You know, I’d assumed that with the two month gap between the first and second issues of the series, Laurenn J. Framingham’s Anita Blake: Vampire Hunter: The Laughing Corpse: Book Two: Necromancer was going to be a bimonthly title. And yet, here we are with a new issue, a mere five weeks later. And it feels like only seconds.
But in any case, it’s out, and it once again falls to the ISB Research Department to do our scholarly duty by illuminating the many, many questions that the series raises (chief among them why it’s still getting published). However, at this point, I’m not doing it so much as a work of literary criticism as I am to further the cause of science, because if they can figure out how to actually make less happen in this comic, I’m pretty sure reading it will send you back in time.
So strap on a pair of goggles, do your part for SCIENCE!, grab a copy of your own and follow along!
0.0: The cover to this issue not only features a well-known landmark, St. Louis’s historic Hotel Necromancer…
…but has also introduced my new favorite supporting character:
The Hooker Who Regrets The Life Choices That Have Led Her To Be On the Cover of an Anita Blake Comic Book.
1.1: You know, far be it from your humble annotator to criticize, but when you’re trying to establish that your lead character is a badass without actually having any… whaddayacallem… oh yeah, events in your novel, you might want to shy away from first-person narration about how physically weak she is when compared to other characters, especially in scenes where she looks like a card-carrying member of the Lollipop Guild.
1.2: Despite what you may have heard about how every scene in a well-written work should reveal character or advance the plot, I assure you that this…
…is completely necessary.
2.5: Prepare for trouble… and make it do–oh my God are you for real?!
So let me get this straight. You’re telling me that not only were eight pages of this guy in the last issue not enough, but the entire function of Charlie was to show up and announce that he had obligations that were more important than the actual plot (which, at this point, is just about anything) so that Anita would have to go back in and have another five-page conversation that’ll be followed by six pages of riding in a car?!
Guys… I’m starting to suspect that this thing might not be very good.
3.3: I’m not sure what this has to do with questioning prostitutes, but…
…Anita is clearly asking for Backup
6.4: Just a reminder, folks:
Given that this is a comic book, and the readers are perfectly capable of seeing Jean-Claude’s eyes and determining what he looks like ourselves–I’m going to go ahead and go with “an extremely pallid Criss Angel“–then the only reason this caption was included is because someone thought it was so good that the story would suffer without it.
7.2: Jean-Claude mentions here that he can “feel the street”–seriously, he says that–but Framingham leaves it unclear as to whether or not he can also feel it comin’ in the air tonight, oh lord. What we do know, however, is that a drum solo certainly would’ve livened up the six-page drive through Downtown St. Louis.
10.4: As a novel, The Laughing Corpse was originally released in 1994, which has led your humble annotator to believe that certain dialogue, like Anita’s line in this panel…
…could do with a bit of sprucing up:
11.4: Pffftahahahahaa!
Yeah, Anita, I don’t think that’s going to be much of a problem.
11.1: Anita, if you’ll remember, brought Jean-Claude along to the Red-Light District in the hopes that his intimidating presence would keep her from being harassed by the rabble. Jean-Claude, if you’ll recall, is wearing a frilly poet shirt open to the waist and a pair of thigh-high leather boots.
This is not, it would seem, a very menacing look. I mean, I think I could take that guy out, and in case you missed it, I’m a comics blogger. We’re not a very threatening bunch.
15.4: Okay, I’ve got to admit: This panel got a genuine, non-ironic chuckle out of me.
The prostitute in question is, of course, Wheelchair Wanda, the former girlfriend of The Big Lebowski Harold Gaynor that Anita’s been looking for for about eight issues now, for reasons that–as someone who has read every page of this series multiple times–I’m still not quite clear on.
16.2: Yeah, about this.
Don’t hold your breath, sweetheart.
The tears of joy this brought me glittered in the light of my monitor like dark glass.
You posted an image of what is clearly a tranny Joker without comment?
Jesus wept.
Okay, Anita Blake fans who think this was one of the “better” novels and that it just caught a bad break with this adaptation, I have a question, serious as cancer. If the answer is “yes,” then, Scout’s Honor, I will buy and read an Anita Blake novel. Here goes:
Wheelchair Wanda obviously works the streets, rather than having an apartment or going to people’s places. Therefore, if someone wants to engage her services, do they have to pick her up in a special van with a lift? Does LKF describe this process in this or any other books? Because that would turn me around on her completely.
In the pages I didn’t bother with, they go back to Anita’s apartment and Jean-Claude carries her up the stairs while Anita brings up the wheelchair, so one assumes they put the wheelchair in the trunk and drove her across town. Shockingly, there aren’t ANOTHER six pages devoted to the car ride back, or we’d know for sure.
The More You Know.
Well I’ll be jiggered. Looks like I have to stop at the library tomorrow.
Wait, I said “buy.” Darn it.
You did specifically ask “Anita Blake fans who think this was one of the “better†novels and that it just caught a bad break with this adaptation”. Unless I’m missing something in the reviews I don’t think Chris qualifies.
I swear, if sales start to drop into the danger zone on this title I’ll start buying it just so Chris can keep reviewing it. I need the laughs.
I think if they manage to get to later novels, you will find that things get less eventful and make sense, as Anita does on occassional reveal important plot points and developments while she is getting nailed by one or two guys.
“you will find that things get less eventful ”
…what?
Did you just say *less* eventful?
Do anyone else think that 15.4 panel was probably ghostwritten by Bendis?
Is it me, or does Anita Blake have the world’s largest zit on her cheek in panel 10.4?
It would appear that the more colons there are in a title, the less action there is in the book.
Tomorrow you’ll review the other half of the comic, right? There IS another half, right? One where something happens?
Cuz if there isn’t…oh god.
Awwwww….you missed out on making a Veronica Mars reference regarding Backup which would give you some badly needed street cred that you lost by, well, reading Anita Blake. I’m not sure where Team Rocket falls on the continuum, though.
“I think if they manage to get to later novels, you will find that things get less eventful and make sense, as Anita does on occassional reveal important plot points and developments while she is getting nailed by one or two guys.”
Don’t forget the were-leopard she hooks up with and the pages spent describing how his is the most enormous penis she’s ever seen. Considering how many she sees in the course of these books, she must be something of an expert.
“I’m a comics blogger. We’re not a very threatening bunch.”
Some of us are.
“It would appear that the more colons there are in a title, the less action there is in the book.”
This isn’t an ass joke, is it?
0.0 alt text: Based on the cover, I think that Hotel Necromancer is the sort you only rent for a few hours. I doubt one would need to stay there all night to raise anything.
15.4: Wheelchair Wanda has arms like toothpicks. She looks like she could move herself maybe half a block, and then her arms would fall off.
You know, if nothing is going to happen in my comics, I’d rather at least buy something by Chris Ware or Dan Clowes. Then I might be able to impress the indie girl at the record store.
Heckblazer:
You’re not alone. I keep thinking of the scar that thing can cause.
1. OK, finally I think I “get” this comic:
It’s a sneaky attempt to make a “commercial” version of Samuel Beckett’s play WAITING FOR GODOT (though actually more stuff happens in Beckett’s play than in the entire Anita Blake comic so far).
2. About panel 6.4: If Jean-Claude’s chin gets any pointier than that, it’ll pierce his chest.
3. Is Anita Blake visibly shrinking with each issue? (“The Incredible Shrinking Vampire Hunter”? Interesting concept there.) Or is it just me…??
:-S
Shouldn’t that be ‘glittering in the dark glass like neon signs’? The way it’s written doesn’t seem physically possible.
Also, Wheelchair Wanda is an actual character and not a weird, vaguely insulting one-off joke? Urban Fantasy Soft Erotica can’t possibly be THIS big a hack field, can it? You can’t just write every character as “sexy, conflicted, and __________” and get away with it, right?
In panel 16.2 is Wheelchair Wanda’s mouth supposed to be open and those are her teeth or is she wearing the shiniest, most reflective lipstick known to man?
If they just hired Sims to write his annoted notes and actually published them as footnotes in the comic, Anita Blake and Tarot would be in the top every month. I soooo look forward to these.
Tim C:
I don’t think they got to it in this issue *SPOILER ALERT* but there’s at least two paragraphs in the novel about how Anita has to ensure that the cab she calls for Wanda is wheelchair-accessible.
Awwwww….you missed out on making a Veronica Mars reference regarding Backup which would give you some badly needed street cred
Yes, because when I think “street cred,” the first thing that comes to mind is referencing Veronica Mars.
Whoa, there’s a Dresden Files book that I didn’t know about, with a cover by Mike Mignola, starring my favorite non-Murphy character, and there’s just enough time for me to order it for my dad’s birthday? Chris, I think I love you.
Oh yeah, Anita Blake. Is it just me, or is the art getting worse with every issue? Fig 6.4 looks like it was drawn by a 13-year old and posted on DeviantArt. The alt text makes up for it, though.
You know, I read these annotations and go, “Huh, I remember that scene! But somehow a lot more happened in the books…”
And then I thought about all of the scenes watching people sleep (namely Jean-Claude), or waiting around silently, etc, and I suddenly see your point… Damn you, Anita Blake and everyone involved in making these novels/comics/apparently a tv movie!
Erin- you might have to check out Jim Butchers site to get Backup – it was a limited run novella that fits in before Backup.
Just saying.
Meanwhile. I will continue to imagine Anita facing off against Thomas and his sister and laugh merrily to myself.
Fits in before Turncoat that is. Ergh
You know, I heard there’s a point in time where she gets an “ardeur” which essentially some kind of all-powerful, insatiable sex aura where she has to bone someone, anyone, at least 3 times a day or more. That’ll put an interesting spin on comic book action if it ever gets that far. How will she ever be able to do detective work in these pages between all the uneventful sex she won’t be having?
I guess you weren’t drunk enough to offer to write it for a dollar, but I’d totally read your The Hooker Who Regrets The Life Choices That Have Led Her To Be On the Cover of an Anita Blake Comic Book mini-series if it ever existed. Seems like a lot of potential there.
Guys… I’m starting to suspect that this thing might not be very good.
Oh, come on, give it time! Damn you, Sims, always jumping to conclusions after one or two dozen issues.
Presumably those life choices involve a botched facial reconstruction after a car accident. Or being half-lizard.
I’m convinced they’re just drawing this out in hopes that the license will lapse before they have to do the porn books.
i assumed it was reconstructive surgery after getting hit in the face with a frying pan.
Wait . . . was that the whole comic?
I stopped after page 16. It goes on to page 22, but–shockingly enough–not much happens on the remaining six.
PLEASE tell me on page 17 the wheelchair-bound hooker whips out a .45 and throws down a la Sin City and it’s a firefight right to the finish line.
i find it kind of scary that Butcher was “discovered” by LKH’s agent.
that said, these Anita Blake books are far better than the later ones. where she has boring sex on every page.
not that “far better” is a huge stretch.
i found it almost bothered me that it took LKH over 300 pages in her latest book to get to the fornication. almost.
nd yet, here we are with a new issue, a mere five weeks later
That’s because she’s been avoiding working on the novel that was originally supposed to be published in October and has now been pushed ahead to December and is not only not done yet, there isn’t even a first draft of it yet.
Readers who work in publishing will appreciate how deeply, deeply she is screwing the lives of dozens of other people up with this.
i find it kind of scary that Butcher was “discovered†by LKH’s agent.
She (Merrilee Heifetz) was Neil Gaiman’s agent first, so.
sammy–I just ordered it off of Amazon and it didn’t say it was out of stock or anything, but Amazon can be funny about that kind of thing.
Personally I was imagining Murphy kicking Anita in the face, but Thomas and his sister work too. Hell, they can all team up to kick her ass. I’m not going to stop them.
Okay, thanks to the wonders of e-books and insomnia, I’m back with my honor intact.
Guys, this is not a good book. I know she was a young author, and I know maybe it catches readers at the right time in their lives, and God knows I appreciate the way Anita’s coffee snobbery and fascination with halogen flashlights captures the zeitgeist of the mid-90’s (She keeps WHOLE BEANS? In her FREEZER? WILD!). Still, not too great.
Ms. Hamilton, good luck in your future endeavors. Congratulations on your success and accomplishments. I hope this series has made you so much money that you swim around in a big Scrooge McDuck vault full of gold and that you have personal fulfillment out the wazoo. Chris, as never before, thank you for taking this bullet for us all.
Wow. Just… wow.
You know, I wonder how the Anita Blake comics sell compared to the Mercy Thompson comics. I mean, they’re polar opposites. Anita ever bashed an attacking werewolf in the nose with a wrench?
Wait, there are Mercy Thompson comics?
Yeah, Dabel Brothers has been publishing a mini-series. MERCY THOMPSON: HOMECOMING. According to Amazon, the hardcover’s slated to be released in late August. And it’s a new story, not an adaptation. I’ve been liking it. The art, the writing, lots of stuff happens, and Stefan could kick Jean-Claude’s butt.
Six whole pages you didn’t review? Sims, we’re going to have to cut your pay in half for that. How will we find out what happens before the next issue comes out in December?
your pay
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaha.
These recaps are hilarious and awesome, Chris. And since I just read that Twilight, another supernatural series with vampires were nothing actually happens, is also getting a comic, I can only hope you’ll recap those too!
http://shelf-life.ew.com/2009/07/15/twilight-comic-book-manga/
If you think that this is bad, wait until her recent work starts being made into a comic. Porn and angst – and not much else. She doesn’t even go to work most of the time and the murder mystery is no mystery at all (if there is even a murder to be solved). In the last book, a major bad-guy was killed off-screen. Oh, and Anita had sex with a 16-year-old. Something to look forward to, huh? (that was sarcasm, just to be very clear)
I can’t read the small episodes of the comic- I wait until they’re all consolidated together into the one story then buy it.
LKH is a great character-driven, narrative writer so there’s no way the comic can do the story any justice without that strong voice element but I definitely enjoy having visuals.
The comic is a great companion to the books but on its own it’s weak.
So READ THE BOOKS! then look at the pretty pictures.
LKH is a great character-driven, narrative writer
I’m gonna stop you right there.
There’s some excellent info here I will be able to definitely take note