Christmas Special: What The Hell, Supergirl?!

So just in case you were wondering why the children of October, 1959 suddenly burst into tears halfway through the new issue of Action Comics, I think I might’ve figured it out:



Wow. Good job, Kara.

Ironically enough, the story in question–“The Three Magic Wishes” from Action Comics #257–involves Supergirl using her powers to make sure that a group of young orphans don’t lose their childlike faith in fairy tales, which, as you might expect, includes a ridiculously complex plan involving lassoing a horse from a couple miles away and pulling it to her–which, really, just can’t be safe–and then tying up a child and blasting him with her heat vision. And yet, there she is right on page two, staring directly at the reader and pretty much ruining everything.

To be fair, she was pretty new to Earth at the time, but man, I can only imagine the number of disillusioned kids that were left with no recourse but to become hippies.

And worst of all…



she made Santa cry!

Nice, Kara. Real nice.


More of Kara Zor-El’s well-intentioned disasters can be found in the pages of the new Showcase Presents Supergirl v.1. Just, y’know. Keep it away from the kids.

21 thoughts on “Christmas Special: What The Hell, Supergirl?!

  1. I bet Otto Binder forgot nothing. He totally did this on purpose in hopes of ruining Christmas for children all over America. You didn’t want that guy mad at you.

  2. SANTA ISNT REAL??????
    I will wreak my vengeance soon enough on the both of you…

  3. By posting this you’ve only spread her demirthment even further onto the internet!

    Think of all the little children going to the ISB for some face-kicking and Tarot reviews seeing this…this abomination.

    Way to go, Sims. I hope you’re happy.

  4. “Youngsters half-believe in fairy tales”

    Half-believe?!? Perhaps now they do!

    And “then tying up a child and blasting him with her heat vision”? That… sounds ugly.

  5. And it would have been so easy to paper over the mistake by calling it an “Imaginary Story” at the end…

  6. I think I was five when my parents told me a) There is no Santa Claus, that’s a game like the Tooth Fairy. b) If I told any of my Christian friends, I’d be grounded until I was dead.

  7. Yeah, you’re right Josie; Santa Claus is really a Christian icon.
    Actually, given the whole camel/needle eye relationship, isn’t Santa basically going around damning people?
    Cromwell was right! On this one occasion!

  8. Oh god, the Supergirl showcase is full of so much greatness! The best has to be the first origin of Supergirl where she came into existence after Jimmy Olsen rubbed his magic wooden totem and wished for a girl.

  9. Jimmy Olsen rubbed his magic wooden totem and wished for a girl.

    I haven’t seen that panel, but out of context that’s hilarious.

  10. Rich, its the first story in the Showcase and its just a riot. Next to the Haunted Tank and Metal Men Showcases, its my favorite so far.

  11. Oh come on now. A child old enough to read is too old to believe in Santa Claus.

    Not believe in Santa Claus? Why, you might as well not believe in fairies.

  12. Thanks to Grant Morrison and a couple of philosophers, I still believe in Santa Clause at age 20.

    And I’ll stab you with a shiv if you try to tell me he ain’t real! >=( Santa won’t label me naughty; he’ll understand!

    …Or of course I could just say that Santa is really Ma Hunkel.

  13. I was reading to my daughters (triplets, 4 years old) from the Supergirl Archives one night and actually had to edit it…I’m streching out the Santa belief for as long as possible.