Today at ComicsAlliance, I’ve infected myself with Gender Reversal Disease (as seen in Legion of Super-Heroes) to bring you the strangest female versions of established male characters in comics!

In addition to the absolute awesomeness of getting a Sexy Girl version of Galactus (as seen above), the cornerstone of the article, of course, is a look at Martin Pasko and Curt Swan’s Superman #349, the issue where Mr. Mxyzptlk gender-swaps the entire world in order to get some vague, marriage-related revenge on Superman, as it is the issue that gave us the sheer hilarity of Wonder Warrior:

Amazingly, the fact that the colorist filled in his arms and legs to give the look of a white unitard underneath makes him look even worse than if they’d just stuck with the tank top version of Wonder Woman’s costume. What’s really strange, though, is that they didn’t bother to do that with anyone else. As you’ll see in the article, the only thing they changed on Black Condor (the equivalent of Black Canary, not the Hawkman stand-in from the end of Starman) was that they removed his fishnet stockings, leaving the clearly lady-type loose corsair boots.

My favorite bit, though–aside from Jenny Olsen, who I would bring back in a heartbeat in the run on Superman’s Pal that I’d shank any number of you to write–is that Pasko and Swan don’t limit themselves to the heroes, and manage to sneak in a few shots of Superman’s villains, too:

I do have to ask, though: Why “Leslie” Luthor? Presumably, her name would be “Alexandra,” which would lend itself better to “Lexi.” Lexus Luthor, of course, being his equivalent on Earth-StripClub.

Enjoy!

I’m back at Heavy.com today with an all-new installment of The Worst of Netflix, this time taking on David Heavener’s 1990 anti-gun-control sci fi action picture, Twisted Justice!

I think I managed to hit most of the high points in the Heavy review–Tucker’s onesie, THE FUTURE!’s version of Bluetooth, Heavener’s utter incompetence both in and out of character–but not every awful thing about the movie made it into the final version, so as a bonus to the article, here are a few of the notes I made while watching that didn’t make the final cut:

– These fight scenes have the difficulty of being choreographed with the characters about three feet too far away from each other.

– In the year 2020, porn photographers use giant Jimmy Olsen cameras.

– Erik Estrada as the Angry Police Captain could not be more cliche: “I have been covering for you before this because you are a damn good cop! But I am through being jacked around!”

– At one point, Tucker watches It’s A Wonderful Life. Rule #1: Don’t remind your audience that they could be watching better movies.

– When given a good ten seconds to step to the left, Tucker decides it’s a good idea to just go on ahead and get hit by a car.

And those were the things that weren’t bad enough to make it into the review. Enjoy!

Today on ComicsAlliance, I help celebrate the impending release of Superman: Red Son in deluxe hardcover by compiling a list of my favorite comic book communists!

As you might expect, I made sure to include The KGBeast, my affection for whom has become something of a running gag thanks to the fact that I’ve used him in at least three completely unrelated articles. And why wouldn’t I? That dude is awesome.

I’ve talked about him here at the ISB before, but the fact of the matter is that he is hilariously awesome. The story in which he first appears, Ten Nights of the Beast, is over the top to the point of being outright ludicrous. For one thing, dude straight rolls around Gotham City in a luchador mask and a leather bondage singlet, complete with thigh-high leather boots, and yet like Ben Grimm, he manages to remain incognito by wearing a fedora and trenchcoat…

…even while he is carrying a bazooka.

And then there’s his truly ridiculous body count. Over the course of four issues, he ends up killing something like a hundred and fifty Gothamites (eighty at one shot!) with methods ranging from poison gas to–and I am serious–throwing cinderblocks at them. There’s even a scene where Batman goes “School Bus! FULL OF KIDS!”

It is Commando starring Batman, and I can’t get enough of it.

The Beast’s most over-the-top moment, though–and the one that I reference in the CA article–is when he chops off his own hand rather than being captured by Batman. This in itself isn’t that out of the ordinary–by comic book standards, I mean–except that he clearly has the option of cutting through the rope that’s holding him instead. Here’s the sequence:

I’m not sure if there was some discrepancy between what Jim Starlin pictured when he wrote that scene and what Jim Aparo drew, but considering that Aparo was far from an amateur and there’s really no other way to set up a guy tied by the wrist and holding a fire axe, I’ve got to figure that either it just didn’t occur to Jim Starlin, or he was fully aware that the Beast could cut the rope and decided to make him seem bat-shit crazy.

Man, I love that guy.

And he’s just one of the many communist characters on the list! Enjoy, folks!

Today at ComicsAlliance, Laura Hudson and I have traveled the world through the magic of YouTube to bring you the world’s greatest international bootleg super-heroes, from the unlicensed, line-dancing Bollywood Superman to the fully legal and completely radical Japanese Live-Action Spider-Man!

The one that stuck out to me, though, was the one above: Mexican Batwoman.

I’ve kept it rather quiet over the years, but I’m actually something of a big fan of Batman. I’d even go so far as to say he’s probably my favorite character not just in comics, but in anything, but even I have to admit that the fact that he is not a foxy lady luchador with an equally foxy sidekick named Esmerelda who fights crime in an outfit consisting of cape, cowl and bikini is proof that we are not living in the best of all possible worlds.

Today, according to CA’s parent blog, the Asylum Network, is National Cliche Day, and in order to celebrate, I’ve put together a gallery of my ten favorite comic book cliches!

Putting this together was one of those experiences where I was almost overwhelmed with choices, as seventy years of super-hero comics have resulted in an entire language of recurring tropes, from the tradtional Marvel Comics Fight-Then-Team-Up to Gotham City’s absolute refusal to put homicidal maniacs behind anything tougher to break out of than your average grade papier-mâché. But it ended up being a lot of fun picking out the ones that were fun to talk about from the near-limitless selection Laura Hudson and I bantered back and forth.

If pressed, though, I’ve got to admit that my favorite of the ones listed is the outright insanity of super-villain names. Like I said when the last issue of Batman and Robin came out, if I’m Dick Grayson and I meet a guy named “Oberon Sexton,” I’m just going to start hitting him on general principle, and if I’m Jeremiah Arkham, I’m going to think very carefully before hiring “Alyce Sinner” to help me run my asylum.

In either case, give it a read, and if you’d like to share your favorite four-color cliche, feel free!