25 thoughts on “When You’re At A Moral Crossroads…

  1. Scowl, sneer, and shoot straight through the heart.

    (Damn fine taste in pipes, though.)

  2. Legend has it that Lee Van Cleef was supposed to be in the original Magnificent Seven, but James Coburn, Steve McQueen, Charles Bronson, and Yul Brynner were all too scared of him to be on the set at the same time.

  3. Would the fabric of space-time rip asunder if Lee and Clint Eastwood got into a glaring contest?

    We all know neither would back down, and sooner or later, the laws of physics would buckle under the unbearable stress.

  4. @ CHV:

    Didn’t you see “The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly”? The big shoot-out starts out with, like, 5-10 minutes of nothing but them glaring at each other and Eli Wallach.

  5. Yes. LVC would shoot you. And then he would destroy Chuck Norris for the sniveling upstart that he is.

    He’s ALSO a Master Ninja, don’t forget. ;)

  6. WWLVCD? Just remember this: When you’re paid, you always follow the job through. But you know that.

  7. Remember, friends, even Van Cleef has faltered. We who have seen Master Ninja know this all too well.

  8. There are only two types of people in the world, my friend:

    Those who get out of the way when Lee Van Cleef walks by, and corpses.

  9. True Story – Lee Van Cleef was originally born Lee Smith. His parents changed their family last name out of fear one sunny afternoon, after watching baby Lee spell out “Van Cleef” with his building blocks and proceed to stare them down with his cold, dead eyes.

  10. I am proud of you.

    Whenever I think that the ISB couldn’t become cooler, you highlight a legend that very few people could comprehend, fathom…or even understand.

    Lee Van Cleef, indeed.

    Well played, Mr. Sims, well played.

  11. I heard once, that every night before he goes to bed, Chuck Norris punches himself in the face 6 times. Once for each word in the sentence, “You are not Lee Van Cleef.”

    Then he curls up in a nest of blankets and weeps softly for an hour.

  12. Damn, that’s what’s been going wrong with my life; Ive never asked that question before.

    Alright, this is my new motto.

    Watch the news for a spate of violent stare related shootings in Ballarat, Australia.

  13. Even in ‘Master Ninja’, though, he was cool. Everything around him was a vortex of uncool, but he remained resolute, the Rock of Gibraltar…of Coolness.

    “So what ancient ninja weapon did you do that to him with?”
    “My hand.”

  14. Lee Van Cleef will kidnap you, stick a bomb in your arm, and tell you to save the President.

    You want like it, but you’ll do it.

  15. Lee Van Cleef will take an angry isolated young man and teach him to use a gun as the ultimate in therapy. Afterwards, he’ll explain to people that its their own damn fault his protege is shooting up the town.
    All self help books should be written by Lee Van Cleef.

  16. He would drill you in the forehead with a massive throwing star and then vanish in a puff of blue-grey smoke.