And Then There Was The Time That Tarot’s Vagina Was Attacked By an Eel

 

 

Ah, Tarot. I’d be lying if I said you never disappointed — the last three issues are a pretty good counter-argument to that — but when you deliver, you deliver. Specifically, you deliver an issue jam-packed with witches, shark-fighting, unrecognizable human anatomy, vaginal trauma and grotesque violence that I cannot even begin to comprehend. It’s a Christmas Miracle!

Ask Chris #38: Is There A Santa Claus?

 

 

This week, my comics culture Q&A takes a jolly turn for The Ask Chris(tmas) Holiday Special! Three cheery questions, starting off with the big one — Is there a Santa Claus? — and then moving into the toughest question I’ve ever had to answer: What do I want for Christmas… from Tarot, Witch of the Black Rose?

If you’ve got a question you’d like to see me tackle in a future column, put it on Twitter with the tag #AskChris or send an email to comicsalliance at gmail.com with [Ask Chris] in the subject line!

(And because I don’t say it enough, a special thanks to Rusty Shackles for re-tricking out my logo!)

Tarot #63 Explains What Breasts Are For

 

 

Lately I’ve been getting a few gripes from readers about how I don’t review Tarot anymore, and unlike Anita Blake — which I honestly had no idea was actually still coming out — there’s a reason for it: It hasn’t been all that interesting lately. I’m pretty sure the last two or three issues were an origin recap that was framed as a story about the origins of Tarot’s leather bikini, and while I’d be pretty interested in knowing why someone decided breast-spirals and perpendicular boot-spikes were the proper uniform of the Swordmaiden to the Goddess, that wasn’t really addressed.

The latest issue, however… is magnificent. So join me as I write up my thoughts on the mind-blowing events of Tarot #63, in which The Talent manages to work necrophilia, head-only lycanthropy, electric fishnets and a pretty thorough lack of commas into one amazing story!

Tarot vs. Courage Wolf

Whenever I go through Previews (as I was for this morning’s post, I always like to pay special attention to the ads for Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose, if only to see if Jim Balent’s had to draw any bikinis onto otherwise naked ladies to meet content standards. This time around, the bikini was the least of my worries, as I noticed that The Talent drew a sexy lady…

 

 

…and straight up gave her Courage Wolf’s head:

 

 

And as Tarot usually does, that got me thinking: What if instead of putting Courage Wolf in Tarot, you put Balent’s dialogue into the world of Courage Wolf?

And as you can see from the image above, that’s exactly what I did. Truly, I am a scholar for today.

Tarot Gets Flattened

 

 

I’ve been waiting to write about this one for almost a month, but ComicsAlliance’s Girl Week has finally given me the chance to throw the spotlight on the upcoming Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose MiniMates! And if you’re curious, you can check out the original video in all its Comic Sans glory, featuring full turnarounds on all four figures, plus the music of Horror Story.

You guys… I am going to buy these things so hard.

The Naughty List: The Five Worst Holiday Comics of All Time

 

 

Over the past few weeks at ComicsAlliance, I’ve had the pleasure of shining the spotlight on some of my favorite Christmas Comics, and just in time for Christmas Eve, I put on my tackiest sweater and bring you the flipside of the coin: the Five Worst Holiday Comics Ever!

As you can see from the image above, this one gave me the chance to revisit “Holiday Witches” from Tarot: Witch of the Black Rose #41, which means that I am reasonably certain that this will be the only Christmas comics article that you read that includes the phrase “almost raped by Frankenstein.”

And that’s at the top of the list.

So give it a read, and enjoy the last-minute gift ideas for the hated enemies on your shopping list!