.
In fact, this wasn’t the only insane Batman comic I read around the same time. I seem to remember another one with a mummified head on the cover and then a copy issues where a copycat Batman goes around brutally slaughtering criminals while imagining they’re the Joker and Two-Face.
Good times.
Am I the only one who finds all the gruff, short yellow-box usage (combined with cold, calculating enjoyment of inflicting harm upon criminals) reminiscent of Frank Castle?
Earlofthercs, you know, after all the times that he’s allowed the Joker to apparently fall to his death (although, since it’s the Joker, I suppose its possible no one expected him to actually die), I’m sure that Batman only saves bad guys when he feels like it.
In fact, this wasn’t the only insane Batman comic I read around the same time. I seem to remember another one with a mummified head on the cover and then a copy issues where a copycat Batman goes around brutally slaughtering criminals while imagining they’re the Joker and Two-Face.
OH MAN! Those were another couple of issues I had when I was a kid. They are fantastic. Especially those covers: “ONE BATMAN TOO MANY!” and “NOTHING SO SAVAGE… AS A MAN DESTROYING HIMSELF!”
Those are next.
Hey man
I just got back from I-Con yesterday, and while I was pullin’ the 3-for-a-buck books (tight budget these days), I found this issue.
Juts funnier than hell. Nothing stereotypical about the villain at all.
And Bats holding a gun?
The classic Starlin script where, if it’s not a pious epic cosmic religious saga, he just doesn’t know how to wrap up an ending. Kinda like when Saturday Night Live would just end skits because they ran out of gas.
Thanks for bringing this up to my attention!
-Dr.Ink!