Next month, pornography’s most ambitious super-hero movie — even more ambitious than BATFXXX and its eight orgy scenes — will be released: Justice League XXX. And that means only one thing: promotional material for me to make fun of.
This time out, it’s cast pictures, set against truly bizarre photoshopped backgrounds, featuring the (sexy) heroes and (sexy) villains of the (sexy) Justice League of (Sexy) America. And for those of you slacking off at work, don’t worry: I’ve added censor bars to the Flash and Green Lantern’s more prominent Gentleman’s Bulges.
My favorite part is when you point out that porn Zatanna is the same as regular Zatanna.
That’s exactly why I used to waste a lot of time on message boards trying to convince people that her “magician” outfits are way too pervy.
Porn Zatanna doesn’t seem so bad because she’s a real person and you’re supposed to think those crazy boots are kind of hot. But it skeeves me out when fanboys talk about how “hot” drawings of regular Zatanna are and how it would be a major tragedy if she stopped wearing high heels and fishnets while fighting crime.
‘Boss’ has pretty nice nail varnish on. She’d be pretty well colour-coordinated if not for her lipstick.
Before you put the post on here I was looking at Comics Alliance and I was thinking “Hmm, I wonder which of these posts is Sims” and then I saw the porn headline and I didn’t have to glance at the byline, I just knew.
How can they get away with that? And I don’t mean “How dare they get away with that!!” I mean, how do these porn guys get to use established names in the titles? “Well, we were going to sue them into oblivion and chop off a healthy part of Ron Jeremy’s ‘little friend’ to wear as a necklace . . . but since they put three X’s in the title, so our hands are tied.” Is that really the case?
Since porn-Zatanna’s boobs aren’t exploding out of her shirt like regular Zatanna’s, we have an odd situation where porn-Zatanna somehow looks classier. How is that even possible?
I’m trying to figure out the innuendo in the cards Zatanna’s holding, namely two queens and a 4. They couldn’t have gone with a 6 and a 9?
Did anyone else notice that since everyone’s costume has an X somewhere in the design of it Robin’s R becomes a Prescription symbol?
This is all very well, but when oh when do we get the porn version of Femforce?
@Jason: in the USA, as long as it’s in the context of a satirical work the use of public figures or copyrighted properties is protected by the First Amendment. I imagine that’s why they’ve put the word ‘parody’ on the actual title – throw some weak jokes in there and you can get away with almost anything.
I’m sort of disappointed Aquaman has both his hands. Couldn’t they have replaced one with a sex toy attachment or something? That would have been completely awesome.
“The best part, though, is that the guy playing the Flash could not look more bored, which makes me think that he’s been preparing for his role by actually reading comics starring Barry Allen.”
Oooh! Zing!
Nice.