28 thoughts on “Pop Quiz”

  1. A – Dinosaurs take Manhattan is obviously the best. I will prove it with maths:
    Spider-Man + Dinosaur + Crazy Dialog = Best

    Seriously, “That’s a lot of meat!”? Priceless.

  2. Crazy Awsome is a function of the Crazy factor, C, and the Awesome Factor, A.

    All three panels feature Spider-man, so the spider-portion of the awesome Factor is equal. (Dialogue, calculated per the Mighty Marvel Method, is a sub-set of Crazy, not Awesome). And further more a dinosaur (ds), a gorilla (gr) and any popular non-super-villian secondary antagonist in his stripy-Pyjamas all have equal awesome factor as per teh Blogosphere proof (ds=gr=jaMiEs=rb=nj=prt)

    So the question comes down to the Crazy Factor alone.

    And since the crazy factor is low in panels 2 (Gorrillas do think about Banannas) and 3 (JJJ regularly cheers on spidey villians on the news) even the mild (using the Bobs Haney and Kanigher scale) crazy factor of a dinosaur, in modern times, being called `meat’ is a significant factor to make panel 1 the most crazy awesome of these 3.

  3. [(Sandman ÷ Spider-Man) + (Hitler ‘stache – Hitler)] * Kid ‘n Play reference = x

    x = Crazy awesomest

  5. I was working this one out before I read the comments, only to discover Earlofthercs had already presented the basic formula I had come up with. All I really have to add is that “popular non-super-villain secondary antagonist in his stripy-Pajamas” is not a singular unit as presented in his basic thesis. Stripy is a multiplier to the awesomeness of the pajamas; rather than a single category. He also forgot to factor in the crazy factor of the “1000 mile stare” on the gorilla. It’s not enough to overcome the dinosaur being called meat, but it is relevant to the calculation.

    I so want a Spidey Super Stories essentials it’s not even funny.

  6. Dinosaurs > almost anything.

    Why’re you reading an instruction book on face painting?

  8. I love that Spidey doesn’t care about the dinosaurs walking around Manhattan per se, he’s just thinking about all the dino-meat he can sell to Fuddrucker’s afterwards. The only thing that could make this panel better would be a thought bubble reading “Ka-ching!” and a little dollar sign over Spidey’s head.

  13. (d+s+lol)f= a, where

    d=Dinosaur
    s=Spider-Man
    lol=Hilariously inappropriate dialog
    w=Unmentioned, yet mind-blowing, fact that Manhattan seems to also be covered in four feet of water
    a=Awesome

    QED.

  14. Gotta go with A… For one, it’s a dinosaur in the middle of the city, plus there appears to be a massive flood in progress. That right there would have won me over. The kicker though is that Spidey decided to choose his words very carefully in the midst of all the insanity. That is indeed a lot of meat and Spidey hungry.

  15. Is the dinosaur heading towards the Meatpacking District? Must…find….a way….to justify how Peter’s mind…works.

    Sorry, I’m no good at math.

  17. Well, we can see by inspection that both A and B are equally awesome, and that they are both more awesome than C. If you disagree then I’m afraid you will have to take it up with Science.

    Now, given that Awesomenety* of A = Awesomenety of B it would seem to the untrained eye that we have reached an impasse. But not so!

    For although they have the same Awesomenty, image A has an area of some 400×536, giving an area of 214400, while image B is a mere 300×382, or 114600. Ergo, with equal awesomenety, we find that, per pixel, image B is (214400/114600 = 1.87 (to 2 signigificant figures)) ALMOST TWICE AS AWESOME WHEN CONSIDERED ON A PIXEL BY PIXEL BASIS.

    *Awesomenety: Tecnical term for the amount of awesome contained in a given object or image.

  18. Dinosaurs + the use of the term “meat” in reference to dinosaurs > then mere dinosaurs.

    Now, gorillas + the use of captioned “bananas” also = the awesome.

    Just not quite as much as dinosaurs under the Brooklyn Bridge.

    Dinosaurs FTW.

  19. Yeah, Spidey vs dinos would be the best. It’s one of those “how will Spidey handle this one??” situations and thats where he really shines. How would he handle that anyway?

  20. and hes totally thinking “mmn..I wonder what that would taste like?” Obviously because MJ didnt pack him a lunch. And as we all know, Spider-man’s hunger > your hunger

  21. I think we need to look at the most recent film corollary to simplify this. In reverse order:

    C. As noted it is obviously Spider-Man 3. Spider-Man 3 was the direct opposite of crazy awesome (sane lame) so we know it cannot be C.

    B. Hollywood has slowed the pace of gorilla films since the heyday of primate cinema in the 1940’s and now it is just a trickle. Peter Jackson’s King Kong is the most recent that occurs to me and I find that it mildly crazy awesome. Perhaps after Speed Racer is released it can gain some strength.

    A. Giant lizard emerging from New York harbor? Obviously Cloverfield which was completely crazy awesome.

    There you go. A.

  22. To my surprise, I’m forced to go with B:

    Notice that B contains two very impressive comic book Awesomeness Quality Vectors (AQVs), to wit:
    1) A gorilla. I have never accepted the Blogosphere “Proof” that Gorillas and Dinosaurs have the same awesomeness value. The model ignores both the higher sales of gorilla comics and the feeling of coolness readers get by recognizing a reference to comics tradition (the Virgin’s Paradox). Apes also have a minimal “Geoff Johns Number” (the ratio between duration of tradition and self-indulgent callbacks of redundant characters). So I’ve added a Gorilla Factor – the specific amount a given gorilla improves a panel over, say, a dog thinking “Snausages!” and;
    2) FANCY DAN OF THE ENFORCERS!! Look! He’s right there, enjoying a day at the zoo with his best girl, Queen Medusa of the Inhumans! The “Sims Enforcers Coefficient” states that anything good is made proportionally more so by the Enforcers. Thus, where the awesomeness of panel B per se equals x, the end product can be expressed as: B=(GF+x)^(1+(EC/3)).

    Let’s say Panel A gets 5 out of 10 (where 10 is a Brontosaurus flying away in the Thanos Copter). And x=2 out of 10(per se awesomeness of a scarily-drawn animal thinking of an ironic food); Gorilla Factor=1.5 (pretty dull, as gorillas go); and (1+(Enforcer Coefficient/3)=4/3) gives us a value for B of 5.3. Astonishing but there it is. Now if the Brontosaurus’ auxiliary brain in its butt was also thinking “Bananas!” this would be no contest…

  23. I have to go with A. Dinosaurs, flood, meat. Awesome & etc. But look at the face of the gorilla in B. He seems hell-bent on getting some bananas.

  24. Regarding Spidey’s hunger, Travis:

    He is a Spider, man. He can catch the umpteen million insects flying around Manhattan and eat them.

  25. Regarding Spidey’s hunger, Reth B –

    Why bother catching umpteen million insects when there’s a big, fat, tender brontosaurus five feet in front of you?

    I mean, come on, man. That’s a lot of meat.

  26. Dinosaur takes manhatan
    dinosaur + man in tights x gay dialogue = crazy + awesome
    its really the allusion to man meat that does it or rather the illusion to giant purple dinosaur “meat”

  27. What my gorilla-oriented colleagues are forgetting is that the Crazy Awesomeness of an animal is in direct proportion to distance (in time/space) of displacement from native environment. So a gorilla wandering Manhattan is, indeed, fairly Crazy Awesome. But a dinosaur wandering Manhattan? The sheer temporal-spatial displacement factor puts it off the scale of Crazy Awesome, even if Spidey’s comment wasn’t there to add in a multiplier.

    (Obviously, this works in reverse as well. Dinosaurs in prehistoric times suffer a significant reduction in awesomeness, while an ape riding a dinosaur is unbelievably Crazy Awesome. See the pioneering ‘Devil Dinosaur’ studies of J. Kirby for more information.)

  28. B – the gorilla thinking about bananas in an excited way but with a confused look on his face is priceless and more than enough to trump A and C