Cobra Commander believes in Brotherhood.
Cobra Commander believes in America.
And I believe… in Cobra Commander.
A full list of things Cobra Commander believes in, including Weather Domination, Brain-Wave Scanning, the value of a well-placed kick when training a dog and the MARS Corporation’s affordable laser rifles is available upon request under the Freedom of Information Act.
Are you still stuck on this bipartisan bullshit, Chris? Why not discuss a candidate who actually respects the constitution and wants to help taxpayers? Someone who wants to keep the government out of our private lives and away from our PGP encryption keys? Someone who wants to bring America back to its roots and values?
I’m speaking, of course, of Zartan, who’s running as an independent without the “big money” machine that has plagued our government. Of course, you’re probably too chickenshit to look at a candidate who doesn’t have a nice headquarters like the Terrordrome or someone who can’t buy airtime thanks to financing by people like Tomax and Xamot. Just like a Cobracrat: afraid to look at things beyond your narrow view. I feel a little sorry for you.
Kevin, come on.
Zartan just says what you want him to say. He looks just like who you want him to look like.
Zartan is like the ULTIMATE flip-flopper.
Until Doctor Doom gets his hypnoray back from Spider-Man and his ‘Amazing’ ‘Friends’ I’m not going back to the States and certainly not voting. Come to think of it once Doom gets his hypnothingy back we won’t have to vote anyway.
Ah. The system works.
If Cobra Commander gets elected I’m moving to Cybertron.
ROM!
I still believe in Harvey Dent.
I dunno, I think Harvey Dent’s sentencing policies are a little lenient. On average, twelve and a half percent of Dent’s three-time offenders are right back out on the streets, free to commit more crimes. (Sure, the other 87.5% are dead, but should we let anyone beat the system like that?)
No, this year I’m voting for Obadiah Stane. I like his foreign policy goals, I admire his use of motorcycles as weapons, and the man’s got heart. Specifically, he’s got Tony Stark’s heart, which he ripped out and hid in a briefcase.
Hell with Cobra Commander. Vote the Zordon/Harry Dresden ticket in ’08.
As usual, I will be voting for perpetual presidential candidate Man-E-Faces. I know he has no shot, but I feel like I’ve done my civic duty by voting for him every election.
John Seavey, I’m with you. The most insightful political commentary for many a month. You can’t help but get behind a candidate who prefers motorcycles to platform planks to get his point across.
I totally agree Chris. In November, the country will be filled with blue and red bumper stickers that say, “Yes We Shall!”
I’m not entirely comfortable with Commander’s stance on imprisoning enemy combatants. With Guantanamo, it’s possible at some point to meet with legal counsel. Don’t know many lawyers willing to dig through a volcano to a buried freighter to meet with their clients.
call me crazy, but your dark horse ticket to watch is Blanka-Funshine Bear…
Unless I’m mistaken, Cobra Commander is disqualified from the Presidency, on account of his being a foreign national, i.e., a citizen of Cobra-La.
Zartan is not a good candidate. Yeah, there’s the chameleon thing, yada, yada, yada… but who runs his Campaign? Dreadnoks. Who were founding members? Buzzer, Torch and Ripper. Where are they from? England…. and Tazmania (is that even a real nation?)
We want to move the country forward. What does wikipedia, the most democratic thing in the universe, say about one of the Dreadnoks?
“Ripper is angry, violent, and anti-social”
Is this what America needs?
(Paid for by the Committee to Elect Cobra Commander)
And Chris, did you see the new Old Spice commercial? You’re gonna love it. It has a centaur…..showering……naked.
“I’m two things” he says, and in walks a woman in a bathrobe.
A bow-legged woman.
:O
The Cobra symbol substitute for the 0 looks like a vulva
A Crimson Guard uniform in every closet, a laser rifle on every table — a vision of America we can all get behind IMO.
Cobra Commander for president has been on G4’s Attack of the Show for at least six months. Stop stealing your content.
Golly, Truth, I liked you better when you were telling kids it’s not cool to smoke.
I am Cobra Commander and I approve this message.
Damn it. GI Joe cartoon and comics continuity are totally different.
There is no Cobra-La in the comics. Hell, there wasn’t even a comics adaptation of GI Joe the Movie.