The Worst of Netflix: D-War

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Here be dragons!

Sometimes, a movie comes across my desk that’s just not that easy to make fun of. Maybe it’s a little too obvious that the people involved were pinning their hopes on what ultimately added up to a failure, or maybe it’s too boring and just doesn’t lend itself well to writing wisecracks.

And sometimes, I get a movie that opens up with a voiceover about how every five hundred years, a woman is born with “a spirit power that can turn a serpent into the mightiest dragon of all,” and the jokes pretty much write themselves.

I actually think this is one of my better entries in the Worst of Netflix — as shocking as it seems, I don’t actually think everything I write is pure genius. Enjoy!

7 thoughts on “The Worst of Netflix: D-War”

  1. Believe it or not, but apparently this was the biggest budget Korean movie ever made at the time of its making, and that it set Box Office records there!

  2. I’ll be honest, when this movie was being advertised, I was intrigued, if only for the dragons v. helicopters. Which really, Reign of Fire needed a LOT more of.

    Definitely need some MegaDino v. Helicopters, though. How has Scifi not picked that up yet?

  3. I have seen this movie. I’d blocked out my memory of it until now, but I have seen this movie. It was exactly as you said — the giant, house-levelling serpent that stealthed across America was a highlight.

  5. D-WAR is pretty godawful, and thus when it became the number one movie in Korea it prompted massive riots and anger and much tearing of hair and rending of garments. Then it was released in America and became the number one, top-grossing Korean movie released here and everyone in Korea just quietly killed themselves.

    The director, Shim Hyung-Rae, is a comedian who made a really bad giant monster movie back in 1999, and then spent five years and an untold amount of money making D-WAR. He even built an entire animation studio from scratch outside of Seoul to do the CGI for this movie. Why not farm it out? Because Koreans can do it better! Shim’s struggle was as epic as Noah’s, surrounded by unbelievers, mocked and humiliated, and yet in the end he triumphed. Of course, Noah saved all the animals on the planet and restarted the human race. Shim’s final victory was a crap monster movie.

  6. I saw this movie the day it came out. In the theater. On purpose.

    I pick a totally trashy movie every year on my birthday to see, and this one just happened to fit the bill. I enjoyed it for the mere fact the dragons destroy downtown LA and they eat helicopters.

    I’m really a simple woman to please.