Category Archives: The Week In Ink

The Week In Ink: September 24, 2008

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You know, the Red Skull’s daughter is… What’s the word I’m looking for here, Bucky?

 

 

Ah yes. “Slippery.” That’s the one.

Be that as it may, though, there’s nothing more slippery than my attention span when I’ve got LEGO Batman waiting in the other room, so it looks like it’s time to get on with another round of the Internet’s Most Out of Control Comics Reviews!

I mean seriously, look at all these comics:

 

 

It’s just getting downright ridiculous.

 

 

Comics

 

All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder #10: All right kids, let’s get this out of the way up front: This is the all-new Bowdlerized edition of ASBAR #10, which–previous to this week’s rerelease–included a scene where, in addition to other obscenities, somebody dropped the C-Bomb–which was actually lettered and then covered with a translucent censor bar–in reference to a fifteen year old girl. In a Batman comic. That DC actually published.

Wow.

I mean, that’s pretty much everything you need to know about All-Star Batman right there, a moment that Frank Miller–in one of his genius moments–referred to as “terrible and glorious.” But still, it leaves me with a couple questions. First off, at this point, why even bother correcting it? This is, after all, the comic that brought us the Goddamn Batman–a phrase which I was genuinely shocked did not leave Heath Ledger’s mouth during The Dark Knight–but now that everybody and their mother’s heard about it, we all know what’s being said even without the second of work it would take to figure it out from the context. And really, all that pulping the run’s going to do is ensure that for the forseeable future, we’re going to have to live with a bunch of eBay auctions with headlines like “CGC 9.8 ALL STAR BATMAN BATGIRL NAUGHTY LANGUAGE EDITION L@@K!!!”

And second–and this is the important one–somebody dropped one of the Carlin Seven in a Batman comic that is ostensibly meant for new readers. And really, how the hell do we top that?

My suggestion? Well, depending on whether or not you’re the kind of person who reads through each issue of Previews four times, you may have heard of a company called Graphic Audio that produces audio-play versions of DC stories like Infinite Crisis and 52, and I don’t think I’m exaggerating to say that we need them to do one for ASBAR. They don’t even have to add sound effects, just put a guy in a room and have him read each issue exactly as written. Heck, get Andrew to do it, and I guarantee there will be Grammys.

All of them.

 

Blue Beetle #31: I’ll be honest with you here, folks: I freakin’ love Dr. Mid-Nite.

He’s one of the most underused characters in the DC Universe, mostly because it seemed like Geoff Johns–who lumped him in the initial run of JSA based on his status as a legacy character–had no idea what to do with him. Don’t get me wrong here, that’s not one of my usual digs on Johns; I actually like those comics a lot, but the fact remains that in the Matt Wagner’s original miniseries, Pieter Cross is a man who, like Polite Scott, uses his medical knowledge to become a super-hero.

In his other appearances, though, it got flip-turned upside down, and Mid-Nite became the go-to doctor for the super-hero set and ended up hanging out at headquarters waiting for anybody with a mask to get the Space-Flu or whatever. And that’s when he wasn’t performing autopsies, which I’m pretty sure surgeons don’t usually do, and which I know for a fact very rarely involve throwing down some blackout bombs and punching out thugs.

So it’s nice to see him actually doing some honest-to-God super-heroing in this story. Sure, he shows up in response to a medical emergency, but Sturges makes sure to show him in action here, fighting bad guys and even dropping the occasional dry quip.

Oh, and some good stuff happens with Blue Beetle too, but heck. That happens every month.

 

Hellboy: The Crooked Man #3: In this issue, Hellboy bashes in a Hillbilly Devil’s face with a consecrated shovel.

Goddamn I love comic books.

 

Immortal Iron Fist: Orson Randall and the Death Queen of California: Even with two solid issues of the regular run under his belt, I’ll admit that I’ve still been on the fence about Duane Swierczynski’s run on Immortal Iron Fist, although the fact that I just spelled the guy’s name right from memory is probably a pretty good sign. I’ll be the first to admit that a lot of my hesitation comes from the fact that he’s had a pretty hard act to follow–what with the Brubaker/Fraction/Aja run giving me pretty much everything I want to see in comics short of battery throwing, and they even made up for that by including the Pirate Queen of Pinghai Bay–and call me crazy, but I’ve always had a hard time trusting people who spend any significant amount of time writing about Cable.

With this, though, he’s done a lot to ease my mind, coming through with a pulp-style story of kung fu versus cultists set against the backdrop of exploitation and back-stabbing dames that made up Raymond Chandler’s Los Angeles. Sure, all the clichés are present and accounted for, but it all ends up being pretty fun, especially with the ending that’s equal parts punchline and tragedy.

The art, too, works nicely. Giuseppe Camuncoli is one of those guys that’s always hit or miss with me, but he comes through really well here, especially in the big, OMAC-esque panel of Orson Randall busting through a good portion of the Los Angeles Police Department. So really, I guess what I’m trying to say here is that you’ll probably get a lot of enjoyment out of this one if you’re the type of person who likes two-fisted supernatural Martial Arts action set against a Chandleresque backdrop and drawn with a Kirby Homage or two.

And it just so happens that I am.

 

Nova #17: You know, I never thought I’d be sitting here in the year 2008 getting this excited about a comic with the words “ENTER: DARKHAWK” on the cover. And yet, here we are.

And not only that, but it’s a comic where Darkhawk and Nova have to team up to fight Skrulls at Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S. while accidentally resurrecting the spirit of Wendell “Quasar” Vaughan, the first and greatest of the two Protectors of the Universe to hail from Wisconsin. And again, this is happening in the year two thousand eight. And it’s great, although I’ve got to admit, if it had a chromium cover or some trading cards bound in, then… well, that’d probably be pushing it.

A Xandarian Worldmind POG, on the other hand…

 

Solomon Kane #1: Over on Twitter tonight, Johnny Bacardi was complaining about losing a review of Solomon Kane just after he finished typing it, and I told him that I could knock out a review of this thing in five words:

“Puritain Conan shoots, stabs, proselytizes.”

Of course, he then told me that Solomon Kane wasn’t actually Puritan Conan, and I told him that he’s not my real dad, and things just got stranger from there, but I think both points stand. As one of Robert E. Howard’s lesser-known creations, Kane certainly fits into the mold of the two-fisted wandering adventure hero, but he’s certainly different from his Cimmerian brother.

For one thing, whereas Conan is described as at least being capable of great mirth, Solomon Kane is as dour as the day is long, and pretty much just acts like a dick to everybody, getting by most of the time on his willingness to shoot and/or stab the unrighteous, which he usually defines as “people who are not Solomon Kane.” So maybe a better explanation would be “Total Puritan Badass,” a phrase that doesn’t get thrown around all that often.

Either way, he makes for a good read, and while I would’ve preferred a done-in-one to lead the series rather than jumping into a long-form story-arc, there’s a standalone story over at MySpace Dark Horse Presents that suits that purpose well enough, and Allie and Guevara pull off a good enough hook to pull me in for the next one. Something’s awfully familiar about that name, though…

 

Superman #680: As much as I was excited about James Robinson coming on to write Superman–which was mostly the product of a wellspring of goodwill based on re-reading Starman, which is so good that it can make you forget he wrote the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen movie–I’ve got to admit that I was finding the whole thing pretty boring. Odd, I know, since a big fight between Superman and Jack Kirby’s Atlas should be anything but, except when it drags on for several issues without really resolving itself into anything. I was actually thinking of just giving it up as a lost cause and dropping it.

And then I hit the last page of last month’s issue, and got excited all over again.

For those of you who aren’t reading the series, I’ll explain: The last issue ends with Atlas, who has just beaten the stuffing out of Superman, suddenly finding himself in a staredown with Krypto the Superdog, who resolves, in captions that are only slightly more literate than the ones in We3, that he is going to fight the living hell out of the guy who just punched out his master. And in this issue, he proceeds to do exactly that.

Admittedly, I’m probably more of a fan of Man vs. Animal violence than the average reader, but after having Krypto back for like eight years with a net result of exactly nothing, it’s nice to finally get a story that involves both violence and Superman calling him a good boy in front of the entire city. I’m just sentimental like that.

 

Trades

 

ISB BEST OF THE WEEK

 

 

Basic Instructions: Help Is On The Way: I’ve mentioned before that aside from Penny Arcade, Order of the Stick and the occasional xkcd, I’m not really much of a webcomics fan. This means that I actually do get things done at work on occasion, but the downside is that I’m always late to the party when it comes to finding out about something truly, mind-bendingly awesome like Dr. McNinja. Fortunately, Dark Horse has decided that it’d be a good idea to market directly to people like me, and over the past year or so, they’ve been doing a fine job of putting out some amazingly nice webcomic collections.

Specifically, I’m thinking of Achewood’s Great Outdoor Fight (which, yes, I ended up having a blast with once I read it) and the absolutely gorgeous hardcover of Wondermark. Much like the trend of getting super-hero comics into formats like Marvel’s Premiere Hardcovers or DC’s Omnibus Editions, getting something in a nicer presentation can usually make a guy feel better about not getting in on the ground floor with this stuff.

With the new collection of Scott Meyer’s Basic Instructions, though, there aren’t a whole lot of bells and whistles to distract me from the fact that I should’ve been reading this thing all along.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, Basic Instructions is a series of four-panel guides for getting through life, focusing on topics as varied as How To Help A Friend Cope With A Divorce to How To Threaten Vengeance, rendered by Meyer in simple, photo-traced strips that are dead ringers for army instruction manuals, but with slackers instead of soldiers. It’s an odd little format that could get stale quickly, but Meyer manages to keep it fresh and pretty hilarious in almost every strip, and it’s well worth checking it out.

Seriously, there’s a strip in there that explains how to watch the most perfect movie ever made with your significant other, and that’s advice we could all use.

 

 

And that’s the week. As always, any questions about something I bought or read this week, like whether or not this week’s Wasteland with storybook style art by Black Metal’s Chuck BB was totally awesome (answer: yes) or if the lack of a fauxhawk will keep Lady Bullseye from reaching the heights of Lady Kraven (probably), can be left in the comments section below.

As for me, I’ll be trying to figure out if they bothered to include LEGO Shark-Chuks, or if I’m going to have to wait for LEGO Solomon Stone for that to become a reality.

The Week In Ink: September 17, 2008

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In this week’s DC Nation column, Jann Jones, the editor in charge of DC’s kids line who’s also responsible for Ambush Bug: Year None, tells a heartwarming story about meeting a young girl at HeroesCon who “reminded me of why we work so hard every day to make the best comics possible.”

She does not mention the HeroesCon experience of having three drunks coming up to her in the hotel bar to demand Sugar & Spike reprints. Maybe she’s saving that one for Penthouse Forum.

 

 

And now that I’ve used the kick to the face as the visual equivalent of the rimshot, it looks like it’s time for yet another round of the Internet’s Most Diabolical Comics Reviews!

Here’s what I brought home in a plain brown wrapper this week…

 

 

And here’s what I thought of ’em!

 

 

Comics

 

Age of the Sentry #1: I get the feeling that there’s a comparison that you’re going to be seeing a lot when it comes to this one, so let’s get this out of the way right up front: Age of the Sentry is very reminiscent of Alan Moore’s 1963.

This is not a bad thing.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, 1963 was an image project that Moore, Steve Bisette and Rick Veitch did for Image that was built around creating comics that read like they were from, brace yourselves for the shocker here, the dawn of the Marvel Age in 1963. There were analogues for all the big ones–The Fury was a stand-in for Spider-Man, Mystery Inc. for the Fantastic Four, Horus for Thor and so on–complete with parodies of vintage ads and “Affable Al” Moore doing his best impression of Stan “The Man” Lee’s hype machine. It was even supposed to climax in a big annual that, much like the “lost” Bob Haney Teen Titans story that finally got released last year, was going to involve both aliens and John F. Kennedy, but unfortunately, it never came out, and unlike Lost Girls, there don’t appear to be plans for a bitchin’ hardcover edition.

Still, 1963‘s a hell of a lot of fun, and it’s in that regard more than any other that it’s similar to Age of the Sentry. They’re both lighthearted retro books, but while 1963 was an attempt to create Image characters that fit into the mold of early Marvel, Age of the Sentry‘s an attempt to give a Marvel character the half-nonsensical fun of Silver-Age Superman. And it works beautifully.

I’ll be honest with you, folks: I cannot stand the Sentry. Or rather, I appreciate that it’s interesting to figure out how a DC-style paragon could work in a universe built around heroes with feet of clay, but when he starts showing up in Avengers, it just flat-out doesn’t work, and seeing the phrase “agoraphobic schizophrenic” repeated ad nauseum is only bearable when it leads directly into being punched out by the Hulk.

This, however, is exactly the kind of story that the character can work well in: One that ignores the commentary on comics and just gathers up pieces of the Marvel Universe and has fun with them, and Jeff Parker and Paul Tobin bring the same zippy, fun energy that they’ve put into books like Marvel Adventures Avengers and Agents of Atlas to do just that. The art’s great, too, with Nick Dragotta and Ramon Rosanas playing along with the retro feel of it, and even the small bits, like the slightly off-center coloring in some parts and the “continued after next page” notes before the ads just make it a joy to read.

Heck, it’d be the best of the week easy, if it wasn’t for one thing.

 

ISB BEST OF THE WEEK

 

 

All-Star Superman #12:

 

 

And that’s all I’ve got to say about that. But, if you want someone to use actual sentences to describe the end of the series, Birdie’s got a few of them over at CBR, although he makes the glaring mistake of calling #10 the best issue of the series, when it’s clearly #4, the Jimmy Olsen issue. Just sayin’.

 

Conan the Cimmerian #3: All right, Tim Truman, we gotta talk about all these stories about Connacht that keep cropping up when I’m trying to read about Conan.

If I’m reading things correctly, then Conan the Cimmerian–at least for this first bit–is about Conan’s return to his native Cimmeria after years of wandering around getting into totally awesome adventures, and that’s fine, but if that’s what’s going on, then why does the story have to shift for pages at a time to flashbacks of Conan’s grandfather? I get that it was Connacht’s wanderlust that inspired his grandson and all that, but wouldn’t those stories be more appropriate in showing why Conan left rather than why he’s coming back? And if you just want to tell stories about a barbarian warrior rolling around Zamora and Aquilonia, then why not just do those stories with Conan? Why bother bringing him back to Cimmeria if the focus is just going to shift to other places?

I mean really: It’s not that I’d mind reading about Connacht, and it’s definitely not that I mind reading two-fisted sword and sorcery yarns that are drawn by Richard Corben, and it’s not that either of the stories running through are bad by any means, but it’s not his name on the cover. I mean, as much as these stories are obviously going to tie together, I don’t pick up Batman because I want to see him sitting around a cave thinking about this one time that Thomas Wayne pulled off some awesome surgery, and getting three flashback-heavy issues in a row with every indication that they’re continuing indefinitely isn’t quite the thrill I was hoping for.

 

Incredible Hercules #121: Ever since I posted a scene from it for last week’s Friday Night fights, I’ve been thinking a lot about Walt Simonson’s run on Thor–more than usual, I mean–and I know I say this every month, but I cannot stress it enough: If you like Simonson’s Thor–or hell, if you like good comic books–then you really need to be reading Incredible Hercules.

Like I said, I’ve been through this before so I’ll keep it brief: It’s got the same blend of mythology and the Marvel Universe, the same great, sweeping stories–seriously, the last arc had Hercules, an Eternal, Snowbird from Alpha Flight and the Japanese God of Evil who only speaks in haiku fighting the Skrull gods in Nightmare’s realm–and even the same fun sound effects, which this issue include “SPROY-BLOOM!” and “tic tac toe.”

But even beyond the obvious similarities, they’re both just great comics, and in this issue, Pak, Van Lente and artist Clayton Henry show you what Amazons Attack would’ve been like if it was totally freakin’ awesome. Read it.

 

Marvel Adventures Avengers #28: Ladies and Gentlemen…

 

MOMMA CAGE.

 

Marvel Apes #2: Two issues in, and it’s become clear to me now that Marvel Apes is not the book that I was expecting it to be… It’s actually even better than I could’ve hoped. Why?

Because this is not just a comic about an alternate Marvel Universe where the heroes are apes, but one where the heroes are apes and also some of them are vampires, and the vampire monkey super-heroes are having a secret Civil War.

I mean, I don’t even know how to review something like that, but I swear to you that that is exactly what’s going on here, and it cracks me up every time I think about it. It’s a hoot.

 

The Punisher #62: And speaking of things that we’re two issues into, this is Gregg Hurwitz’s second outing with the Punisher, and I think it’s clear from the way this issue ends that he’s taking a different tact with the character than Garth Ennis. As good as they were, Ennis’s stories in the Max run were procedurals at heart: Each one had virtually the same start (someone does something so horrible that the audience has no trouble in justifying that they need to be killed) and the same finish (Frank kills a bunch of people), and the stuff in the middle was tweaked into an enjoyably jagged line that connected the endpoints. It’s a forumla, but it’s a formula that worked, whether the catalyst was the insulting personal tragedy of Up Is Down and Black Is White or the gut-wrenching brutality of The Slavers (probably the best and most archetypical story of the Max era), and it had the side effect of casting the Punisher himself as less of a character and more of a plot device. We don’t identify with Frank because we sympathize with his loss, but because Ennis shows us people he encounters through the same black-and-white filter that divides them into people who can live and people so horrible that we can’t wait to see them killed.

Hurwitz, however, seems to want to make the Punisher a character again, and so in this issue, he goes for his Big Moment by–spoiler warning–having Frank accidentally kill a young girl that was set out as bait. It certainly presents a conflict, but it’s one that relies on the cheap shock than exploration of the character. For him to make a mistake like this certainly casts him in the light of someone who’s only human–which I’m sure was Hurwitz’s intention–but the problem there is that he’s not only human. He’s a comic book character that’s been built around and portrayed as an archetype of cold, seething vengeance for the past eight years, and unless this story ends with Castle blowing his own brains out, this gives us a bit of a problem. The Punisher isn’t really known for his forgiveness–he’s not called the Forgiver, after all–and given how he chooses to spend his time, one can assume that he’s at least as hard on himself as anyone else. Odds are the girl was dead before he got there, which will provide an easy out without actually addressing the issue, but still.

Under a writer that I had more confidence in–not to dig on Hurwitz too hard, but this is the second comic he’s written that I’ve read, so there’s a lack of familiarity in play–I’d have more faith for seeing how it could play out, but given that this issue ends with a crane shot of the Punisher kneeling down with the caption “I feel” that could only be more lip-tremblingly emo if they’d printed some Dashboard Confessional lyrics across the bottom of the page, hopes are not high.

 

War Heroes #2: I don’t mean to be a dick about this, but it seems like Mark Millar’s gotten awfully cocky lately. I mean, I’m sure he works hard on his scripts, but like everything he’s written lately, it’s full of wooden characters who ejaculate tough-guy dialogue and stiff lines in the most turgid political metaphors in comics. The only difference is that here, the members of the cast are soldiers, which means they spend their time polishing their helmets instead of ironing their tights. I guess it was a boner for me to pick up another issue, but it just feels like Millar’s giving his readers the shaft once again with another package of the same old junk.

Also, there’s totally a penis in this book.

 

 

And on that 13-hit combo, I’m calling it a night. Special thanks to Dr. K for his help, and as always, questions and comments about the week’s books are welcome below, so feel free to discuss how absolutely gorgeous the new Local hardcover is, or the mind-boggling awesomeness of Blade’s new haircut.

In the meantime, I’m going to slowly realize that I think about the Punisher way, way more than I ought to.

The Week In Ink: August 10, 2008

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You know, for someone who’s been paralyzed from the waist down for the past twenty years, Barbara Gordon sure is dealing out a lot of facekicks this week, both in costume…

 

 

…and out of it:

 

 

Thank heavens for time travel and flashback stories!

Anyway, now that I’ve once again skewed my Google hits towards people looking for “Batgirl out of costume,” it’s time for another round of the Internet’s Most Raucous Comics Reviews! Here’s what I picked up this week…

 

 

…and here’s what I thought about ’em!

 

 

Comics

 

ISB BEST OF THE WEEK

 

 

Criminal 2 #5: I realize that everything I’m about to say about Criminal has already been said in one form or another, but sometimes, it just bears repeating that this is a book everyone–everyone–ought to be reading.

Not just because it’s a fantastic comic book, although it’s easily one of the best books on the stands, and has been since it started, which, considering that it’s got one of the best creative teams in comics working on it, should probably be expected. After all, there’s a note on the back of this one reminding us that Ed Brubaker’s gotten the Eisner for Best Writer two years in a row, and while they have been known to hand those out to the occasional random issue of Justice League or whatever, Brubaker’s got more than enough talent to back his up. The stories he tells here are sharp and brutal, full of nasty people doing nasty things to each other in a world where daylight seems to have taken a permanent vacation.

And Sean Phillips… I never really know what to say about really good artists, since it’s easier for people to just take a look and see for themselves, but with Phillips, the appeal of his work on Criminal is easy to describe. He takes Brubaker’s scripts and draws them with a dark, heavy mood that’s almost dripping off the page in every desperate, broken-down face. He draws guys with gnarled fingers and paunches that sneer at each other in tight panels, and when an issue calls for its main character to look like he’s been held at gunpoint for a week, then by God, he looks like he’s been held at gunpoint for a week.

But you could say all that about Brubaker and Phillips’ previous collaboration, the super-hero spy noir thriller Sleeper, too, and you’d be right. But what sets Criminal apart from Sleeper–and from most other comics in general–is that it’s not just a comic book, but an exploration of crime noir as a genre. With each issue, you’ve got the story itself–where Brubaker dusts off all the cliches, from the Girl You Loved Who Betrayed You But Then She Came Back And Damn It She Did It Again to the Guy Who Thought He Was Out But Got Pulled Back In and makes them sing–and then the equally fascinating essays by other writers–this issue’s features Manhunter’s Marc Andreyko and The Punisher’s Steven Grant–that examine other works of the genre, often dealing with the same tricks and influences that Brubaker’s bringing to the table in his scripts. It all adds up to something that’s enjoyable in more ways than even most great comics can manage, and at $3.50 a pop, it’s still one of the best values in comics.

If you haven’t jumped on it, then by all means grab the trades and enjoy, or do yourself a favor and see about tracking down the issues, since the essays haven’t been reprinted elsewhere. It’s well worth it.

 

The Damned: Prodigal Sons #3: And speaking of crime noir thrillers that Get It Right, we have the last issue of Cullen Bunn and Brian Hurtt’s second series of The Damned, and once again, I’m at a point where I’m not sure what else I can say about it. After all, once you’ve said something so nice that they decide to slap it on the cover, where do you go from there?

Oh well, I’ll give it a shot anyway, because now that the series is over, I can confirm that as much as I liked the first series, Prodigal Sons blows it away in terms of sheer entertainment. Since its first issue, The Damned has been one of those rare books that manages to walk the line between two genres–supernatural horror and retro crime thriller–but with the addition of Eddie’s brother Morgan, they’ve thrown another chainsaw into their already impressive juggling act and added a strong dose of comedy. I’ve mentioned the slapstick aspect of the story before, with Morgan and a hapless gal hauling Eddie’s (potentially lethal) cadaver around with ensuing hijinx, and while it’s impressive enough that those scenes are actually really funny, it’s even more impressive that they don’t detract from the serious parts of the book. It’s a fantastic read, and while I was curious at the end of the last series, this one’s got me more than a little interested in what comes next.

 

The Goon #28: A few days ago, Mark Hale was reading the Goon out in public when someone asked him what it was about, and he responded by telling them that it was about a guy who “wears a hat and punches things.” And really, that’s as good a summary of anything as you’re likely to find.

And pretty accurate, too: After all, the Goon does wear a hat, and this issue’s pretty much built around a double-page spread where he punches a prostitute mule right in the face. But while it’s more than enough to get the casual reader interested–“A hat, you say? AND punching?”–it does leave out the fact that beneath all of that, Eric Powell’s steadily been building something deeper, underpinning his two-fisted comedy with bits of genuine tragedy, leading off with the scene where the Goon was told flat out that he could never, ever be happy in his life and just dragging him down further ever since. It’s a stealthy bit of complexity that Powell works with–and occasionally actively denies–but it’s there, and it’s great.

So, The Goon: Come for the mule-punching, stay for the emotional resonance. Or the other way around. Hell, I don’t care, so long as some mules get punched.

 

Invincible #52: You know, one of these days I’m eventually going to stop being shocked when I’m reading through an issue of Invincible and suddenly find myself staring at a panel where someone’s getting their guts punched out, because we’re getting to the point now where I can almost set my watch by it.

Now, before I get a bunch of comments from people chiming in to let me know that I don’t understand Invincible and that having a character’s internal organs ripped out of their torso in livid color on-panel is completely necessary for the advancement of the plot, I’d like to point out that unlike the last time this happened, I don’t actually have a problem with it. Before, it wasn’t just the violence that got to me–although it does make an otherwise fantastic teenage super-hero book tougher sale for kids looking to jump on an exciting, fun comic that’s a step up from stuff like Ultimate Spider-Man–but the fact that it seemed so completely unnecessary from a storytelling standpoint. Here, though, the shock value actually adds to something beyond itself, leading to the contrast of Mark’s horror and his brother’s completely dispassionate reaction.

It’s not something that I’d like to see in my comics on a regular basis, but since I remember talking about my disappointment in Invincible‘s last blood-soaked fight scene, I thought I’d point out an example of when it’s done right. Still, I can’t help but think that the fact that there’s a “last time” to be referenced so easily cheapens things a little, although I suppose there’s an equal possibility that the repetition’s made it into a recurring theme that’ll be strengthened with each instance and the characters’ reactions to it.

Or maybe it’s just a guy getting his brain punched out. That’s a possibility too.

 

Trades

 

Batman: The Black Glove HC: If you were reading the ISB when it was coming out, you might remember that I fllipped right out about the three-part Club of Heroes story that leads this volume, and you probably won’t be surprised when I flip out about it again now, because it is seriously my favorite Batman story of the last ten years.

So much so, in fact, that I just went back and re-read it between reviews, thus proving that my desire to see Batman be a total badass trumps my desire to finish up writing reviews and get some sleep any day of the week, which–again–is probably not going to come as a surprise to anyone. But the point stands. I’ve always been fascinated by the idea of the Club of Heroes–a group of “International Batmen” from one appearance in the fifties that were themed to their particular country in the charming way that most non-American comic book characters were and are, an idea later recycled into an enjoyably terrible Green Arrow story–and seeing them done this well, with a locked room murder mystery writ large, was the high point of Grant Morrison’s run with the character so far.

Plus, what with the fact that it’s drawn by J.H. Williams, it’s far and away the best looking, with the same kind of innovative page layouts and different stylistic choices for each character that you’d expect from a guy with his talent. Unfortunately, the same can’t be said for the rest of the book–wherein Tony Daniel draws the adventures of the false Batmen and space-induced hallucinations–but it’s not bad, and heck, I’d pay the cover price just to see the Knight and Squire in action again.

 

High School Musical: Lasting Impressions GN: Oh snap, you guys, this thing right here is off the fuckin’ chain!

Okay, so get this: The East High Drama Class is doing a new play, right? And it’s about an impressionist painter who falls in love with this girl, which–OF COURSE–is totally the same plot as Twinkle Towne, but with more inexplicably elaborate sets, and so Troy and Gabriella both audition, but–buckle the fuck up, yo–Troy gets a part, and Gabriella DOESN’T! And to make things even worse, Sharpay gets the female lead, and you KNOW she’s going to be trying to drive a wedge between them! Plus, Ryan has to learn new choreography, and he gets inspired by watching breakdancers in a thematic callback to Coyote Ugly!!

And I’ll stop now, because I just realized that the jokes about my overenthusiasm for this would be lost on anyone who is not a) passingly familiar with High School Musical and b) a regular ISB reader, a narrow audience made up of exactly me.

 

 

And on that oddly self-referential note, I’m done here. As always, questions etc. can be left in the comments section, and really: If you haven’t read Gotham Central, there’s a hardcover now, and as long as you actually have eyes, you have no further excuse. So get on it!a

 

ADDENDUM: I forgot to mention this last night since I left it in the other room, but I also picked up the new collection of Rich Burlew’s Order of the Stick—War and XPs–of which I am an unabashed fan. If you haven’t been reading it, the whole thing’s available for free online–because, you know, that’s how webcomics roll–but the trades also contain additional strips and bonus material. I don’t believe they’ve hit Diamond yet, but if your local shop carries any good amount of gaming stuff, they should be able to get it from one of the other distributors. Pick it up!

The One-Sentence Week In Ink: September 3, 2008

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Tony Stark! Makes you feel! That he’s gonna kick you in the face with a jet-boot!

 

 

Yeah, my songwriting could probably use some work, but hey! At least the comics reviews are delivered on time and in an easily digestible format!

That’s right, folks: With the Labor Day delay in comics–unless you’re some kind of Godless Heathen Canadian–time’s short and I only just finished reading through this week’s books myself, so tonight, I’m trying something a little different. After all, while I have been accused of offering “blunt, authoritatively stated” reviews, brevity is the soul of wit, so tonight, I’m going to be summing up my thoughts on this week’s titles in one sentence. Or, you know, two if you count the alt text. Either way, it all adds up to another round of the Internet’s Most Concise Comics Reviews!

Here’s what I bought this week…

 

 

…and away we go!

 

 

Comics

 

Amazing Spider-Man #570: It’s hard to tell since this is a franchise that has given us the Enforcers, the White Rabbit, Golden Oldie and Banjo, but I’m pretty sure that for sheer bat-shit crazines to actual enjoyability ratio, Anti-Venom–the former host of Venom who was infected with Negative Antibodies that gave him the ability to cure cancer with his tentacles–is at least in the top five.

 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #18: In tonight’s episode of Joss Whedon: Feminist, Willow unleashes a spell of such epic proportions that it can only be completed by getting naked for a stirring round of lesbian sex, which explains why it was taken off the curricula at both Hogwarts and Miss Cackle’s.

 

Fables #75: According to a conversation I had with Matt Sturges at HeroesCon, the story that finishes up in this week’s issue of Fables was actually the planned ending Bill Willingham had for the book that he just decided to go ahead and do without actually ending the darn thing, which sounds crazy but–since this is Fables–ends up working out pretty well.

 

Invincible Iron Man #5: In addition to a healthy dose of Jet-Boot Face-Kicking and Laser-Beam Decapitation, this issue of Invincible Iron Man also boasts… well, it’s got Jet-Boot Facekicking and Laser-Beam Decapitation, and what the hell more do you want from Iron Man than that?

 

Iron Man: Golden Avenger: Hey, aside from the fact that they, you know, want it to sell better, is there any reason this issue of Marvel Adventures Iron Man doesn’t say “Marvel Adventures Iron Man” on the cover?

 

Marvel Apes #1: Hey, if you’ve ever wondered what JLApe would be like if it was a) like ten times better, b) involved a gorilla luchadore (or Gorilluchadoreâ„¢), and c) took a swerve into hardcore gangland style murder at the end, then brother, have I got the comic for you.

 

ISB BEST OF THE WEEK

 

 

Savage Dragon #137: I’ve never been a big Savage Dragon reader–although when I knocked out the first Essential Archive on a slow day at work, I enjoyed the heck out of it–but I jumped on this issue for an appearance by the Amazing Joy Buzzards, and was pleasantly surprised to find what are probably the two greatest panels of the year:

 

 

 

Secret Six #1: Despite the fact that Gail Simone has done me the grievous insult of not following me on Twitter-even though she’s following Kevin and Ken and a bunch of other people that I can only classify as “unsavory louts”–I still tend to enjoy her comics, especially the ones where Deadshot and Cat-Man buy ice cream and beat up skinheads.

 

Street Fighter Remix #0: Only two kicks to the face in the whole damn book, but since a bear does catch a Spinning Piledriver from Zangief, I think we can call it a draw.

 

Trades

 

Impossible Territories: The Unofficial Companion to the League of Extraordinary Gentlemen: The Black Dossier: True Fact: While Dr. K is acknowledged in the foreword as a contributor to Jess Nevins’ fascinating annotations, I, who inspired Nevins with my own annotations of the Anita Blake comics*, am totally snubbed.

 

*: This is 100% not true.

 

INVASION!: No, your eyes do not deceive you: The cover to DC’s best crossover now reads “SECRET NO MORE,” and that is genius.

 

 

And that, my friends, is the rather abbreviated week. As always, any one-sentence questions or comments you might have, such as assuring me that I’m not the only person in the world who picked up Al Jaffee’s absolutely fantastic Tall Tales can be left in the comments section below.

Seriously, though: Gorilluchadore. Call me, Marvel.

The Week In Ink: August 27, 2008

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Well, folks… we lost a good one this week.

 

 

But really, a panel where you kick Batman’s head out of the panel so hard that you get blood-red speed lines and an explosion? Now that’s a way to go out.

And it’s also a pretty good way to introduce another round of the Internet’s Most Procrastinatorial Comics Reviews! Here’s what I picked up this week…

 

 

…and here’s what I thought about ’em!

 

Comics

 

Avengers: The Initiative #16: I could waste everyone’s time with a proper review for this one, but here’s the only fact you need to know to inform your purchase: This issue features the mind-blowing cannibalistic return of the Skrull Kill Krew.

For those of you who aren’t familiar, allow me to explain: The Krew–not to be confused with the Crew, the Crewe or the Crüe–is easily one of the craziest ideas Grant Morrison or Mark Millar have ever come up with. Their origin, handily recapped in this issue, goes like this: When Reed Richards gets the bright idea to hypnotize some shape-shifting Skrulls into thinking that they’re cows in the pages of #2, there were two things that he didn’t forsee: a) That said cow Skrulls would later shoot down the Vision, a move of which the ISB wholeheartedly approves, and b) that said Skrull-cows would mistakenly get lumped in with regular cows, be ground into hamburger, and served at McDonald’s, giving a few of the people who ate them–including a fashion model, a punk rock girl and a Neo-Nazi with a claw hammer–a bad case of terminal super-powers.

Even for 1995, that concept was a little out there, and as you might expect, it was quietly turned into a mini-series with the second issue and ended at #5. Still, it’s almost the definition of a rip-snortin’ fun comic, and I’m honestly surprised that it’s taken them this long to show up again, since the only character more well-suited to Secret Invasion is a certain Greatest of the Spaceknights who has a machine that can detect shape-shifters and spent the past two centuries fighting not just Skrulls, but Skrull Witches. For serious.

 

Blue Beetle #30: Back at HeroesCon, one of the bright spots in the otherwise dismal DC Nation panel was getting to hear Matt Sturges talk about his upcoming run on Blue Beetle, which included him telling the crowd how he was planning on doing a scene set at a miniature golf course based around super-heroes that never bothered to update their displays. Well, here we are a few months later, and said scene has finally arrived. Admittedly, it’s not played off quite the way I’d imagined it–you don’t have to shoot around Aquaman’s hook hand–and if I didn’t know what to look for, I might’ve missed the gag, but man. Seeing a cardboard cutout of the late-80s Marv Wolfman Vigilante and his motorcycle blocking a hole had me almost dying.

And here’s the thing: That’s not even the best part of this issue, an honor that clearly goes to Jaime’s post-fight “I did it–with science!” I’ll admit that while I like Sturges and his work on titles like Jack of Fables a heck of a lot, I wasn’t sure about having him on Blue Beetle–mostly because I just loved John Rogers’ run so damn much–but an issue that can bring me both of those… That’s well worth it.

 

ISB BEST OF THE WEEK

 

 

Catwoman #82: Speaking of the DC Nation panel from HeroesCon–and I swear this’ll be the last time I talk about it for a while–that was the one where I got to see Rachelle stand up to ask Dan DiDio what the chances were that we’d get to see any more Will Pfeifer/David Lopez Catwoman, to which the big D responded by (a) seriously flipping out and telling her that books with low sales get canceled (a fact refuted every month by the continued publication of Simon Dark, and (b) telling her that if she wanted more Catwoman, she should pick up Detective Comics, where Catwoman was teaming up with Batman to fight Hush.

There are, as you might imagine, a number of problems with this scenario, and around 80% of them revolve around anyone ever thinking a story that involved fucking Hush would be any good whatsoever. Spoiler Warning! They’re not.

Anyway, DiDio’s point-missing aside, there’s a darn good reason why Rachelle wants more of Pfeifer and Lopez on Catwoman, and that’s because for the past few years, they’ve put out what is consistently and easily one of the best books on the stands, even if me, her and Dr. K are apparently the only three people on the continent who know that. Still, that doesn’t change the fact that it’s true: They’ve had an incredible run, and the only thing I don’t like about it is that there isn’t any more of it.

As for the issue itself, well, getting to end a book in exactly the way you want to is a luxury that’s pretty much reserved just for Garth Ennis and James Robinson, but Pfeifer–who makes an appearance in the issue getting his XBox 360 on alongside Lopez–makes the best of the apparent plans to resettle Catwoman on the side of the fence for antagonistic anti-heroes by having her essentially mug Batman, have a profound personal revelation, and then carjack the fucking Batmobile in the span of about six pages.

And that is awesome.

 

Final Crisis: Superman Beyond #1: All right, let’s get this out of the way up front: Ultramenstruum.

There. Now maybe I can focus on aspects of the book that didn’t make me do a spit-take at work yesterday, but to be honest, there’s just not a lot to talk about. For the first issue, anyway, this is exactly what they said it was: A story where Superman tears ass through a bunch of other dimensions with interdimensional versions of himself–including the suspiciously Dr. Manhattanesque Captain Atom of Earth-4–to learn the Secret Origin of the both the Universe and himself, and even with the fact that it’s dressed up in slightly cryptic prophecies, it’s pretty straightforward, and pretty awesome in its simplicity: Superman exists to protect the world of imaginary stories. Space Cabbie guest-stars.

As to the art, I’ve mentioned before that outside of stories where Frankenstein fights people on mars, I’m not a huge fan of Doug Mahnke’s art, but man, he does a darn good job here. Maybe it’s just the inks by… Hold up, there’s five inkers on this book? Wow. Well, it certainly ended up looking pretty good, which, considering the usual look of books that go through five inkers before they hit the stands, is no mean feat in itself. As to the 3D, well, as much as it’s an imperfect gimmick that gets in the way of the story more often than it enhances it, I’ll admit to having a soft spot for it that probably dates back to a Rocketeer book and tape set that I had when I was a kid. To be honest, though, it would’ve been nice if there was some kind of indication in the book as to when we were supposed to put on the glasses; aside from the scene where Superman “activates his 4-D vision,” there’s no clues like there were in Black Dossier, and since the book actually starts with a 3D sequence that you have to flip past before you even get to where the glasses are bound in, it turns out to be pretty annoying.

Still, though: The very concept of Superman as the protector of fiction itself. That’s rad enough to deal with a little eyestrain.

 

Nova #16: Just a quick note here: In this issue, Nova not only fights Skrulls who have disguised themselves as children, but Skrulls who have disguised themselves as children who are also adorable kitties.

You know, just in case you were wondering why I freakin’ love Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning.

 

Wolverine #68: Okay, folks, confession time: I’ve been reading “Old Man Logan.”

Now, before you get the wrong idea here, yes, I know it’s no good for me, and no, I assure you, I haven’t been trying to hide it by keeping it out of my weekly reviews from embarrassment. I mean, you guys know I get Tarot, and really, this is only slightly less worthwhile. The fact of the matter is that until this issue, I just hadn’t bothered to actually buy any of ’em, because they had yet to get to the point where the story was so aggressively stupid that actually transcended itself to become entertaining.

And brother, is it ever. Originally billed as “the most important Wolverine story of all time” by habitual liar Mark Millar, I think I can sum it up a little better. Have you always wanted to read a gritty story of the future of the Marvel Universe like Days of Future Past or The Last Avengers Story or Future Imperfect or Here Comes Tomorrow or Earth X (and so on), but haven’t had the time? Well, just read Old Man Logan, because it’s everything you can see in those, except that it came out this month and reads like it was filtered through a copy of Con Air.

Which–and this is the shocking part–isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Sure, it’s goofy as all hell and you’d have to be a remedial third grader to think it had any depth whatsoever or fail to figure out where we’re going with the plot–Wolverine has, naturally, sworn himself to a life of nonviolence and keeping his claws sheathed, which means that the odds of him not only popping his claws but returning home as a total badass, beating up the inbred Hulks and becoming Super Badass King of California are a solid 1:1–but that doesn’t mean that it can’t be fun, and if there’s one thing Millar’s proven himself to be adept at over the past few years, it’s writing the comic book equivalent of Transporter 2.

And that’s what we’ve got here: A big, loud, monumentally stupid fight comic in which an actual story would only get in the way. But hey, it’ll kill five minutes in a pretty enjoyable manner, and really, what more do you want from something with Wolverine in it?

 

Trades

 

Fantastic Four Visionaries: Walt Simonson v.1: Okay, seriously, Marvel: What the hell.

Longtime ISB readers might recall that Walt Simonson’s Fantastic Four–which includes a scene where Mr. Fantastic hooks Thor’s hammer up to Iron Man’s armor and then patches it through his Time Sled so that they can team up with Galactus to fight the Black Celestial holy crap I love comic books–is one of my favorite runs of all time. That being the case, I fully support getting more of it in trade and available to new readers, but this… Man. This thing is just rough.

First of all, the damn thing’s only five issues, which wouldn’t be a huge problem since it’s at a relatively low price point of $14.99, but not only does this thing contain a fill-in issue that Walt Simonson had absolutely nothing to do with, it leads the book with it. That’s right, folks: You go to the store, pick up a book entitled Fantastic Four Visionaries: Walter Simonson, open it up to page one, and get a Danny Fingeroth story about the dangers of playing with fire that, as Bully the Little Stuffed Bull will attest, is just awful.

Under normal circumstances, I could understand including it just for the sake of not busting up the numbering, but seriously: When your book’s based around collecting the work of a particular creator, including an issue that he didn’t work on, that doesn’t tie in with the rest of the run and that’s not very good to begin with just boggles the mind. I mean, would it really have made less sense to cut this and #351 out, put a 24.99 price tag on it and then collect up through the Dr. Doom story, a whopping total of nine Simonson issues? Or am I just being too picky?

 

JLA: Deluxe Edition v.1 HC: Hey, remember that time that they relaunched the JLA and they didn’t sit around a table scrapbooking for five issues and it didn’t suck ass and was actually one of the best comics of the decade? Well, now you can buy it a third time, like I did.

 

 

And on that dubious purchasing habit, I’m done here. As always, feel free to bring up any questions you might have in the section below, unless you’re going to tell me that I’m wrong about the FF trade, because that’s seriously messed up. Instead, why not talk about the great recoloring job on The Origin of Danny Rand or the awesome last page of Superman or how Wolverine: First Class manages to have Wolverine in it and be fun without being stupid?

After all, that’s not an easy trick to pull off.

The Week In Ink: August 20, 2008

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Apparently, we’re in one of those weird, nebulous weeks where, despite my best efforts, I didn’t buy a single comic with a kick to the face, which is probably because Diamond futzed up our order on Iron Fist: The Origin of Danny Rand.

Fortunately, we did get Conan’s grandfather punching out a werewolf.

 

 

Now I’m reasonably certain that there’s a clause in my contract that explicitly states that I don’t have to review any comics on a week with no face-kicking, but what the heck. Not like I was doing anything tonight anyway, so I might as well get on with another round of the Internet’s Most Contractually Obligated Comics Reviews!

Here’s what I bought…

 

 

And here’s what I thought about ’em!

 

 

Brave and the Bold #16: Despite the fact that the contents of this issue do absolutely nothing to clear up the mystery of its solicitation, Mark Waid’s run on this quietly continues along as a great little team-up book that’s heavy on its DC Universe aspects without being bogged down by the baggage that usually comes along with that. It’s fun stuff, and with the fun twist of the second-act reveal and its zippy, done-in-one format, this issue in particular reads more like a classic Haney/Aparo BATB story than anything in the series thus far, and I enjoyed the heck out of it.

Of course there is one nagging aspect of it that raised my eyebrow, and that’s the scene where Superman says “You must be Catwoman,” as though those two have never met before. Now, I hate to nitpick the guy who wrote Who’s Who, but not only am I pretty sure those two have met, I’m pretty sure that they did it in the pages of a book Waid was the fill-in writer for. So feel free to grab your crayons–kids, get your parents’ permission–and add the following exchange on Page 5:

“You must be Catwoman.”

“Uh, yeah. We’ve met.”

“Oh, have we?”

“Yeah, you don’t remember? That time up on your old Moon-Base when Prometheus was about to kill the entire JLA and I whipped him right in the beanbag?”

“Oh, gosh, you’re right, that was awesome! Sorry, I didn’t recognize you.”

“It’s okay. That was back when Jim Balent was drawing me.”

Problem solved.

 

Doctor Who: The Forgotten #1: I’ll be honest here, folks: I’m not the Doctor Who fan that some of my friends are. I’m certainly not on the level of Dorian or Lartigue or my pal Chad, who can’t get through a day without using the words “Jon Pertwee” in a sentence. I mean, I like the show a lot–because really, where else am I going to see the Daleks, Venusian Karate, or Donovan from Last Crusade turning into a Lizard-Man who fights Tom Baker at the beginning of time–but, well, a guy can’t be obsessed with everything, and knowing that Roadblock’s real name is Marvin F. Hinton takes up a lot of head space.

Even so, I know better than to miss out on a Doctor Who comic drawn by Y – The Last Man’s Eisner-winning Pia Guerra that features a scene where the Doctor walks into a room to find all of his old “costumes” on display in Jason Todd-like cases.

And it works out pretty well: The art’s predictably solid, and while there are scenes where I’ll cop to thinking that Guerra’s David Tennant looked an awful lot like Yorick Brown, she manages to do something that’s rarely pulled off well in licensed comics by capturing the look of the actors without seeming overly photo-referenced. Her David Tennant’s got the mannerisms of wide-eyed distraction, her Martha looks curious, and her William Hartnell–whose sequence is done entirely in black and white–comes off as suitably austere and superior. As for the story, well, much like The Ten Doctors, it’s “fan-fiction done right.” It’s the sort of thing that could only be done in comics, it’s zippy and entertaining, and for a guy like me who has never actually seen anything with the First Doctor, Tony Lee brings in everything I need to know without slowing things down.

It’s good stuff, and I’m looking forward to the rest of the series, especially if there’s a chance we’ll get more of that Dalek/Cyberman shit-talking contest I like so much.

 

ISB BEST OF THE WEEK

 

 

Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds #1: Okay, standard caveats here: As some of you might recall, I love the Legion, but even I’m annoyed with the constant state of flux in which the characters exist. It’s not so much the constant reboots that bother me, but the fact that for all intents and purposes, we’ve got four completely different sets of them running around, and when you put those two together, you end up with something that takes a beautifully simple concept (super-space teenagers of the future!) and makes it daunting even for a lot of hardcore comics fans. And even beyond that is the fact that Geoff Johns seems to have decided that the early-’80s Dystopian Future Legion is the “real” team, and while they’re the Originals and I like those stories a hell of a lot, they suffer from a) leaving one of the book’s cornerstones (teenagers) in the dust, and b) not being the team that’s actually appearing in Legion of Super-Heroes. Even by Legion standards, it’s a bit of a mess right now.

That said, this issue is completely freakin’ awesome.

Long-time ISB readers might recall that aside from Booster Gold, I’d pretty much given up on Geoff Johns until I picked up and thoroughly enjoyed his recent Superman and the Legion, and at least so far, FCLO3W is more a direct sequel to that story than anything having to do with Final Crisis. In either case, it’s exactly the kind of story that plays to Johns’s strengths: the Legion lends itself pretty easily to big, sweeping melodrama, slavish attention to obscure reference-dropping and a big, crazy future that’s been so cut off and reworked that you can’t even really break it anymore. It’s the perfect playground for him, and in this issue, it just works. So well, in fact, that they’re using Superboyman Prime as the villain and it’s actually not stupid.

Of course, the fact that the art’s by George Perez doesn’t hurt either, because that guy, as you may already know, is pretty okay. It’s not going to be news to anyone that he routinely drops eleven-panel pages and alternates them with big, beautiful spreads with the same amount of gorgeous detail, but it’s worth saying again because seriously: Dude is awesome.

It all adds up to the kind of book that just sweeps you right up the fun of it all, building to the “fuck yeah!” moment of Brainiac 5 deciding that the only way to deal with an Evil Interdimensional Superman is to recruit the Interdimensional Legions of Super-Heroes, which had me excited even though I knew it was coming because that is in the title of the series.

Plus, it has Holographic Tour Guide Jimmy Olsen and his phone-tree dialogue, which is just fantastic. It’s a great start, and if it can hold the momentum for the next four issues–and while I can get pretty pessimistic about that sort of thing, I’m starting to believe Johns can pull it off–it might just end up being one of my favorite comics of the year.

 

Punisher #61: I don’t run a comic book company or anything–which you may have already figured out from the fact that there’s nothing called Batroc Team-Up Featuring ROM on the shelf at your local store–but I’ve got to question the wisdom of putting out the next issue of the Punisher one week after Garth Ennis ends his character-defining eight-year run on the title. I guess the idea here is that they want to make this as smooth a transition as possible, or maybe that they don’t want to allow time for nostalgia to set in and set the bar higher for Gregg Hurwitz than it already is, but dude: Eight years. Some people, people who use panels from the Ennis run as the header images of their websites, are already going to have the deck stacked against him, so why not give us a couple weeks to mourn the loss before kicking it right along to the new guy?

Oh well, in any case, it’s here, and it’s not helping the uphill climb that Hurwitz–or anyone else who wants to do a “serious” take on the Punisher over the next few years–is going to have to face to get out of Ennis’s shadow. To be honest, though, the issue itself is actually better than I expected. It might just be a case of me setting the bar lower in an attempt to compensate (“Well it’s not Ennis, but what is?”) but for a first issue, it’s not bad. Hurwitz is obviously drawing a lot from the Ennis run, but more than anything else, it reminds me of the older Carl Potts Punisher War Journal, giving us a threat that we have an immediate reason to hate and then bringing Frank in as our gloomy dispenser of justifiable homicide.

The biggest problem for me is that Hurwitz’s Punisher is a little verbose for my tastes. It’s an odd thing to say considering that he only says 44 words out loud in the course of the comic, but eleven of them come in a last-page tough-guy word balloon that would be more at home coming out of Jesse Custer’s mouth than Frank Castle’s. Still, it’s not bad, and hell, I’ve got a couple hundred comics about the Punisher that, for a large part, are no damn good, so who am I to stop now? You, on the other hand, might want to flip through it first.

 

Skrulls vs. Power Pack #2: And now, the best comic book cover of the week month year NEW WILLENNIUM:

 

 

And the interior has H.E.R.B.I.E. in bling. Nothing more need be said.

 

True Believers #2: I mentioned this one when the first issue came out but, what with being on vacation and all, didn’t get the chance to give it a proper review. So in case you missed it, True Believers marks a return to comics for the legendary Cary Bates—yes, that Cary Bates–and it is awesome. Between the first issue’s reference to the “Crusty Bunker”, this issue’s drunken Reed Richards mugshot, and the fact that this is a story where the main character is named “Payback” called “Payback’s a Bitch,” it’s pretty much everything I ever wanted it to be.

Plus ghosts.

 

Trades

 

Herbie Archives v.1: You know what? I’m not even going to review this one. Why? Because between me, Mike Sterling, and the rest of the comics blogger Internet, I’m pretty sure we will have talked about every single page of this thing by the end of the year.

You’re probably gonna want to read it before then.

 

The Middleman: The Collected Series Indispensability: This one’s a bit of a cheat, since I actually picked it up when it came out last week, but one of the perks of paying the bills around here is that I get to talk about The Middleman anytime I damn well please. Which is actually pretty often.

Anyway, there may be a few of you out there that are familiar with The Middleman from the TV show version that’s currently airing on ABC Family, and if there’s anyone out there not watching it, then seriously: You need to get on that. I mean, for God’s sake, last week’s episode featured Kevin Sorbo as the Cryogenically Frozen Middleman of 1969, and seriously, that is fantastic. It’s a very, very fun show, and if you’ve been seized by Middlemania (you can have that one for free, Grillo-Marxuach), the new trade makes for a dandy read.

It’s got all three mini-series–all of which are drawn by the incomparably awesome Les McClaine–and while the first two were straight up adapted on the show for episodes that featured gorilla mafiosi and an army of kung fu luchadores, but the third series–which features jetpacks, giant robots, whale-fighting and the Middleman screaming “KAHHHHNNN!”–will be new to anyone who, you know, hasn’t already read the comics, and I can definitely recommend it.

Then again, it was once described in a review as “a psychological treatise on the Id of Chris Sims,” so take that as you will.

 

 

And that’s the week! As always, comments, etc., blah blah blah Chris is going to sleep now.

And when I wake up, I’m seriously going to get my lawyer to look at that contract.

The Week In Ink: August 6, 2008

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You know, I think my biggest regret this week is that the double-page spread from Kyle Baker’s Special Forces #3 where Felony kicks a bunch of children in the face just doesn’t hold the same impact once it’s shrunk down to fit on the ISB.

But considering that Dr. Who Classics featured Shaolin monks fighting Sontarans this week, I guess everything works out okay.

 

 

Yes, you might be tired of face-kicking after the past week, but Lord knows I’m not, and the one above signals the return of the Internet’s Most Tooth-Loosening Comics Reviews! Here’s what I bought this week…

 

 

And here’s what I thought about ’em!

 

 

Comics

 

Buffy the Vampire Slayer #17: All right, folks: I realize that I normally try to keep it lighthearted around here and stay away from more serious issues, but at this point, I have to say something, because we’re getting to the point where if this goes any further, it’s going to be a national crisis.

The future-slang has got to stop, people.

I mean, it was fine when it was just “grife” and “sprock” in the pages of Legion of Super-Heroes, and even when Joss Whedon himself was replacing actual curses with Swearproximationsâ„¢ on Firefly wasn’t terrible, as it allowed characters to express intense emotion without going through the hassle of network censorship. But between Jim Shooter’s attempt to make anything with four letters that is not actually a word into a 30th-century obscenity and Fray’s annoying hab of abbreving her words three times in every sent with a cadence that would be embarrassingly hokey in Back to the Future Part 2, my urge to punch the future in its cybernetic face is getting stronger than ever.

Let it never be said, however, that Chris Sims is a guy who criticizes without offering a solution, and if your question is “what do I make my characters say if I cut back on annoying future slang,” then I suggest that you do it… like this:

 

 

Clearly, I’m in my zone.

 

Comic Book Comics #2: This probably won’t come as a surprise to anyone, but I’ve been eagerly anticipating the second issue of Comic Book Comics since the moment that I finished the first one. I mean, I like Fred Van Lente and Ryan Dunlavey a heck of a lot individually, but together, those two guys make some of the most informative and entertaining comic books I’ve ever read, resetting the standard for educational fun with their previous effort, Action Philosophers! Of course, it’s not much of a secret that I like that book a hell of a lot too–especially considering that I’m quoted on the back of AP! v.3–so my opinions on the matter might come off as a little biased.

With that in mind, I’d like to just offer you a list of things you can find in this issue of Comic Book Comics and let you decide for yourselves whether it’s really as awesome as I say it is, which it is: Veronica Lodge as a Cyborg Killing Machine. Jack Kirby threatening to kill Stan Lee. A handy guide to spotting Mr. Wrong. A comic book called Fetus Force. A harrowing and entirely accurate portrait of William Moulton Marston’s love life. And one of my favorite stories about Bill Gaines, done in two panels with a phrase you usually only hear from Kevin Church.

It’s truly fantastic, and if you’ve got any love for the medium, you should definitely be reading it.

 

Final Crisis #3: I’ve gotta say, from what we’ve seen of Final Crisis so far, this issue’s the one I like the least.

Wehn you get right down to it, I think you can trace a lot of that back to two things about it in particular, and one of them’s directly to the left. To be fair to J.G. Jones, a cover that portrays Supergirl as an uncomfortably oversexualized teenage strumpet is pretty consistent with the way she’s been characterized since her return a couple of years back, and since Benjamin Birdie–who wrote a pretty snazzy review of this issue himself over at CBR–claimed that he didn’t see anything wrong with the cover at all until I came along and ruined it with my filthy mind, I’m willing to entertain that there’s a slim, microscopic chance that it’s just me.

The other mitigating factor in my enjoyment is one that I’ve talked about before: Barry Allen, who proves that while death might not be able to run faster than the speed of light, nostalgia can sure as hell keep up. Because seriously, when it turns out that a character whose finest moment involved him sacrificing his life to save the universe didn’t actually sacrifice his life to save the universe and has just been running around for the past two decades, it makes it difficult to get around the fact that comics only present the illusion of change until someone comes along to make stuff just like it was when they were kids.

On the other hand, though, there’s an awful lot to like here, too–ateam-up with the Question and Frankenstein doesn’t happen every day, after all–but even the good stuff is starting to feel like it was cobbled together from leftover bits of other Morrison projects, whether it’s Marvel Boy’s Oubliette standing in for Mary Marvel, or the fact that–as Andrew pointed out–the whole end of the issue is essentially just Rock of Ages with Kyle Rayner the Parademon swapped out for Batwoman, Wonder Woman, Catwoman and Giganta as the Female Furies.

Still, we’re less than halfway into it at this point, and at the very least, it’s well-written, well-drawn (Supergirl cover aside), and the scenes with Sonny Sumo, Mr. Miracle and the Super Young Team alone are snappy and intriguing enough to keep me looking forward to the moment that the disparate plotlines all tie in for the big showdown.

 

Iron Man: Viva Las Vegas #2: As you’re probably already aware if you read guys like Mike Sterling, being a comics retailer comes with a whole different set of gripes than being a comics fan, although you don’t usually find one without the other. As a fan, for example, I can wail and gnash my teeth about Dwayne McDuffie leaving Fantastic Four because I really liked his run, but as a guy who sells the darn things, I can at least be glad that–at least for a while–we’ll be selling more copies of FF when Mark Millar comes on.

Every now and then, though the complaints line right up, and Iron Man: Viva Las Vegas is the perfect example. Chris the Fan doesn’t like to wait thirteen weeks to read a comic that was supposed to come out monthly, and Chris the Retailer thinks that it’d be awfully nice if the comic that has the strongest ties to the Iron Man movie–what with the fact that it’s written by the director and drawn by the guy who did design work for the costumes–would’ve come out in a manner that was timely enough to capitalize on the film’s incredible success. Instead, anybody who was interested has either migrated over to Matt Fraction’s Invincible Iron Man–which is awfully good–or moved on to, I don’t know, finally realizing that they ought to read that Watchmen thing that everyone’s been raving about for the past twenty years.

It’s pretty frustrating, but it’s something that I’m willing to completely overlook, because this is a comic where a hard-drinking Tony Stark teams up to fight a Goddamn dragon with the ISB’s favorite monster hunter, Elsa Bloodstone, and no matter what a delay might do to sales, that’s the kind of sentence that means Fan Chris wins automatically.

 

Jim Butcher’s Dresden Files: Welcome to the Jungle #4: In the time since I reviewed the last issue of the Dresden Files comic, I’ve managed to knock through the first two novels in their entirety and most of the third, and I’ve got to say… Those things are pretty damn awesome.

It’s the first one, I think–Storm Front–that had the greatest appeal for me, since it’s set up as though to answer the question of what would happen if Harry Potter grew up to be Philip Marlowe. And Dresden himself definitely starts out as a hero cast in the classic Chandler mold who down these mean streets must walk, complete with an attention to minor detail and an overwhelming compulsion to rescue damsels in distress. It’s a great hook, and by the time you get through the second book, he’s been smacked around, knocked out and tied up so much that I got the feeling he was going for the Spirit’s lifetime achievement record.

What really sells him as a character, though, is his pragmatism, and at least half the fun is watching Butcher contrast the sweeping aspects of high fantasy with Dresden’s dry, no-nonsense commentaries and response. This is, after all, a guy who describes the nature of time and distance in the Land of Faerie as, and I’m quoting here, “all fucked up.” And then there’s the comic book version, who in this issue manages to defeat a trio of ancient and horrible hags with the judicious application of a handgun and an angry gorilla, and come on, man, we all know that’s exactly what I want from my comic books.

So congratulations, Dabel Bros.: You have made me a fan. I mean heck, the only thing I’m not 100% wild about is Dresden’s girlfriend, who is one part smoky latina hotness to two parts Silver Age Lois Lane. And even that, I don’t mind too much.

 

ISB BEST OF THE WEEK

 

 

King-Size Spider-Man Summer Special: You should all buy this comic book.

Not just because it’s got a full-length lead story by Paul Tobin and Colleen Coover where Mary Jane, Millie the Model, Hellcat, She-Hulk, Clea, Marvel Girl and the Scarlet Witch team up to fight Amora the Enchantress, although that’s a darn good reason, especially when you consider that it also features an appearance by Fandral the Dashing. Sadly, Fandral’s two pals don’t make an appearance, which would catapult this thing into Best of the Willennium status, but still: the Marvel Universe’s three greatest fashion models in action drawn by Colleen Coover is awesome enough to launch a series by itself.

And not just because of Tobin and Coover’s two-page backup strip wherein Spider-Man and MODOK–yes, COLLEEN COVER DRAWS MODOK–go shopping for a new rocket chair, although seeing Big M waddle around a furniture store is worth $4.99 itself before you even get to the new stories by Keith Giffen and a full-length Mini-Marvels reprint by Chris Giarrusso that makes this flat-out one of the most purely fun comic books ever printed.

No, you need to buy this thing because it has what is without question the single greatest origin recap in the history of comic books:

 

 

They do not make them better than that, folks. And that’s real.

 

 

Annnnnd that’s the week! As always, if you have any questions about something I read this week, if you want to talk about how great Special Forces is in the way that Kyle Baker effortlessly goes from the creepy to the absurd to the terrifying-because-it’s-real set against an action-movie background of explosions and hot girls, or if you’re still shell-shocked from Cary Bates’s return with True Believers last week, feel free to leave a comment below.

As for me, I’m going to go redub that musical episode of Buffy with Soulja Boy and Mike Jones. You can thank me later.