Rip out his jawbone and use it as club. Brock Sampson would approve.
I die screaming.
Kick it’s balls?
Pray for dear life you make that Animal Husbandry check. And the Hold Bowels check. [/nerd]
Toss a catnip-scented chewtoy as far away from yourself as possible and run like hell.
Ahem,
The answer to this and every other question is…Be Conan.
Since your reality is clearly being manufactured by Mike Grell, I’d say the lion is the one that should be worried.
Thwarted, take to all fours and use your fearsome mane and formidable face-fuzz to mimic the lion, confusing it until it gives up out of frustration?
Shoot the hostage.
Hire it to serve Martinis at your next cocktail party.
Run.
Toss it a parachute and ask it if it wants to become my sidekick defending the Savage Land.
I disbelieve.
The lion is that guys weapons caddy, right? And he’s just knocking the browd sword out of his hand to save the guy from embarassment because he’s entered in a duel of sabres? Am I right?
express disappointment in him.
It’s obvious that the lion is some kind of master of kung fu. Since it could have easily mangled the hand as it knocked away the sword we have to assume that the lion just wanted you unarmed.
Of course the problem then is you are facing a lion that knows kung fu and are unarmed….
Let the lion use the sword. Fair’s fair.
Offer to remove the thorn from its paw.
If it doesn’t have a thorn in its paw, I at least have a free action as it checks to make sure.
If it’s a snowy day, I jump into a pit with the lion.
I believe Tim C has the correct answer.
Use techniques gleaned from the newest entry in the popular cheerleading movie franchise: Bring It Ong-Bak.
Bare my chest to the lion.
Since I cannot win against the lion’s kung fu, I can at least meet death bravely.
well you need to grab the ropes and every time the lion hits you you shake the ropes a bit more till you’re super powered with rage and back to full strength, then maybe pound your chest and scream before you clothesline him.
Look it directly in the eyes and tell the lion “It’s not your fault.”
The lion won’t listen at first, so say it again in a firm yet tender voice. Repeat yourself again and again, approaching it slowly, until it finally breaks down crying in your arms. Hug it tightly and let the healing begin.
I grab his mane, swing onto his back and ride him like a bronco.
I’ll die, but what the hell. I rode a lion.
Phone Catwoman or Vixen or Animal Man for advice?
Bleed. Probably a lot.
Headbutt him to death.
If that doesn’t work, bleed all over him cry like a baby until he gives up in disgust.
First, don the glasses given to you by the Macho Man. Then, challenge the lion to go to the forests of his world where he should slice open his heart…
Blood of the Warriors!
Rip out the battery of a nearby abandoned car and throw it at the lion?
Either that or kick it in the face.
Take off and nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Disarm the lion right back with my charm and wit.
Then beat it to death with my shoe.
Retrieve the Power Sword and tell Cringer to knock it off.
Activate my watch to call Superman with the lion head. He is best for solving lion related issues.
Place a desperate call to the residence of one Mr. H. Popnecker.
You growl menacingly and dig your teeth into the lion’s throat.
At least, that’s what you would do…
…if you were REX THE MOTHER FUCKING WONDER DOG.
Wait, wrong blog.
Grab a nearby tiger by its tail, and use it as a club to knock the tiger out.
Scream “I’m a hemophiliac!” and when he lets you go, kick him in the back.
And then when he’s lying down on the ground… kick him in the ribs; step on his neck; and run like hell.
I guess I would just have to apologize for I said about the lion’s mother…
-Citizen Scribbler
Lead it into the Observatory and then watch as Mrs. Peacock kills it with the Candlestick.
Get down on my knees, plead with the lion, and when it gets within range gouge it in the eye with my thumb and steal its wife.
WOOOOOOO!!!!
/stylin & profilin
de-arm the lion
Start running.
Remember, you don’t have to outrun the lion; you just have to outrun your kid sidekick.
Punch it in the face with your free hand.
Or, or, wait. No. Trick question. Kick it in the face, right?
Dwarf Fortress players agree: If at first you don’t succeed, gouge the fuck out of its eyes.
Walk it and pitch to the rhino.
Rip out his jawbone and use it as club. Brock Sampson would approve.
I die screaming.
Kick it’s balls?
Pray for dear life you make that Animal Husbandry check. And the Hold Bowels check. [/nerd]
Toss a catnip-scented chewtoy as far away from yourself as possible and run like hell.
Ahem,
The answer to this and every other question is…Be Conan.
Since your reality is clearly being manufactured by Mike Grell, I’d say the lion is the one that should be worried.
Thwarted, take to all fours and use your fearsome mane and formidable face-fuzz to mimic the lion, confusing it until it gives up out of frustration?
Shoot the hostage.
Hire it to serve Martinis at your next cocktail party.
Run.
Toss it a parachute and ask it if it wants to become my sidekick defending the Savage Land.
I disbelieve.
The lion is that guys weapons caddy, right? And he’s just knocking the browd sword out of his hand to save the guy from embarassment because he’s entered in a duel of sabres? Am I right?
express disappointment in him.
It’s obvious that the lion is some kind of master of kung fu. Since it could have easily mangled the hand as it knocked away the sword we have to assume that the lion just wanted you unarmed.
Of course the problem then is you are facing a lion that knows kung fu and are unarmed….
Let the lion use the sword. Fair’s fair.
Offer to remove the thorn from its paw.
If it doesn’t have a thorn in its paw, I at least have a free action as it checks to make sure.
If it’s a snowy day, I jump into a pit with the lion.
I believe Tim C has the correct answer.
Use techniques gleaned from the newest entry in the popular cheerleading movie franchise: Bring It Ong-Bak.
Bare my chest to the lion.
Since I cannot win against the lion’s kung fu, I can at least meet death bravely.
well you need to grab the ropes and every time the lion hits you you shake the ropes a bit more till you’re super powered with rage and back to full strength, then maybe pound your chest and scream before you clothesline him.
Look it directly in the eyes and tell the lion “It’s not your fault.”
The lion won’t listen at first, so say it again in a firm yet tender voice. Repeat yourself again and again, approaching it slowly, until it finally breaks down crying in your arms. Hug it tightly and let the healing begin.
I grab his mane, swing onto his back and ride him like a bronco.
I’ll die, but what the hell. I rode a lion.
Phone Catwoman or Vixen or Animal Man for advice?
Bleed. Probably a lot.
Headbutt him to death.
If that doesn’t work, bleed all over him cry like a baby until he gives up in disgust.
First, don the glasses given to you by the Macho Man. Then, challenge the lion to go to the forests of his world where he should slice open his heart…
Blood of the Warriors!
Rip out the battery of a nearby abandoned car and throw it at the lion?
Either that or kick it in the face.
Take off and nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Disarm the lion right back with my charm and wit.
Then beat it to death with my shoe.
Retrieve the Power Sword and tell Cringer to knock it off.
Activate my watch to call Superman with the lion head. He is best for solving lion related issues.
Place a desperate call to the residence of one Mr. H. Popnecker.
You growl menacingly and dig your teeth into the lion’s throat.
At least, that’s what you would do…
…if you were REX THE MOTHER FUCKING WONDER DOG.
Wait, wrong blog.
Grab a nearby tiger by its tail, and use it as a club to knock the tiger out.
Scream “I’m a hemophiliac!” and when he lets you go, kick him in the back.
And then when he’s lying down on the ground… kick him in the ribs; step on his neck; and run like hell.
I guess I would just have to apologize for I said about the lion’s mother…
-Citizen Scribbler
Lead it into the Observatory and then watch as Mrs. Peacock kills it with the Candlestick.
Get down on my knees, plead with the lion, and when it gets within range gouge it in the eye with my thumb and steal its wife.
WOOOOOOO!!!!
/stylin & profilin
de-arm the lion
Start running.
Remember, you don’t have to outrun the lion; you just have to outrun your kid sidekick.
Punch it in the face with your free hand.
Or, or, wait. No. Trick question. Kick it in the face, right?
Dwarf Fortress players agree: If at first you don’t succeed, gouge the fuck out of its eyes.
Soil your loincloth?
not a Disarm at all
http://i27.tinypic.com/2dsqowh.jpg
Shoot it.
Like Herr Starr before me, I have no intention of ever being unarmed.
You make sweet, sweet love to that lion all night long baby…
>Kill lion
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
>Defeat lion
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
>Fight lion
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
> Go n
THERE IS A LOCKED DOOR TO THE NORTH
> Unlock door
UNLOCK THE DOOR? WITH WHAT?
> With the key
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
> Unlock door with key
YOU DON’T HAVE A KEY!!!!!!!
> Open door
THE DOOR IS LOCKED
> Open window
I DON’T SEE ANYTHING LIKE THAT HERE…
> Open back door
I DON’T SEE ANYTHING LIKE THAT HERE…
> Open front door
I DON’T SEE ANYTHING LIKE THAT HERE…
> Pick lock
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
> Bash lock
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
> I give up
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
> Just, fuck it, let the lion eat me, whatever
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
> Would you just–!
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
> Dude, seriously?
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
A LION APPROACHES!
A LION BITES YOU FOR 17 DAMAGE!
WHAT DO YOU DO? > _
> I don’t know
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
> Fucking…would you just–
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
A LION APPROACHES!
A LION BITES YOU FOR 32 DAMAGE!
YOU ARE BLEEDING!!!
> Fuck this game, man! Just fuck this shit
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
> Oh, I don’t know how to do that
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
> Well, that’s just great.
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
A LION APPROACHES!
A LION BITES YOU FOR 46 DAMAGE!
YOU ARE BLEEDING!!!
YOU HAVE DIED!!!
YOU WERE SLAIN BY A LION…
RESTART? (Y/N)
> n
YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT
I never thought I’d say this to my commenters, but I am very proud of you.
Well. Most of you.
Grapple to a gargoyle.
Then look for a way to pull a wall down on the lion.
Quick, Robin, use the bat-lion repellent!
“It’s not your fault”
Priceless.
Jump and kick like a sissy until I get to it or the lion takes me down.