The Brightest (And Dimmest) of the Green Lantern Corps!

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Today at ComicsAlliance, Caleb Goellner and I celebrate the release of Green Lantern #50 by offering up a rundown of the most notable Green Lanterns of all time, ranking them from the lamest to the best for your brightest enlightenment. As you might expect, it broke down to Caleb doing the heavy lifting and me doing the “commentary” sections and rankings, as my core talent lies in shooting my mouth off while others do the actual work.

I’m not much of a Green Lantern guy myself–I’ve always loved the concept but never really got into the execution–but it shouldn’t surprise anyone that I totally love Raker, the Green Lantern of Apokolips. Brought to my attention by Walt Simonson in Orion #18, Raker’s a great example of how you can blend elements of the DC Universe that are as disparate as John Broome’s Green Lantern Corps and Jack Kirby’s Fourth World and come away with something that works beautifully as a bridge to both. Of course, it also hits my fan buttons just right by explaining why the Guardians of the Universe never bothered to take out Darkseid (answer: They tried and he beat the crap out of ’em because he’s friggin’ Darkseid), but it’s a great little story with a really fun hook that, like most of Simonson’s Orion, has been sadly overlooked.

There’s only ever been one trade–and it’s worth it just to see the all-out Darkseid/Orion fight to the death in #5–but it’s not a hard run to put together in the back issue bins, and it’s something no fan of awesome comics should be without.

So there you go: Walt Simonson’s Orion, a fantas–hm? Oh, right, this thing’s actually about Green Lanterns!

I like Kyle!

27 thoughts on “The Brightest (And Dimmest) of the Green Lantern Corps!”

  1. Raker is especially awesome when compared to his sector partner Kraken, the woman with a dark Apokoliptian past who got turned into an Alpha Lantern. Now she’s a scantily clad killer half-robot.

    woo

  2. I think Raker was created by someone else in a short story before that issue– Wiki tells us it’s Scott Beatty. And here I thought it was Alan Moore or something.

    Still, that issue of Orion was mighty bitchin.’ Mighty bitchin’ indeed.

  4. Actually, Raker debuted in a Green Lantern annual. That would be the one where Darkseid and his minions decked themselves out in yellow to thwart a GL attack.

  7. This seals it, I need to get Simonson’s run on Orion. Not that I really needed that much convincing. Kirby re-imagined by Walt Simonson? Pretty much gold.

    Your reasoning for Batman being number one on the list is scientifically sound. Anyone that disagrees might as well disagree that the Earth is round.

  8. The Green Loontern! Even better than the Duck Knight!

    I know people might complain, but anyone who calls a Guardian Papa Smurf and, when Sinestro tries to bribe him, gives a list of demands that includes a puppy, a train set, a luxury sky box for major sporting events, and a baby brother deserves 9 out of 10 lanterns.

  9. A fellow Kyle Rayner fan! Doesn’t make sense to a GL with off-the-scales creativity.

    Hal (love him) only ever uses a giant hand…boring

  10. I actuallly picked up the first 14 issues of the Simonson Orion run on eBay a little while back for four bucks. Hearing your praise I’m even more eager to get to reading them.

    So a Green Lantern from Apokolips? What happened to him post-Final Crisis?

  11. Wait a minute, there more than one Green Lantern?? I thought that was just one guy.

    Next you’ll be telling me there’s more than one Flash or Batgirl, or that someone other than Bruce Wayne is Batman.

    Screw this. I’m taking my time machine back into the past when comics were simpler and Bowie tickets were 15 bucks.

  14. Loved the Hal commentary, and the sheer indignity of Arisa coming in behind G’Nort.

    Agree so strongly on “doesn’t socialize” that I’d give Mogo separate ratings for his origin story (very high) and for every appearance since then.

    Given how much Book of Oa stories have been elevated past “neat ideas” into “the whole mythic structure of the Corps,” you just know we’re in for a Rot Lop Fan story. “It’s a nifty little story, but there’s no need to ever go back to it” is exactly the right attitude– but it was also the right attitude toward Mogo, Sodam Yat, the prophecy demons, etc., etc.

  15. While my wife wishes I would just shut up about Green Lanterns, she admits its better than talking about Superman because anybody can potentially be a Green Lantern. And she liked the Bat-Lantern in “Rebirth”.

  16. Some of us … are diametrically opposed to the idea that there’s something Batman can’t do

    He could do it, he just didn’t feel like it yet. He almost literally said as much.

    let alone that he would ever need to be something besides Batman

    He’d be Batman with a useful new gadget. And if the Guardians think Hal is a pain in their collective ass….

  18. Alan Scott’s pimptastic wardrobe doesn’t make up for his sheer blandness. Actually, his colorful outfit was a necessity, because it was about the only way you could tell him apart from similar squared jaw heroes.

    Kyle Rayner and Guy Gardner flat out suck. I’m sorry, but that’s true. They both utterly fail at their respective schticks (being the rad kid and the über macho tough guy, respectively). Rayner will be forever burdened with being a byproduct of a lame 90’s event. Maybe a talented writer can do something interesting with him, but why have tofu when you can have steak? You already have two interesting Lanterns: Jordan and Stewart. Alas, Gardner is just a sad byproduct of everything lame about the 80’s. There’s no hope for him.

    Stewart’s case is a tragic one, because, after some decades of refinement, he turned out to be an OK character. Too bad he’s just a token character. Too sad he is still (2000’s) being treated like one.

    Jordan rules, even if some writers at DC don’t seem to accept that.

  19. Everything you said about Jack T. Chance is true, but on top of all the parodic elements you listed, he was above all a parody of Ostrander’s own creation Grimjack. So much so that GL fans back in the day used to refer to him as “Greenjack”.

  20. “CA Says: “Say Bob, you know what would be awesome?” “What’s that, Bob?” “If we took a character from a sub-par fighting game about gruesome murder and made her a space policeman with a magic green wishing ring.” “Bob, are you drunk?” “Yes. Yes I am.””

    I think I just peed myself from laughter and I just started reading.

  21. “Alan Scott’s pimptastic wardrobe doesn’t make up for his sheer blandness.”

    Blandness? Alan Scott is a badass. See: the time Alan Scott wore an eyepatch, when he rallied everyone in Final Crisis.

  22. In the years since Ive been visiting this page Ive seen people defend incest, centaur porn, foil covers, and so on, but Ive never seen anyone be quite as wrong as Cosmic Isocahedron. Well done sir!

  23. The best green lantern is Guy. He’s very good at being a jerk and other characters actually notice it, whereas with Kyle you’re probably not supposed to want to take Kyle by the throat.

  24. You already have two interesting Lanterns: Jordan and Stewart.

    I recall reading some DC comic, either during or soon after Zero Hour, with a page that was a letter from someone working at DC. Therein they explained that pre-Zero Hour, Hal Jordan was dull and uninteresting. Hence they decided to turn him into Parallax.

    So as far as I’m concerned, the fact that GL Jordan is uninteresting isn’t just an opinion, it’s canon.

  26. “Everything you said about Jack T. Chance is true, but on top of all the parodic elements you listed, he was above all a parody of Ostrander’s own creation Grimjack.”

    WTF? John Gaunt does not devise an oath that includes the word “Yowza.”