Wrestler Wisdom Fridays #5



Each week, the ISB endeavors to enlighten our readers by offering the unedited words of the Warrior Scholars of the squared circle, for who among us cannot benefit from the wisdom of Macho Madness, Hulkamania, or the American Dream? The instruction we offer should be considered carefully, meditated on, and applied to one’s own life for the enrichment of the self and others.

16 thoughts on “Wrestler Wisdom Fridays #5

  1. I’m tired of the bathroom humor and boogers and semen too, but I don’t know if it’s fair to say that sports entertainment mocks God (I think that was the implication, the way he said it.)

    I mean, just read the Old Testament. Or as I like to call it, holy wrestling fiction.

    …Or, as I should say, as I like to call it NOW. Because I’m certainly going to use this line the next chance I get.

  2. Kid Nicky- If I remember correctly it was one of those worked shoot angles they used to be so fond of doing. This speech was what they used to get Joey Styles off of RAW, but I forget why he was announcing RAW in the first place.

    And I think the “mocking God” bit was because Vince McMahon had just wrestled a tag team match with God as his partner.

  3. Yeah, the mocking God bit was because Vince McMahon had feuded with Shawn Michaels, who is a born again Christian.

    This became part of the feud, he’d constantly mock that “God” couldn’t help him, had a tag match with Shawn where Shawn’s partner was “God” (which was a spotlight shining on the ring), and he actually went to a church and did random shit.

    And yeah, this was a “worked shoot,” where someone inexplicably acts like they’re breaking from the script, yet the speech is still actually planned.

  4. Worked shoot interview/Joey Styles, Oh My God!/Happy Quitsgiving!


    And Styles was on Raw because Vince was on his semi-annual “JR isn’t a good announcer, let’s get rid of him” push. How they though Styles would be a more WWE-style commentator I do not know.

    Also, why are all the best worked shoot interviews from ECW guys? Heyman, RVD and Styles have all done STUNNING work like this. It’s rather odd.

  5. BringTheNoise,

    Probably because they’re still speaking from the heart. It’s much like how the best/most enduring characters often come from emphasizing a part of the wrestler’s own personality.

  6. I remember this one. We were all pretty sick of male cheerleaders by that point. Except now Nicky from the Spirit Squad is Dolph Ziggler.

    And Happy Quitsgiving, Chris.

  7. “We?” Speak for yourself. Trampoline-based offense was too revolutionary for the WWE… could’ve made the world a brighter place.

    And it’s a shame that Joey Styles turned out to be ABSOLUTELY INSANE. I liked him a lot before his twitter escapades, too.

  8. I was at the PPV were God was on the card. He had special entrance music and everything. It was amazing. Especially the part when Vince told him to “dance his ass out of here”.

  9. This was surprisingly recent, at least compared to the usual Wrestler Wisdom rants, and this above all was my favorite, probably of all time.

    I was so happy because I agreed with everything he said except the part about God. I think the concept of God should be mocked constantly, and I loved the spotlight slowly moving down the ramp. If you don’t openly mock God once in a while and show the lack of repercussions, how will people know he doesn’t exist?

    The part that sucked was when Styles turned on the fans towards the end of the rant, because that vilified every valid point he had just made. It means that they are aware of the flaws in their product, and yet they feel no remorse and make a villain out of anyone who holds it against them.

    I would absolutely love having no color commentator. Someone who has the job of being wrong about everything all the time is among the dumbest ideas I’ve ever seen. No commentary would be best for me, but color is the worst. And while I have no problem with silliness of course, the bathroom humor and childish behavior really drag things down.

    And I will never, ever call wrestlers “superstars”. That was possibly my favorite part of this rant, but apparently it did not fit into the space of that photograph, sadly. It’s like calling everyone “special”. If everyone is a superstar, it’s the same thing as nobody being a superstar.

  10. Professional wrestling is stupid as hell, guys. I mean, I like coked up ranting from avid steroid users as much as the next man, but fuck this “oh man THE PRODUCT” bullshit.