Happy Independence Day, everyone! And how appropriate the holiday is, because tonight’s focus shifts from the major publishers to the independents in the second round of the ISB’s all-out fight to the finish with July’s Previews!
Of course, there’s also the non-comics portion of the catalog, including the massive, lumbering target that is the Apparel section. Rest assured, dear friends, that it remains as classy as ever with this month’s Stupid Zombie Shirt, conveniently available in XXXL:
While we’re on the subject, remember that Countdown Jimmy Olsen shirt I ordered a few months back? Well, much like Countdown itself, it’s already started to develop loose threads that are keeping me from enjoying it as much as I’d like to.
The ISB t-shirts, however, continue to perform well above my rigorous standards for clothing, and make delightful gifts for anyone who loves anything.
Please, please give me your money.
Anyway, now that that’s over, let’s get on with the stuff that far less reputable companies than me want you to buy! It’s the indies, the merch and me, and only one of us is gettin’ outta here alive!
P.228 – Amaze Ink/Slave Labor Graphics: I’m putting this here because I actually missed it myself the first four times I went through Previews, but if you’re one of the poor unfortunate souls who has never experienced the beautiful radness of Phil Hester’s The Wretch, it’s reoffered here and I honestly can’t recommend it enough. It is, after all, a comic where a mysterious, silent, and borderline creepy hero battles Galactus with the power of a See-N-Say featuring God.
Needless to say, it is awesome.
P.243 – Avatar Press Inc.: Hey, remember that time Mark Millar was going to launch a line of comics across multiple companies at the same time, and then it completely failed to actually happen? Well, welcome to round two: The big news from Avatar this month is that Millar’s The Unfunnies is finally going to finish, and at this point, I’m pretty sure that nobody’s going to care. The Unfunnies wasn’t really that good to begin with, living up to its premise a little too well–and probably not in the way that Millar intended–and would probably be the worst thing to come from that guy’s career. Except for Trouble, I mean, and even that didn’t ship three years late.
P.258 – Broadsword Comics: I probably have more of a vested interest in it than any sane person has a right to, but has anybody else noticed that the big full-page ads for Tarot always have extra articles of clothing added in to keep the characters from being completely naked right in the pages of Previews, but the actual covers–which are featured on the facing page–feature unretouched Ballentine nudity in all their relative glory? Cracks me up every two months, without fail.
P.300 – Fantagraphics Books/Eros Comics: And this month’s award for the most hilarious awful porn comic title goes to…
Aunts In Your Pants. Pee Soup, you may finally lay down your burden.
P.384 – Comic Foundry: Tim Leong is a damn handsome man. I mean, I think he’s a pretty good-looking fellow in general, but in the world of comics, which is populated largely with sasquatches like me, being able to pull off that Emo Ira Glass look is like being Brad freakin’ Pitt.
Huh. Did I just spend a paragraph talking about how good-looking Tim Leong is? Yeah, probably best to move on.
Anwyay, in case you missed it, the print version of Comic Foundry almost didn’t make it into the catalog, due to somebody at Diamond claiming that there just wasn’t a market for it–which is a pretty ridiculous excuse for the company that turns over a hefty amount of warehouse space to comics like the aforementioned Aunts In Your Pants–but thanks partly to a concerted online effort to show interest in the mag, it was picked up and (oddly enough) spotlighted in this issue. As for me, I’m excited about it, and not just because of any completely heterosexual man-crushes I may have on its editor; it’ll just be nice to have something that, you know, isn’t Wizard.
P.398 – The Completely MAD Don Martin HC:
Given the highlights of my freelance writing career, it should come as no surprise to anyone that I’m a huge fan of MAD’s maddest artist, and when I first saw this over at Sterling’s, my heart made a noise not unlike something Martin would’ve used in one of his strips. It might’ve been a SKWA-BA-DAP, it might’ve been a FUNKADA WUNKADA, but it was certainly enough to drown out any doubts I had about dropping $150 on a beautiful hardcover collection of thirty years’ worth of the man’s work. It’s the first in the series, and given that they’ve already collected all of Antonio Prohais’s work on Spy vs. Spy and others, I’m wondering who’s next.
P.430 – Stupid Stupid Zombie Shirts: And now, an open letter to Diamond Comic Distributors, LLC:
I will buy you an entire pie–your choice of flavor!–if I never have to see anything like these shirts again.
P.438 – Marvel Super-Hero Squad Mega-Packs: I mention this pretty much every month right before I talk about some new action figure that I want, but I’m really not that much of a toy guy anymore. Even so, I did pick up most of the Marvel Super-Hero Squad figures, if for no other reason than the fact that you can buy a two-pack featuring a motorcycle-riding demon from hell and a murderous vigilante with a bazooka designed specifically for five year-olds gives me no end of joy. But this? This?
The Happy-Ass Bug-Eyed Devourer Of Worlds? That is genius!
P.460 – Star Wars Kustomz Star Destroyer Executor Roto Figure:
Please note that this product is listed as “Pending Licensor Approval,” thus implying that Common Sense was just circumvented outright.
And with that–a cheap shot at Star Wars and what I believe is the first use of the phrase “Happy-Ass Bug-Eyed Devourer of Worlds”–I do believe my work here is done.