Movie Fighters: Equestria Girls

A bridge too far, even for me.
This week, the Movie Fighters podcast returns for 2014, as we go toe-to-hoof with My Little Pony: Equestria Girls, quite possibly the weirdest movie we have ever watched.

I’ve been a fan of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic since day one, but this was Matt’s first time watching anything that had to do with the series, and I could not have picked a worse introduction to the show. After being declared a princess in events that I missed (I keep forgetting to set my DVR), Twilight Sparkle goes through a magic mirror to a world where all of her pony friends are now pastel humans, seeking out a magic crown that can only be won in a literal popularity contest. Before long, the ponies that are now girls engage in what I can only describe as erotic pony play.

That’s not a joke.

That actually happens.

It’s weird as all hell, and mystifying for both of us as we try to figure out just what the hell happened and why, and you can get the whole episode for just one dollar! Check it out, and support the Movie Fighters as we move into our second two-fisted year!

The Movie Fighters Holiday Specials!


It’s Movie Fighters time, friends, and this week we’ve got a present for you from me and Matt! Not only do we have our second Christmas selection, but all of our holiday specials are in one convenient bundle for only four bucks! If you haven’t already snagged ’em, you can grab both Halloween episodes and both Christmas episodes, and you’re set for any holiday travel you may be doing — assuming that said travel lasts for about six hours or less.

You may also notice that there are no Thanksgiving episodes involved, and that is because Thanksgiving is a straight up garbage holiday. But you do get…

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters: Who knew that a movie about Hawkeye having magic diabetes could be so fun? We certainly weren’t expecting it.

Monster Squad: Our most requested “horror” movie offering is slightly more flawed than you might remember it, if only for its ludicrous proposition that Dracula could be felled by mere children.

Santa Claus: The Movie: From the producers of Superman, Superman II and, uh, Supergirl comes an origin story for Santa that suddenly turns into a movie about an elf who makes magic candy and bad puns. We have never been this disappointed before.

Santa’s Slay: By listener request, we take on this holiday farce starring Bill Goldberg as a murderous Santa Claus who, as the son of Satan, goes on a vengeful rampage through Canada on Christmas Day 2005. This is, believe it or not, maybe the best movie we have done on the show.

And as an added bonus…

Rambo: The Force of Freedom: When S.A.V.A.G.E. Stole Santa: We watch the Christmas episode of the ’80s cartoon for kids based on the Rambo movies, which I will remind you are about a traumatized Vietnam veteran just murdering people for hours. It is so confusing that talk about it for ever (IE about an hour).

The bonus episode is streaming for free, but you get it as part of the album. Check it out, and remember, you can give these things as gifts. Perfect for someone who hates movies and wants their biases confirmed.

Movie Fighters vs. Santa Claus: The Movie

Merry Christmas, kids! Hope you like disappointment!Today is St. Nicholas day, and I hope that all of you found candy in your shoes, oranges in your socks, and a heretic to backhand! But really, what better way is there to honor the jolly old saint than by diving right into Santa Claus: The Movie, a theatrical production detailing his origin and adventures, produced by the folks who brought you Supergirl: The Movie?

Well, there’s probably a whole heck of a lot of better ways, because this movie is genuinely, infuriatingly terrible — and you can find out exactly why in the brand-new episode of Movie Fighters! It’s our very first Christmas Special (the first of two that we’re doing this month), and it can be yours for a mere one dollar! Listen in as I go from cheerfully optimistic at the promise of a movie about Santa Claus starring the big Lebowski from The Big Lebowski to being crushed by the reality of a movie that’s actually about elf office politics and Dudley Moore’s puns in record time. Thrill as you find out whether a truly masterful bit of scenery-chewing from John Lithgow is enough to save it (it’s not), and chill as we wonder if Christmas is ruined… forever.

Okay, that last bit doesn’t happen, but we do have fun talking about it for about an hour. Give it a listen!

Movie Fighters: Big Money Rustlas

What sin could a man commit in a single lifetime...Despite all better judgement, Juggalo Month continues with our second voyage into the Insane Clown Posse’s filmography, Big Money Rustlas! It’s the prequel that claims to be inspired by Blazing Saddles, Sergio Leone and Looney Tunes, but in reality is a pile of cinematic shit in a cowboy hat. Fortunately, you don’t have to watch it because we already did, and you can listen to us talk about it for an hour for just $1!

Over the course of the discussion, we discover where all the racism and homophobia that we expected in the first movie ended up, get really uncomfortable at the presence of Scott Hall, and actually get into a debate over which ICP movie is actually better. We realize before too long that it’s not a very productive debate.

Grab the episode today and thanks for listening, everybody!

Movie Fighters: Ready To Rumble


There’s no War Rocket Ajax this week, so instead, we’re bringing you MOVIE FIGHTERS a few days early!

This week, Matt and I sit through Ready to Rumble, the David Arquette/Scott Caan/Joe Pantoliano/Diamond Dallas Page/Oliver Platt film that may in fact be directly responsible for the death of WCW. Listen in as I try to defend Arquette but get stymied at every turn by a wrestling movie that seems to hate wrestlers, wrestling fans, and people who want to go see wrestling movies.

Also, we legit almost barf.

PLUS! Grab all five installments of our WrestleMovieMania series (No Holds Barred, 12 Rounds, No Contest, DOOM and Ready to Rumble) all at once, for a mere five bucks! There’s also a bonus episode where we watched a mystifyingly terrible episode of Hulk Hogan’s Rock ‘n’ Wrestling that you can listen to for absolutely free, if you want to sample the show before you buy it!

One more thing! Speaking of War Rocket Ajax, there actually was a new episode last week that I completely forgot to post about. We spoke to Greg Rucka about The Prisoner, the greatest television show in history and the Rosetta Stone for understanding modern comics. Give it a listen, because it is basically the opposite of matt and I talking about Ready to Rumble.

Movie Fighters: DOOM

DoomThis week, we have hit Movie Fighters Bingo with DOOM, a movie that stars a wrestler, in a video game adaptation, directed by the man who brought you Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li, with the worst lighting we have ever seen. We tackle the film based on a game that makes me dizzy, and I tell a 100% True Story of how people at my high school reacted to a shirt that I bought at Toys R Us.

It’s 90 minutes of podcasting fun for just one dollar, and it’s the penultimate entry in our WrestleMovieMania series! Go get it!

Movie Fighters Episode 6: Miami Connection


Of all the movies that we’ve been asked by listeners to take on at Movie Fighters, none have been as requested as 1988’s Miami Connection! Originally released in eight — yes, eight — theaters in central Florida, MC was a lost classic until it was re-released by the Alamo Drafthouse, and folks, it is a delight.

It’s available to watch on Netflix Instant if you want to experience along with us, as we take this week’s Movie Fighters to try to figure out just who (or what) the Miami Connection actually is, why the students of the University of Central Florida never bother to change their clothes, YK Kim’s clear insistence on method acting, and the rest of the (many) questions raised by John, Jim, Jack, Jeff and Jane.

Plus, I didn’t post about it because I was on my way to San Diego when it went up, but our last episode saw us wrestle with Hulk Hogan’s cinematic triumph, No Holds Barred! Fun fact: There are no actual holds in this movie to be barred, but there’s a lot of sweaty Kurt Fuller and Hulk Hogan’s digitally restored hairline to talk about.

Both episodes are available to download right now for a mere $1 each! Check ’em out, and make sure to send us suggestions on what to watch next!