For a Stronger America

Posted on by

I don’t usually like to get too political here on the ISB, but let’s be honest, folks: There’s too much at stake this year to not pick a side. The economy, health care, the war; these are issues that really matter to me, and with opinions split even within the major parties, I feel like it’s time to make it clear where I stand.

So tonight, the ISB’s coming out in full support of a candidate we can believe in. A man who isn’t bogged down by years of cronyism and won’t put our country’s fate in the hands of the lobbyists. A man who, despite an apparent lack of experience, has a plan for America that transcends the old political boundaries. A man who believes in the power of hope.

 

 

Thank you for your time.

48 thoughts on “For a Stronger America”

  2. Mother Hood? The Commanders sartorial tastes are explained.

    Now that I think about it, the Cobra logo has red stripes already. Add white between them, the star in the center negative space (in between the teeth would be too busy).
    The Cobra logo could be the new flag pin.

  3. The best part is that those annoying “U-S-A! U-S-A!” chants at sporting events would be outlawed and replaced with a hearty shout of “CO-BRA!”

  4. If the two of them think they can get another four years just by putting on masks and changing their names, they’re crazy.

  5. Cobra Commander says he believes in free enterprise, but what he won’t tell you is that that if elected, all businesses in the United States will immediatly become a subsidiary of Cobra.

    Can you really trust a man like Cobra Commander?

    Paid for by the committee to elect Megatron/Soundwave 2008.

  6. very funny, i also find the picture of The Punisher punching a polar bear at the top of your page hilarious

  7. I heard his pastor was a little unconventional. Really, “Pastor Storm Shadow”?

    Ninjas are closer to God than the rest of us, Ken.

  8. This would totally be my ticket if the Republicans hadn’t already gotten to me with their “Elect Nick Fury” campaign.

    “Because compared to Nick Fury, McCain is a total puss.”

  9. Paid for by the committee to elect Megatron/Soundwave 2008.

    Hey, Shockwave still can possibly win with the Decepticon superdelegates!!!

  10. Hey, Shockwave still can possibly win with the Decepticon superdelegates!!!

    Not after his disastrous showing at the Polyhex primary, and his racist remarks about the triplechangers.

  11. If elected, Cobra Commander promises to CENSOR TELEVISION, YOU FOOLSSSSS! NOW FOLLOW MY ORDERSSSSS!

  12. But neither is a natural born citizen. Plus that whole convicted felon thing…

    Now Stalker/Snake-eyes? Thats a ticket I could get behind. Yo Joe!

  13. Don’t be silly. Shockwave’s comments about triplechangers were taken out of context and twisted by the opposition. Didn’t you know that Shockwave, in Dreamwave continuity, is responsible for the nurturing of the triplechanging ability?

    The real reason not to vote for Shockwave is his experience. Shockwave’s records will show he has years of inept and incompetent management under his belt.

    Me, I know who I’m voting for. Sideshow Bob once said that the people want someone to rule over them like a king. And who better to do that than a ‘bot whose alt-form is the tyrant lizard, Tyrannosaurus Rex? That’s right, I’m voting Grimlock. He’s always taken a hard stance on Decepticons, and he’s sure to win the war on terror in weeks, and bring the troops home after winning over there.

  14. Didn’t you know that Shockwave, in Dreamwave continuity, is responsible for the nurturing of the triplechanging ability?

    Yes, but I thought the Dreamwave explanation was stupid, so I tend to ignore it.

    Me, I know who I’m voting for. Sideshow Bob once said that the people want someone to rule over them like a king. And who better to do that than a ‘bot whose alt-form is the tyrant lizard, Tyrannosaurus Rex? That’s right, I’m voting Grimlock.

    Bah! If Grimlock couldn’t handle the petro-rabbit epidemic, than what makes you think he can handle the presidency?

  17. That’s right!!!!! This country does need a change! Just think – the skies over the U.S. will be great because of the Weather Dominator. Crime will be down because of the “shoot first and don’t ask questions” law. Unemployment will definitely by down because everyone will have a job thru Extensive Enterprises. Grape soda will become the national drink. (how’s that for a obscure reference) This ticket is 100% better than those clowns that are running now. CC/D ’08!!!

  18. Electing Commander and Destro would be a complete disaster for our military. Let’s face it, training has never been very important to Cobra. Under his command, our troops would not be able to hit the broad side of a tank with their red lasers. And let’s not forget that Destro sold helicopter without canopies, but with parachutes. Truly our military strength would suffer under this administration. That’s not too mention all the money spent of snake shaped buildings and vehicles.

  19. As a non-American, I really have no say in who you choose for your president but, if I did, I would stand by my traditional support: http://www.cthulhu.com/

    His pastors are less crazy than Obama’s!

  20. I had some hope for the Devil Dinosaur for a Green Planet campaign. But after his awful performance in the Southern states, I’m back to voting the straight Moriarty / Moran ticket.

  21. There was a time when I really didn’t know which candidate to vote for. Cobra Commander, Devil Dinosaur, Megatron, Jack Burton, they all had good ideas for a sound tomorrow. But I’m pleased to report that thanks to a loophole involving time travel and immigration laws being non-existent in the 1700s, I’m voting for my dream ticket:

    Ninth Doctor/Tenth Doctor for President. (And yes, I’m aware that the Tenth Doctor has more experience, and should probably be first on the ticket. But doing it the other way around would cause a temporal paradox. Because if anything happens to the Ninth Doctor, the Tenth Doctor will take over.)

  24. Hmm, I think the Commander will have a tough road ahead of him. I can already see the opposition’s attack ads featuring montages of Cobra Commander calling for retreat.

    On the other hand, I would love to see him elected, if only for four years worth of Cobra Commander speeches on television: “My fellow Americans, the Ssstate of our Union is Ssstrong…”

  25. And Doctor Mindbender as Surgeon General!

    And let’s face it, Cobra Commander would be the hardest target for any wanna-be terrorist or assassin to kill. First off, he knows how they think. Secondly, everyone can find Camp David on a map. But when the Commander takes a vacation, which Springfield is he really in?

  26. Clearly, the fact that no one has mentioned Mumm-Raa’s candidacy is a sign of the biased mainstream media shutting out non-mainstream candidates.

  27. I have this issue (#100). Cobra Commander takes over some town called Millville, cutting off all the town’s enterences and exits, tells the people that he promises free universal health care and jobs (“at the expence of some personal liberties that you probably won’t miss!”), and sends all the people straight to the BRAIN-WAVE SACNNER for brainwashing! Of course, this issue begins with the famous full-page spread with CC kicking a dog! Definitly one of his best moments.

  28. Hmm…
    Megatron and his ticket are out due to foreign citizenship (space).

    The Doctor also isn’t an American. Cobra Commander, however, started out as a small businessman, selling used cars, but eventually, through hard work, arrived at where he is today. He also would carve his face on the moon with lasers. I think we have a solid ticket here.

  29. There’s a reason the “Mumm-Raa revolution” never took off. Most of his grassroots supporters were internet types who weren’t even old enough to vote yet. He was all hype.

  30. Megatron and his ticket are out due to foreign citizenship (space).

    If you’d have been paying attention, Bret, you’d have noted that Megatron crash landed to Earth missions before American was founded, thereby making him a naturalized US citizen. He’s been here longer than any of us, and that’s the kind of experience you can trust.

  31. If Megatron win, will Wreck-Gar be his press secretary? Never before has there be an individual more prone to giving the masses the pat soundbytes needed to steer this nation towards a thousand points of energon.

  32. I think Wreck-Gar outlined Megatron’s three-step plan for restoring America in a convincing enough manner:

    1)Destroy Unicron
    2)Kill the Grand Poobah
    3)Eliminate even the toughest stains

  33. Once again the opposition tries to weaken America with outright lies. The record will show that the so-called petro-rabbit epidemic is nothing more than the fabrication of a senile old ‘bot.

    And guys? Megatron’s campaign’s scuttled as soon as Starscream opens his mouth about all of the gay sex. And the Megatrons of later shows? They’re the deep, dark secret Megatron doesn’t want anyone to know about.

  35. The record will show that the so-called petro-rabbit epidemic is nothing more than the fabrication of a senile old ‘bot.

    And yet that stop Grimlock from spending millions of taxpayer dollars in an expensive boondoggle to get rid of the non-existent problem. That’s the kind of big government, runaway spending that’s kept America out of the 21st century, and the people have had enough.

    Megatron’s campaign’s scuttled as soon as Starscream opens his mouth about all of the gay sex.

    Cybertronians don’t even have sex. More tabloid slander.

    And the Megatrons of later shows? They’re the deep, dark secret Megatron doesn’t want anyone to know about.

    The attempts to embarrass Megatron by invoking his distant relatives are childish, at best. Too bad the opposition can’t stay focused on the issues. Issues like the Space Bridge initiative, funding a cure for cosmic rust, and Megatron’s plan to fight poverty by installing Target Master training centers all over America.

  38. The thing is, these posts are all far more sensible, and contain deeper analysis of the issues, than most of those you see on more traditional political commentry sites. If it wasn’t so funny Id be troubled by that. On a more positive note, Id be confident a CC/D government would be a little more responsible in arms dealing to foreign nations than previous american administrations. Destro has the experience not to let things come back to bite him of the ass.

  39. Dare to hope!Dare to dream!Dare not to be squashed!
    Optimus Prime/Duke ‘08
    For the freedom of all sentients.

    Dude, this is America. Let’s be realistic here.

    Of course, Shockwave has the advantage of logic and statistics, and doesn’t let blind hatred for other sentients and Autobots get in the way of the proper path of governance. The cartoon programs clearly were orchestrated by Megatron to make Shockwave look inefficient, since as you can tell from the original Marvel Comics, only Shockwave saved the Decepticon Party from total defeat on multiple occasions.

  40. Maybe America is tired of the partisan system. Maybe they want some real change.

    A vote for Unicron is a vote for a new body, and new troops to command!

  41. Zut alors! Why cannot we nominate ze people’s choice — Batroc the Leaper — for le premier du America?

  42. Zut alors! Why cannot we nominate ze people’s choice — Batroc the Leaper — for le premier du America?

    Parce qu’un Français ne peut pas être le Président des Etats-Unis!

  45. I will point out that both the Ninth and Tenth Doctors are eligible for the Presidency, having fought alongside General Washington in the Revolutionary War. And really, with credentials like that, who can turn them down?

    The Doctors. Because really, what other candidates have genuine universe-saving experience?

  47. You have to admit, though, a Supreme Court made up of Quintessons would be awesome.

    We’ll have to tear out eh Library of Congress for the Sharkticon pit, but nobody ever said progress would be easy.

  48. We’ll have to tear out eh Library of Congress for the Sharkticon pit, but nobody ever said progress would be easy.

    Books, schmooks! America needs more malevolent, five-faced, robotic justices!