95 thoughts on “Watchmen: The Shocking New Ending!

  1. Um… what is up with Ozymandias’s gigantic purple genitalia in the “I’m going to do it” panel?

  2. Not to be a wet blanket but that is a sleeper hold, not the cobra clutch.

    Well maybe a little bit a wet blanket.

  3. I imagine Veidt drawing the blueprints and sending them to the contractors: “the button should be exactly three inches in diameter and should be labelled with the words ‘Doomsday Button.’”

  4. I will never return from the edge of my seat again…

    And what’s more, I applaud you for taking the classy route and having Rorschach choke Dr. M out instead of giving him the kick in his exposed, blue, junk that I’ve wanted someone to give him for almost 25 years!

  5. Rorschach is lightning fast to be able to put his mask back on and still have time to dive out of the way of Doc Manhattan’s blast.

  6. I don’t think the sleeper hold involves hooking the arm.

    I’m going to go cry now for knowing that.

  7. I imagine if I bothered reading pretentious Alan Moore books this would make some sort of sense?

    Then again… perhaps it already makes more sense than Moore?

  8. When I see the film I’ll probably just block whatever horrid visuals and ending plot there is and just keep running these few panels through my mind. Thanks for giving me the strength to deny Zach Snyder’s Douchebaggery

  9. nah that’s definitely a sleeper hold, you hook the arm.

    Looks to me like The ‘Sach comes in with a shining wizard for bonus awesomepoints, I reckon if panel space would have allowed, he would have dropped some sweet elbows on Ozy too.

  10. Looks more like a cobra clutch than a sleeper. Kind of looks like the old Tazmission, too.

  11. Yep Moogleboy, pretentious, pretentious Alan Moore. Who some of the most coherant and satisfying narratives in Superdom. Oh, and From Hell.
    Sims: What, no subliminal smiley face? I smell a counterfiet.

  12. “Not to be a wet blanket but that is a sleeper hold, not the cobra clutch.”

    That’s definitely a kata-hajime chokehold. Who knew Rorschach was a judoka?

  13. skizelo, you forgot Promethea.

    I’d laugh at this if I wasn’t sure that the movie is going to turn out something like that. As it stands I’m already bitter that they’re going to be getting my dollars because I’m interested in the film adaptation process and there’s hardly a work I know better than Watchmen…

  14. Moogleboy – let’s be friends. I imagine that sort of statement doesn’t win you very many of them, but count me in, chief.

  15. I love you Sims. I want you to know this.

    But panel 2 is in serious danger of becoming recognisably good artwork, stepping over your own demarcation line of bobble-headed stick-figures.

    What next, cross hatching?

    p.s. Tell John Siuntres about Depressed Word Balloon. It could be the rebranding he’s looking for!

  16. I need to buy a ten-sided van just so I can pay Mr. Sims a million dollars to put one of these panels on each side of it.

    (Also needed: one million dollars)

  17. So, Dynamite + New York = Free Kittens ? Now that’s an equation I can get behind.

    Also, why is Rorschach kicking Ozy’s armpit in that 9th panel?

  18. You forgot the moment when WW3 doesn’t happen because why on Earth would anyone do something that stupid?
    Brilliant, just brilliant!

  19. I can’t believe no one’s mentioned that not only did Rorschach survive and take out Dr. Manhattan, he ALSO went BACK IN TIME from #12 to #11 to stop Ozymandias pushing the button. Whether this is the result of some tachyon-thing from his proximity to Manhattan, or whether it’s simply because Rorschach is like a more psychopathic Batman and can therefore do whatever he wants, we may never know.

    God I’m a dork.

  20. Oh yes, I was wrong, curses and drat. The moral is that I should not try and form thoughts after a certain hour.

    Time to reread Watchmen with Tazz in place of Rorschach.

    BEAT ME IF YOU RAARRL, SURVIVE IF I HURM YOU!

  21. Makes a lot more sense than the original.

    Giant psychic Martian squid, Ozy? You seriously expect people to fall for that? This isn’t the Marvel universe, you know, the general public isn’t composed entirely of morons.

  22. Given the choice, I’d take Ozy over Osborn to RUN THE ENTIRE WORLD. So I’ve got a leg up on Marvel civilians right there.

  23. I’d also like to join the League of People Who See Alan Moore For the Overrated Tripe He Is.

  24. Pure genius. Not only should the movie end this way, it should be set to The Sword’s “Freya.” Airwolf!

  25. I think you guys are all confusing Alan Moore with Grant Morrison. I know, the similar last names can be puzzling sometimes.

  26. Wow. Nobody works harder in comics blogging than Chris Sims. And nobody gets dickier comments than him. What’s up with that?

  27. I, for one, will be deeply disappointed if the movie doesn’t include the phrase “He’s lucky he didn’t burn my hat”.

  28. Question: Is this in response to the Wizard article where they say they ARE changing the ending… and making it AWFUL?

    *watches everyone thunder towards their local comic book shop, and sighs, wishing, HOPING he were joking…*

  29. “So Rorschach puts his mask back on before attacking Dr. Manhatten? That makes no sense.”

    Of course! His mask is how he gets his Rorschach powers. Without it, he couldn’t touch Dr. Manhattan, who is a being of pure nuclear energy, to put him in the cobra clutch.

  30. “pretentious” is such a subjective insult, isn’t it? I mean if a reader thinks Moore’s work has whatever merit Moore claims it to have (he doesn’t generally big note himself though, outside of bagging out fairly aweful movies based on his work and taking about being a wizard), then its not pretentious, but if the reader doesn’t think it does, he might well consider it pretentious (or just a failure) acurately. So if Moogleboy thinks Moores’ pretentious it’d be hard for anyone to argue otherwise, no matter how wrong he is.

  31. I can’t stop laughing! Well, I can long enough to type this.

    Also, Watchmen 2: Watch Harder? Sadly, I’d pay just for the title alone.

  32. there are so many people i will not be making sweet love to in this comments section.

    signed,

    beyoncé knowles

  33. I came back and checked: The blog post remains awesome. The comments section, however, must be nuked from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.

    May the Moorebeard consume all unbelievers in their sleep.

  34. More films should have Rorschach suddenly entering stage right with a kick to the head.

    It’s like the dealmaker ex machina.

  35. It’s been 2 days now.

    I still chuckle involuntarily every time I recall panels 4 and 8. Revisiting them turns that into giggling :)

  36. This might just be the best thing you’ve ever done. It just has got everything. The credits make it especially hilarious.

  37. Its a new string to your bow Chris- commentors defending the idnefensible was getting old, so attacking the awesome makes for a nice change.

    I.e. Know whats really pretentious? Action Age Comics, man I wish someone had the guts to take them down a peg or two.

  38. What it boils down to is, which is more pathetic:

    - The lonely, smelly kid who butts into conversations about crappy movies to explain why Catwoman is actually God’s gift to the humanities
    - The lonely, smelly kid who butts into conversations about good movies to blow off/denounce Aliens or whatever and call it an insult to the art form

  39. I am in awe sir. In awe.

    Bravo. This is the new greatest ending ever. Casablanca can screw right off.

  40. …certain panels have drawings that look recognizably like things! Your artwork is improving! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE, SIMS!

    Next you’ll be doing lil’ thumbnail sketches in your comics scripts for your artist’s reference. Those guys hate that. ^_^

  41. That’s not my real name, btw.

    I must comment that you have hit upon a wonderful idea with these crayon sketches. The idea’s evolved lovely since Crisis in 30 Sec-

    You know what? Stuff the academic prose. Rorschach is my personaly Jesus. And The Cobra Clutch would totally own the Stone Cold Stunner!

  42. “The most miserable SON OF A BITCH ON THE PLANET… the HUMAN SUPLEX MACHINE!!”

    Single Wing Choke/Katahajime/Tazmission

    Rory rocks the Judo choke.

    E-C-DUB!!
    E-C-DUB!!

  43. In comic terms, Rorschach it using a maneuver that Judomaster, or perhaps Yawara (A Fashionable Judo Girl) would use (a kata hajime), not something Zangief would use (a cobra clutch).

  44. But Dr. Manhattan doesn’t have a gi to hold on to for katahajime. The choking action would be coming from the right bicep, with the left hand pushing the head into the choke, like in a rear naked choke (sleeper hold?)

    In fact, it looks more like a Rorschach is just forcing his fore arm across Manhattan’s throat, hence the “urk.” He would not necessarily be choked out from that position. Internet!

  45. Just tighten up the third panel
    to show us Rorschach is punching
    Dr. Manhattan’s nads.

    Your slow motion panel following
    Ozmandias’ line about not being a
    slow motion villain is pure
    awesomeness! especially when it’s
    followed by Rorshach telling him,
    “Not so fast!” Ha ha ha so wonderful!

  46. It’s the underlying dread that is the deus ex machina of the work. In the first panel all is blue! Doctor Manhattan is blue, the snowy arctic landscape behind him is blue, even his word balloon is BLUE. Blue blue blue. Manhattan clearly represents the EGO, in a frigid, frozen, cold and snowy afterlife of blue identity.

    In the next frame we see Rorschach, and although his complexion has cleared up from the Moore/Gibbons interpretation of this grim event, he now is leaking blue from the corner of his eyes. He is surrounded by blue as well, but more of a lightly rendered midnight blue, rather than Manhattan’s more pedestrian periwinkle or cornwallis blue. Do they still have those colors of blue in the Crayola 64-color pack? I wonder. If not, it is even more cause for dread. Yet again, we see the blue metaphor arise, like a phoenix (but not Jean Grey) from the ashes of of an ashy ash heap. He may be leaking icicles to sooth Manhattan into a false sense of security. By refusing to be ALL blue, Rorschach is clearly attempting to become the ID, but it is not to be his role in this drama.

    In the next panel, we see Manhattan attacking Rorschach with a purple representation of the Challenger space shuttle. This is a clear representation of the dread the American people feel when yet another poorly-maintained and badly-designed space shuttle blows up. Although the astronauts are heroes for going along on the missions, even after the first one blew up. I heartily commend the astronauts for having a few drinks before launch; I would probably have to mainline heroin to be put on one of those deathtraps.

    In the next panel, Rorschach subdues Manhattan with a sleeper hold, while Manhattan cries out in blueness; “Urk!” he is clearly calling out for the hero of his unloved childhood, Steve Urkel. Urkel, of course, if the ersatz patron saint of all geek children who are fascinated by science, as was Jon Osterman before his transformation into Dr. Manhattan…

  47. “Watch Harder” is the only name for “Watchmen II”

    Chris, How about an alternate ending to V for Vendetta?

  48. Finally someone has fixed that awful ending! And kudos to A College Freshman for his deep and profound interpretation!