Chris vs. Previews: May 2007, Round One

A new month brings many things, and along with the relaunch of the ISB–which I plan on continuing to reference in the introductions to every post I write for the next six months or so–the flipping of the calendar can mean only one thing: The New Previews Catalog.



That’s right, folks: Strap yourselves in for another two-day thrill ride as the ISB takes on another six hundred pages of stuff you don’t need, yet really, really want! Tonight, it’s me up against the major publishers, and it all starts now!



Dark Horse Comics

P.45 – Empowered v.2: It goes without saying that I’m ordering this thing, but I’ve got to say, I’m pretty surprised that it’s coming out. Don’t get me wrong: it’s not that I’m surprised Dark Horse would publish it or anything–since getting the phenomenal Adam Warren to do two hundred pages of a hot super-heroine with low self-esteem and a perpetually shredded skin-tight costume getting tied up and having sex is pretty much a license to print money–it’s just that I’m surprised that it’s coming out so soon after the first one. Admittedly, “soon” in this context means “around six months,” but as someone with a jones for Warren’s Dirty Pair like a heroin addict on his third day of rehab, I’m used to waiting around a little longer for my fix.


P.49 – Kotobukiya Star Wars Episode III Jedi Moe Howard Vinyl Model Kit:

“Why for two cents, I’d turn to the Dark Side!”

“Oh yeah? Here’s your two cents!”

“Well I raised my price!”



DC Comics

P.71 – All-Star Batman and Robin the Boy Wonder #6: From the solicitation copy from this, the second or third time this book’s been solicited:

Plus, Black Canary isn’t the only one of Gotham’s fairer sex to be aroused into action by the Dark Knight’s war on crime!”

Now, not to nitpick here or anything–because Lord knows that nobody ever does that on the comics blogger internet–but I’m pretty sure the word you’re looking for is “roused.” I mean, “aroused” makes it sound like Frank Miller just writes about a bunch of who–

… Huh. Maybe that was the right word.


P.80 – DC/Top Cow: Crossover Classics TP: Okay, now I know they’re using the wrong words: There is no way anybody would apply the word “classic” to JLA/Cyberforce on purpose.

P.107: Alan Moore: The Complete WildC.A.T.S TP: No joke for this one (unless you count the fact that a friend of mine’s been two issues short of having this run for about a year and a half now); I just wanted to mention that Alan Moore’s WildC.A.T.S is a heck of a lot of fun and well worth thirty bucks. I mean, it’s worth fifteen just to find out that Grifter has a brother named “Max Cash.”

P.133: Happy-Ass New Frontier Action Figures:


Image Comics

P.140: Jack Kirby’s Silver Star HC: I’ll level with you, folks: My actual interest in sitting down to meet Morgan Miller: Homo Geneticus! is virtually nil, but there’s no way I could pass up something that advertises itself as having “explosive action and ham-fisted romance” while still justifying my purchase of Jack Kirby’s Galactic Bounty Hunters.


P.147 – The Bakers: Babies & Kittens HC: For those of you who have ever wondered what Family Circus would be like if it was, y’know, actually good instead of a mind-shattering glimpse into a world of madness and tedium, I can highly recommend the work of America’s Greatest Living Cartoonist, Kyle Baker.

P.165 – The Walking Dead #41: And now, to commemorate this month’s winner of the Economy Of Language Award, the ISB proudly presents the full text of this issue’s solicitation:

Death surrounds them.


P.179 – Madam Mirage #3: The 25-cent preview for Madame Mirage actually comes out later this week at finer and less-reputable comic book stores everywhere, and while I’m still holding out hopes for something that approaches the sheer joy of Dark Xena–the new Road Houseian standard by which all other comics must be judged–I’ve got to say: Any comic that promises a story that “radically changes the direction of the series and everything you think you know” about the main character before the first issue comes out is probably the most awesome thing ever, one way or the other.


Marvel Comics

P.20-24: Annihilation: Conquest Mini-Series: I managed to avoid Annihilation entirely, but I’ve been enjoying Nova enough to want to check it out, especially with Christos Gage (of Stormwatch PHD and the incredibly fun Union Jack) and Javier Grillo-Marxuach (of The Middleman) writing two of them.

Heck, I was even on the fence about Keith Giffen’s Star Lord mini-series, even though I don’t usually like his “cosmic” style stuff. And then they threw in… this guy:


And that’s when I knew it was on ’til the break of dawn.

P.37 – Immortal Iron Fist #7:



It’s probably worth assuming that I’m the only person who saw this cover and thought of Iron Fist’s floating skull rolling a saving throw on a giant spectral d20, right? Right.


P.59 – The Champions #1: Despite the fact that Marvel’s run into a bit of a snag over the fact that they don’t actually own the name “The Champions” anymore, a revival of the team that made its name fighting giant super-strong retarded hobos and a Nazi made of bees by Matt Fraction and Barry Kitson that sounds like the spiritual successor to Milligan and Allred’s X-Statix? Yeah, that’s about as close to a dream-come-true comic as I’m ever going to get, unless you count…



P.66 – MODOK’s 11 #1: So yeah. Marvel’s pretty much just putting ’em out for me now.

P.87 – Laurell K. Hamilton’s Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter: The First Death #1: When DBPro editor Sean J. Jordan first mentioned this series in the comments section of my Annotated Anita Blake #6, I misread the title as Anita Blake: FIST OF DEATH and immediately assumed that it would be everyone’s favorite pigment-challenged resurrectionist duking it out with the undead on the mean streets of Chinatown, but I think it’s safe to say that’s not what’s going to happen.

Sean, call me. We can work something out here.



And that’s it for the major publishers! Of course, there’s other stuff too, so if you’re wondering what I thought of Pajama Thor and a huge freakin’ hardcover of Devil Dinosaur, feel free to ask.

Otherwise, be here tonight as I hit the rest of the catalog and brave the grim and cheerless realm known as… “The Apparel Section!” DO YOU DARE MISS IT?!

19 thoughts on “Chris vs. Previews: May 2007, Round One

  1. ((sigh)) You do a wonderful public service. There has to be an award for this somewhere.

  2. Now, I think you are providing an AWESOME service, Chris, especially since I ALMOST bought a copy of Previews for my own perusal.
    I’m pretty sure I would have been driven insane from the true contents, much like what happens under the Pentagon.

  3. Mantlo/Mignola’s greatest joint creation bringing two fisted furry fury to the Marvel ‘verse. I. AM. SO. THERE.

  4. They can’t call it “Champions of Los Angeles” either, as I recall. I was given to understood that Marvel can’t put the word “Champions” in the title at all.

    I, too, am planning to buy Star Lord solely for Rocket Raccoon. I’m still surprised that, given all the stuff Marvel has put back out into trade, Rocky’s mini-series, which featured early Mike Mignola art, hasn’t been reprinted.
    Of course, I’m just cynical enough to think that Rocket Raccoon is only in this series to be killed, as he doesn’t fit Marvel’s current vision of grim, serious, politically relevant comics.

  5. How can you not’ve read Annihilation, it was only the best mini Marvel’s put out in, well, ever :p

  6. >>I misread the title as Anita Blake: FIST OF DEATH and immediately assumed that it would be everyone’s favorite pigment-challenged resurrectionist duking it out with the undead on the mean streets of Chinatown

  7. I’m actually ashamed to admit what I immediately thought “Anita Blake: Fist of Death” would be about.

    Sorry for the double post. I lost my handle on the first one somehow.

  8. I’m annoyed that I apparently will be able to buy a zombified Power Man Mini-Mate but never was able to get the still-alive Power Man from “Wizard.”

  9. Empowered v2 so soon? Awesome! I will now delay my plan of going into cryogenic freeze until season 4 of Battlestar Galactica starts.

  10. Yes all that’s good but who do you think broke up Namors house? And how much will he beat their asses?

  11. Tim C,

    If it makes you feel any better, given the current level of kinkiness in the Anita Blake books, I thought the title was “Fisting of Death.”

  12. Actually they DID kill RR: his pelt was seen nailed to a wall on a spaceship during the PAD/Gary Frank Hulk run.

    Giffen’s StarLord will also feature that other Great Mantlo Creation, Bug. TIK!

  13. Devil Dinosaur?
    I bought #1 poly-bagged at an antique store for $3 last week.
    It had less smoking jackets and giant revolvers than I expected.

  14. Completely off topic, but speaking of the zombified Power-Man…Luke Cage has unbreakable skin, right? So, uh…

    (Actually, I was gonna ask about Wolverine and the other heroes with healing factors, too, but decided I’d applied enough logic to the zombie world for one day.)

  15. All I can say is it’s damn refreshing to see toys depicting good guys who aren’t frowning or gritting their teeth.