As a service to our readership, each installment of Warrior Wisdom Fridays will provide an inspirational (and actual) quote from the Ultimate Warrior so that those who read it may take it to heart and reflect on how it may improve their lives. Installments of WWF should be accompanied by fifteen to twenty minutes of meditation and reflection, aided by soft music or strong herbal tea.
It’s…. it’s like the writings of Robert Frost.
(But without punctuation.)
Enlightenment is often seen as insanity to the unenlightened.
The problem with Warriorology — and I grant it’s a valid religion — is that it’s deeply in need of a clergy to translate the wisdom for laymen. When The Ultimate talks of the nuclear war taking part in the power of his body, is that sort of like the Holy Trinity but only twice as rad?
Alan: Congratulations! Through your pursuit of enlightenment, you are now eligible to become a Grand Cardinal in the Warriorology faith.
I WILL NOT RUN IN DEFEAT
I WILL NOT FEEL THE DISGUST
YOU WANT ME TO FEEL.
Surprisingly emo sentiments from the Warrior.
He is more than an unstoppable fighting machine. He also feels, you heartless bastards! He is a human being! -choke-
Awwww, no “Hoakogan” today?
Now if only we could get Warrior to do a spoken word performance of, say, Morrissey. Like how Shatner did for Elton John’s Rocket Man. :)
Awwww, no “Hoakogan†today?
Believe it or not, the Warrior cut more than one promo.
With the right lyric spacing this could be a Morrissey song.
(That’ll teach me to post after only skimming the other comments.)
“Awwww, no “Hoakogan†today?
Believe it or not, the Warrior cut more than one promo.”
To be fair, only true scholars like yourself can actually discern this with 100% confidence.
Also, this:
http://wrestling.insidepulse.com/2009/09/18/court-no-sells-ultimate-warriors-suit-against-wwe/
Yes, I’m linking to myself, but I think everyone who reads this should know that Warrior can’t sue WWE even though they made a DVD just to slander him.
Say what you like about the tenets of Warriorology, Dude, but at least it’s an ethos.
Actually, there is a theory among destrucitologists that all the Warrior promos form a continuous work, a cycle or saga if you will, and that though they contain wisdom on their own they yield much greater knowledge when considered in the context of the unfolding text.
Doing whippets also helps, apparently.
CHRIST SHAMS! GO TO THE LEARNING TREE OF DESTRUCTITY! SURELY THERE WITHIN YOU WILL FIND MANY KICKS TO THE HEAD! BUT ANSWER THIS IF YOU ARE OF THE MIND TO ANSWER! COULD GOD CREATE A PANEL OF FACEKICKING SO AWESOME THAT IT WOULD KICK GOD IN THE FACE HIMSELF! WHILE YOUR PLANE GOES DOWN… OH, YOU WERE ON A PLANE WHEN THIS ALL HAPPENED I FORGOT TO MENTION IT AND AM TOO BUSY TO COPY EDIT! SO, YEAH, THERE’S LIKE A PLANE AND… REMEMBER HOW I BEAT THE HONKY TONK MAN THAT ONE TIME? DID YOU SEE HOW SANTINO MARELLA NEEDED HELP TO NOT LOSE TO HIM? I MEAN…. STATABTA MARELLA, QUEERING DON’T MAKE YOUR CANOLIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
YEAH, UH, IT DOESN’T MAKE YOUR CANOLIS DELICIOUS! ALSO, CANOLIS WON’T MAKE YOU HAVE ABS LIKE ME! OR JOHN MORRISON! YOU SHOULD CUT OUT THE STARTCHES, SATANTA SPORTS! WAIT, WHEN DID I START CUTTING A PROMO ON SANTINO MARELLA? WHERE AM I? WHY IS THIS CAPS LOCK ON! WHY IS THAT MAN SAYING MY VAGINA IS HAUNTED? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO ANITA BLAKE, DON’T NOT DO SOMETHING IN YOUR COMICS!
Thank you. We’ve been Destruicity, a comments section tribute the Ultimate Warrior. Coming up next, the Razor Ramon Interventionists!
Why are some people referring to it as “Warriorology?” Clearly we are just exploring the wonders of Destrucity. We have already made the sacrifice.
Hooooo. Kogan.
I love that there’s already a schism in Warrior’s philosophy. I’d love to see the varying interpretations of whatever he’s saying.