Pop Quiz

Which of the following is not an actual episode title from the Japanese live-action Spider-Man television series?

 

 

a) The Time of Revenge Has Come! Beat Down Iron Cross Group

b) Becoming Splendid: To the Murderous Machine of Transformation

c) To the Flaming Hell: See the Tears of the Snake Woman

d) From the Unexplored Amazon: Here Comes the Mummified Beautiful Woman

 

Extra Credit Question: Why is this show not on television all the time?

 


 

Answer Key: As many as you guessed, the correct answer is that all of the titles listed are actual, honest-to-awesome episodes of the Japanese Supaidâman show from 1978, which I’m going to declare sight-unseen as the greatest use of television since the theme song to the Patty Duke Show.

For more awesome titles–from the relatively abrupt “Cockroach Boy: Great War” to the incomprehensible “There is no Child-Taking Detective Tomorrow”–and a description of the series, check out this page on the Henshin Hall of Fame.

35 thoughts on “Pop Quiz

  1. Don’t forget the giant robot, he partnered with a Japanese cowboy for an episode or two AND fought a crazy shark monster.

    There was nothing about that show that wasn’t awesome.

  2. You know, my normal reaction to stupid crap on the internet is “God dammit, Japan”, because inevitably it can be traced back there. But in this one case, I think I will make an exception.

    Also, I love that you can see his ribs clearly through the suit. Japanese actors are so skinny.

    And yes, I also vote “none of the above”.

  3. all of those sound like typical episode titles from Japanese TV shows. you have to admit, To the Flaming Hell: See the Tears of the Snake Woman sounds better than simply The Snake Woman.

    also, giant robots make everything better. Japan has an entire branch of science devoted to proving this.

  4. I have a a particular fondness for “Fine Dog! Run to the Under of Father.” But what’s happening with “To the Love Academy of the Homeless Children?” Creepy.

  5. I…I just dunno.

    I kind of want all of them to be real. Though, I wouldn’t mind using “Becoming Splendid: To the Murderous Machine of Transformation” to be the title of my biography.

    And, yeah, why isn’t this show on all the time?

  6. I vote for d) Even the Japanese wouldn’t use a mummified beauty in TV.

    And now that I’ve said the Japanese wouldn’t do something, I’ve retroactively changed the right answer.

  7. I’m going to buck the trend and give a wild guess that it’s “b”. Mainly because it is the least awesome of the four titles.

  8. The answer is obviously ALL OF THE ABOVE. The reason that it is not on all the time is that Americans are not prepared for that level of awesomeness. Scientists, however are working on this as we speak.

  9. ALL OF THE ABOVE I think… why? All of them sound cool

    Ps: The monster in the picture seems like Lobo… dont ya think?

  10. Due to the perspective of that pic, both Spider-Man San and his opponent look GIGANTIC!! Like all great Japanese television, they tower over Tokyo, battling for the lives of millions!!

  11. (PS to #9: Which Archangel?)

    Eli, actually, on loan to Michael for the moment. Even in 2099, he’s still on sabbatical…

  12. Having seen all of this show, I happen to know that ALL of the episode titles are, in fact, real.

    Real and awesome.

  13. I’ve only managed to catch one episode of this on youtube- the pilot. Spider-man is a motorcycle stuntman who happens upon a secluded cave and is given amazing powers by a mystical spider while a crazy old man explains the challenging and awesome duty that now falls to him. It’s sort of a mish-mash of Ghost Rider, Thor, Spider-man and Doctor Strange’s origins all wrapped up into one trouser-shattering ten minutes. Yes, that was just the first half of the first episode.

    And then he goes and fights an army of ninjas that multiply when they jump on top of a dam, before using his flying car to summon a giant cat-headed spaceship that turns into an enormous robot to battle a 300ft crocodile with a hook and chain. My mind was dribbling out my ears by this stage. Sadly the show is only on DVD in Japan, thus it is mundo expensivo.

    The spaceship/robot looks like this, by the way:
    http://www.hlj.com/product/BAN939921

  14. Er… the ninjas can multiply when jumping at all times, not just when they are jumping on top of a dam. In fact, the ninjas are already at the dam when Spidey has to sneak in to rescue some scientist. The episode wasn’t dubbed, unfortunately.

  15. I vote “all real” or D.

    Extra credit question: International communism, Dire Wraiths, Nazis, and Skrulls forming an Axis of Evil. Or Bendis fearing how LAME this will make all his Spider-Man comics look.

  16. I thought the best episode title was (by far):
    “Good Luck, Beautiful Police Officer”

  17. A friend of mine has some sort of computer-watchable files of the entire series, if you’d like me to arrange some sort of elaborate three-way filesharing.

    He offered me copies, but I was afraid — so afraid.

  18. Haha, awesome. My favorites are “Mysterious Thief 001 VS. Spider-Man” (The first mysterious thief of many!), “The Terrifying Half Merman! Calling the Miraculous Silver Thread” (Half Merman? That’s like, three fourths of a human) and “Fearful Hit Tune! Song Dancing Murder Rock” (If I ever have a band, its gonna be called “Song Dancing Murder Rock”)

  19. The First Tin Plate Evening Star and the Boys’ Detective Group

    I think that was a children’s book series from the 1920s.

    Containing, sadly, no ninjas.

  20. I want all the titles to be proper ones. Having seen one episode of this on You Tube filled me with gladness.

    More people should share in it’s greatness.

  21. Sight unseen? Well, I do have about half a dozen episodes of “Supaidaa-Man” on bootleg DVD. If you’re interested, I could look into burning a copy for you.

  22. Absolutely on the Extra Credit, Chris! Spider-Man totally needs a giant robot to pilot – even if he CAN’T drive a car (well, if Bendis is writing him, he can’t – JMS apparently thinks he can, which shows who lives in NYC, and who lives in LA).

    I watched enough of this mind-roasting experience on YouTube to know I want the entire series show on DVD. Subtitled so I won’t miss a single warped nuance of the dialogue. Now – yes, even before the TORCHWOOD boxed set,

    Best,
    Tim Liebe
    Dreaded Spouse-Creature of Tamora Pierce
    – and co-writer of Marvel’s White Tiger comic – #6 Out…finally….