As some of you may have noticed, the ol’ meme where you list fifty things you love about comics is making the rounds again. In the time I’ve been doing the ISB, I’ve seen this one come around at least twice–I actually think Sterling has a list that goes up to around four thousand or something–but I’ve always held back.
I do, after all, tend to talk about that stuff on a daily basis, so my thinking’s always been that if you really want to hear about fifty things I love about comics, hang around for a month or so and I’ll probably get ’em all.
Still, it’s always nice to have it all in once place.
1. The pure, unmatched beauty that is this page:
2. DEVILS OF DARKSEID!! THE TERRAIN ITSELF IS “TECHNO-ACTIVE!”
3. Mr. Fantastic hooking Thor’s hammer up to Iron Man’s armor and powers up his Time Sled so that they can all team up with Galactus to fight the Black Celestial.
4. A tank haunted by the ghost of a Confederate general that fights Nazis, occasionally doing so with a gorilla.
5. Batman keeps a Dalek in his basement, just in case.
6. Clobberin’ Time.
7. Jimmy Olsen, who was a member of the Legion of Super-Heroes and had an International Fan Club, based solely on the fact that he hung out with Superman sometimes.
8. All Things MODOK.
12. Batman, the Punisher, and Darkhawk all have perfect records when fighting against bears.
13. The Warriors Three.
14. Well, mostly Volstagg, but still.
15. “Don’t be silly, I’m the most powerful man in Metropolis.” “Not anymore.”
17. Bill Mantlo on Marvel Two-In-One.
18. Kevin Maguire on Justice League International.
19. Bob Haney on some unidentifiable mix of jive-talk-inducing chemicals.
20. Kirby Dots (or Kirby Krackle, both of which would be fantastic names for delicious candy).
21. Spidey Super Stories:
22. Batroc Ze Leapair!
23. The Joker’s Five-Way Revenge.
24. “OKAY! I had to fight a dude to get with her! I fought a crazy seven-foot-tall purple-suited dude! And I had to fight 96 guys to get to him, too! He was flying and shooting lightning bolts from his eyes and he could make people do whatever he said automatically! He was totally awesome! And I kicked him so far he saw the curvature of the Earth!!”
25. “No rest for the wicked awesome.”
26. “You dare to beg for mercy? You–who have none in your wretched heart? You–who have caused death and grief and suffering–with no pity save for yourself? You are vermin, Jock Parker! You are human slime! I’ll waste no hell-fire on the likes of you! No…I’ll send you into death’s icy embrace–WITH MY OWN BARE HANDS!”
27. “I have heard the word… and it is battle.”
28. Balder the Brave.
29. The greatest team in comics history: Section 8.
30. Every Single Thing About This Panel:
31. Power Man.
32. Iron Fist.
33. Power Man and Iron Fist.
34. The Suicide Squad.
35. Slam Bradley.
36. In Avengers #1, the Hulk disguises himself as a robot clown who can juggle elephants. Because apparently, robot clowns that could juggle elephants were common enough in 1963 that nobody would stop to think that maybe that was actually the Hulk.
37. The Ever-Constant Citizens of Riverdale, USA.
39. The Legion of Substitute Heroes.
40. GODDAMN NAZI FRANKENSTEIN MONKEY!!
41. Firestorm and his infinitely terrible rogues gallery.
43. The Spirit and his nigh-constant head injuries.
44. The Cowboy Wally Show.
45. Ambush Bug’s political affiliation:
46. OMAC #2, Pages 2 and 3.
47. “Look Out, Alpha! The Wrecking Crew’s Gonna @#%$ You Up!”
48. Watchmen #5.
49. Count Dante.
50. The fact that Thor can’t lift it, the Hulk can’t lift it, but by God, when Aunt May’s life is on the line Spider-Man Can!
And a heck of a lot more besides.