The One-Sentence Week In Ink: September 10, 2009

No Comics Wednesdays are the loneliest Wednesdays of all.



Yes, Labor Day pushed the release of this week’s comics back to today, and since I usually like to let things marinate for a bit before I write up my half-cocked, needlessly angry thoughts about them, it looks like it’s time once again to offer up the Internet’s Most Succinct Comics Reviews!

Tonight, I’ll be sharing thoughts on this week’s releases in exactly one sentence each, though given how I abuse the poor comma, there’s no guarantee that the sentence’ll end where it ought to. Still, it’s a shame that Cry For Justice didn’t come out again, because I’m pretty sure I could’ve knocked that one out in two words.

So here’s what I picked up this week…



…and here’s a bunch of reviews that are shorter than the intro paragraph!



Adventure Comics #2: Not only does the second issue of Adventure bring us an actual Legion story, it’s actually really good, and while I’d prefer it if Geoff Johns hadn’t written another scene where a hero slapped around a helpless prisoner, I’m way more likely to accept it from a bunch of a-hole teenagers than from the guy who’s supposed to be the best space-cop ever.


Amazing Spider-Man #604: The old-school action that Van Lente and Kitson have been throwing into this story has made it great, but J. Jonah Jameson acquiring the intellectual property of the Spider-Slayers by having them categorized as work-for-hire might just make this one of my favorite comics of all time.


Doom Patrol #2: Much like Streets of Gotham, I’m starting to get way more interested in the back-up story than I am in the main one, thanks largely to the fact that one has a plot and characters that I don’t really care about, and the other has Kevin Maguire drawing sexy robots.


G-Man: Cape Crisis #2: Chris Giarrusso’s Crisis is already better than every other Crisis except Final Crisis, and since he’s got three more issues to have Superman fight Vampire Anti-Matter Superman for the fate of all of fiction and not bring back Barry Allen, there’s a good chance that it might end up being better.





Incredible Hercules #134: Between the sweeping, Simonsonian fun of the story, an appearance by the Warriors Three, and Thor in a mini-skirt, the only thing I don’t absolutely love about this comic book is that we didn’t get to see what awesome onomatopoetic sound effects Van Lente and Pak came up with for Herc’s night of passion with Alflyse, which I can only assume would’ve been “SEXERRRRRUP!” or “TAPPADATTAAAS!”


Marvel Adventures Super-Heroes #15: I’ll admit that I’ve always sort of hated Tigra (as both a West Coast Avenger and a furry, she’s got two strikes against her right out of the gate), but every time Paul Tobin writes her saying “Aw sneezes!”, my heart softens just a little bit.


Models Inc #1: And speaking of Paul Tobin, I’ve been looking forward to his revival of Millie the Model and her cast in the Marvel universe, but without the caption boxes to tell us, how the hell are we supposed to know who sent in the designs for their dresses?!


Nomad: Girl Without a World #1: If you ever have reason to doubt that Sean McKeever, the guy who gave us the pure joy that is Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane, is an excellent writer (and to be honest, his run on Teen Titans is probably all the reason you need), then just keep in mind that he wrote a solid, engaging and entertaining story that starred Heroes Reborn Bucky.


Punisher: Frank Castle #74: Holy crap, if #74 costs $4.99, what’s #75 going to cost, four live chickens and a kidney?!


Secret Six #13: In case you were wondering whose side you should take in the great Mark Waid/Gail Simone Twitter Feud of ’09, keep this in mind: Mark Waid created the super-hero theme restaurant, Planet Krypton, while Gail Simone created the super-hero themed strip joint, Superiors.


Unwritten #5: I’m not going to say that Unwritten is Sandman done right because a) I’m not Tom DeFalco, and b) I actually do like Sandman quite a bit, but it’s probably safe to say that as far as stories about stories go, Unwritten is Sandman without its head up its ass.


Classic GI Joe v.5: IDW’s finally gotten up to #50 in their reprints of Marvel’s GI Joe series, and unlike some of their other volumes, the reprint quality in this one is uniformly perfect, so good job!


Gotham Central: Deluxe Edition v.2: If you liked the version of the Joker that was in The Dark Knight (and statistically speaking, you do), then you should buy this one immediately, as “Soft Targets” is not only comparable to the movie in terms of tone, but my single favorite Joker story ever.



And that’s the week! As always, I’ve left a few things out–though I considered trying to cram every Wednesday Comics strip into one sentence, all you really need to know is that Dave Gibbons gave you lions with machine guns because he knows what the people really want–so feel free to leave questions or concerns in the comments section below.

38 thoughts on “The One-Sentence Week In Ink: September 10, 2009

  1. Absolutely agree with Gotham Central and “Soft Targets.” It’s my favorite Joker story, with Dini’s “Slayride” in ‘Tec and Mad Love probably close runners-up.

    I’m very glad to see DC continuing to release good-quality hardcovers of that series, and I’m hoping that they’ll complete the 40-issue run.

  2. Those are some long-ass sentences.

    Also- the “two words” and “a-hole teenagers” links just brought me back to this post and it’s freaking me out.

    Of course, your average Chris Sims fan can guess what the “a-hole teenagers” was meant to link to anyway and that Matter-eating-lad joke never gets old.

  3. High five, Sims! I also picked up Gotham Central: Jokers and Madmen (own the original trades, but I couldn’t pass it up), and I’m glad to hear you two calling it the best Joker story ever.

    Honestly, anyone who thinks that they couldn’t bring the “comic book Joker” into the Nolan-verse because he’d feel silly and not dangerous…Rucka and Brubaker show how it’s done (six years ago), giving us a totally-classic Joker who causes even more palpable terror and is even more insidious and cunning, with a simple scheme that doesn’t require the leaps of logic that the schemes in The Dark Knight had.

    And that excellent Mad Hatter story…heartbreaking, on so many levels :(

  4. And…Chris, you missed Hellboy?


    Hurry back to the store, man.

  5. Yotsuba@ isn’t your Best of the Week? Its like I don’t even know you any more Sims. But you’re spot on about Nomad being more like McKeever on SMLMJ than his god-awful Teen Titans work…

  6. I didn’t know Simone and Waid were having a feud, but I probably come down on the side of the woman who made “Secret Six” awesome more than I do the side of the man who rebooted the Legion twice and managed to screw it up both times.

  7. I have to say, crediting both Rob Liefeld AND Jeph Loeb in your comic is usually a bad sign. One or the other I can handle (I will never tire of Moore’s Supreme. It’s like cocaine to me, you guys), but both at the same time is… eugh.

  8. Im totally gonna steal your review for Unwritten.
    The best part is also that I havent read the Harry Potter books beyond the first one, and somehow Im doing it through Unwritten.

  9. “I have to say, crediting both Rob Liefeld AND Jeph Loeb in your comic is usually a bad sign. One or the other I can handle (I will never tire of Moore’s Supreme. It’s like cocaine to me, you guys), but both at the same time is… eugh.”

    Gotta agree. I put that book back down when I saw those two credited as “Guiding Lights”.

  10. I’m surprised you could resist not mentioning Hawkman talking trash to a T-Rex in Wednesday Comics. Dave Gibbons isn’t the only one that knows what people want.

  11. I think the “Norse” runes on the anvil that hit Herc more than made up for the lack of sound effects this issue. I want that panel framed.

  12. “…I’m way more likely to accept it from a bunch of a-hole teenagers…”

    Oh, man…? They’re not really supposed to still be teenagers post-Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes are they? If that’s the case, I’m off my game, because I’ve totally been reading ’em as sort of hardass 20-somethings.

    Besides, it’s the future… I’m sure torture is more acceptable.

  13. Sean McKeever is consistently good. His Sentinel was also rad, featuring several good fakeouts along the way.

  14. I know you didn’t like Blackest Night, but the 2nd issue of the Blackest Night: Batman mini was basically Dick and Damian pulling out L.A.W. missiles and flamethrowers on the zombies, and Jim Gordon blowing heads off with a shotgun.

  15. Sandman > Unwritten.

    Books of Magic > Unwritten.

    Harry freaking Potter > Unwritten.

    In fact, even Mildred Hubble played by Fairuza Balk > Unwritten.

    The rest of the reviews were right on the money, though. Thank you for those.

    Now go re-read Sandman. I expect a full report on my desk by monday

  16. Wednesday Comics also gave us Hawkman talking smack to a Tyrannosaurus Rex. And that is why I still love comics. And Kyle Baker. And Kyle Baker comics.

  17. No love for Tim Gunn? I thought, pun-ridden though it was, that that was the most fun thing in comics since, well, Hawkman talking smack on a Tyrranosaurus.

    Also, can we talk about how terrific the Flash strip is? I surely do not care about the Flash – any of them – but I am loving this strip.

  18. Oh, man…? They’re not really supposed to still be teenagers post-Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes are they?

    Probably not, but they’ll always be a-hole space teens to me.

  19. I like the new Yen Press versions of Yotsuba&!. The Japanese suffixes and footnotes are a nice touch that the ADV versions didn’t have.

    As for McKeever, I’m pleased to see that Marvel has no teen mauling quota like DC apparently did.

  20. Sandman without its head up its ass would still have its head up its ass relative to the vast majority of world literature.

  21. It’s been announced that a new version of the old Fox series Models, Inc is in the works to premiere next year. Provided the comic is still around for that long, I wonder how that might affect the comic.

  22. The internets is a funny place: you’ve just made my week by being the only human, in the calendar year of Ought-Nine, to quote from Clue: The Movie.

  23. Yeah, but when it comes to Waid, there’s a very fine line. After all, genocide= saying mean things about someone on the Internet in his curious moral universe.

  24. hmm, I’d have thought Batman + Flamethrowers + zombies would have at least gotten a reply from you Mr. Simms

    also can someone link me to the highlight reels for this Simone/Waid thing? first I’ve heard of it.

    “Sandman without its head up its ass would still have its head up its ass relative to the vast majority of world literature.”
    this is true and yet I can’t stop loving it

  25. It had to happen. A by-product of this god-forsaken generation of proud illiterates that grew on this meh-infested trash-heap that is the internet, perhaps.

    Someone made a comment dissing Sandman. And there’s actually a couple of airheads that find that cool.

    Maybe someone forgot that Sandman was (and still is) acclaimed outside of that 1990’s Seattle scene they seem to loath so much. Maybe someone hates literary allusions (“Meh. I don’t get this an’ therefore it’s pree-ten-shious”). I mean, God forbid a non-LOL worthy comic to be allowed to be considered good.

    But don’t fret, thank goodness there’s cheeto-munching mouthbreathers that helps us spot stuff that has it’s “head up it’s ass”

  26. Thanks for the comment, “Crybaby skinner!” Apparently you didn’t think you got your point across the first time you commented as “Grammar dictador.”

  27. I feel like…Grammar Baby Skinner, I’m sure you aren’t still reading this, but did you in some way I don’t understand dis Fairuza Balk up there? Because while I don’t think it’s really worth it to defend Sandman (like a lot of the long-running Vertigo books, it seems to lose its way a little bit in its second half; and anyway, it’s not as though it isn’t generally, you know, well-regarded and impervious to the occasional snarking upon on blogs), I will not let that shit STAND, my friend.

  28. Baby Skinner, I haven’t seen the adaptation of the Worst Witch (like Kurt Russel, now that I know Fairuza Balk is in it, I’ll watch it.), so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

    As far as I’m concerned, Sandman collapsed under the weight of it’s own mythology. I’ve got the first trade, and it’s mighty fun. Al Crowley, stealing food from dreams, a rap battle with Choronzon, that great issue in the diner with Dr. Destiny?
    Wonderful. And as much as I like Tori Amos and Cain & Abel, it all went downhill from there.

    (Also, en ingalis, it’s dictator.)

  29. I am a big Sandman fan, and I think Lucifer is better written in a lot of ways. I think that this latest issue of The Unwritten is one of the single best comics I have read, or maybe best single issues. (My list of favorites may be a hundred comics long, maybe a thousand, but it’s on there.) The Kipling thing was brilliant. I say Good Job Mike Carey!

    Also, I agree on Nomad. Now girls have no excuse to not read comics… right? (ok… It’s a very good read regardless of gender)